Poem #3

Joe Way · Post by **Joe Way** » Thu Jan 27, 2005 2:57 am

The rain

I was born in summer or may be in winter
When they walked on tiptoe
Nobody remembers the date
But only the rain with its fragile arms
Slipping in the swing of time
Leaving its transient touch
Was able to whiten the stains
From my past

LaurieAK · Post by **LaurieAK** » Fri Jan 28, 2005 3:10 am

I am having a hard time understanding this piece. Mostly it is my ignorance, but a small part can be attributed to the line-breaks and starting each line arbitrarily with a capital letter.

It is very intriguing, like a riddle...i'll keep working on it.

thanks,
L

tom.d.stiller · Post by **tom.d.stiller** » Sun Jan 30, 2005 8:08 am

To me the first line hints at two different meanings of the words "winter" and "summer", indicating a time of the year ("it's january, thus it is winter"), and a season ("there's snow and ice, thus it is winter").

I'd say that the poet comes from the southern half of this planet.

Poet #3, there's always someone who remembers the date.

Tom

linda_lakeside · Post by **linda_lakeside** » Sun Jan 30, 2005 9:53 am

As I'm not qualified to offer a critique of the poetry, I was going to comment on this one however, it would appear that I'm stalking you, tom, which I'm not. I'll log off for a while and come back another time.

tom.d.stiller · Post by **tom.d.stiller** » Sun Jan 30, 2005 10:04 am

LOL linda

just do "as you like it" (to quote Shakespeare once again)

stalking.... hehehe

linda_lakeside · Post by **linda_lakeside** » Sun Jan 30, 2005 5:48 pm

I've come back and here you are again! I was the only 12 year old on the block with a paperback copy of As You Like It - brrrr. There was another but I chose to block it out.

linda_lakeside · Post by **linda_lakeside** » Sun Jan 30, 2005 6:01 pm

Poet #3:

Sorry for all the chit-chat beneath your poem - it wasn't my intention. I just wanted to comment (as I'm not qualified to criticize). Well, one point has been made so eloquently by tom: Someone always remembers the date. Also, from a person who comes from a place where it never used to snow in Winter (or not much) I like rain as it exemplifies Winter, for me. All the rainy, winter days of my childhood came flooding (?) back as I read this. I like 'only the rain with its fragile arms' and 'leaving its transient touch'. I just wanted to make comment. And there we have it. Much ado about nothing. I wish I could say more - Laurie is right in that it is sort of a riddle. I'll be back to read this again.

Linda

Achilles · Post by **Achilles** » Mon Jan 31, 2005 5:54 am

I really liked this poem and the progression from no one's remembering the poet's birth date to the rain's whiting the poet's past.

Poet3, it was a family joke that my grandfather never knew what year he was born in, 1910 or 1911. So, your uncertainy resonated with me.

Sandra · Post by **Sandra** » Wed Feb 02, 2005 2:42 am

Hello!
This poem is the story of a prejudice........I will tell you soon. I am rather far now.........

Sandra · Post by **Sandra** » Thu Feb 03, 2005 1:47 am

I continue now....
the person that writes the poem is the daughter of a woman that was ashamed and sad because it was a very bad thing getting pregnant before being married.
The thing is that the woman married having four months of pregnancy and when that baby was born she was "hidden" by her parents until nine months had passed since the marriage.......!!!!!!!!

LaurieAK · Post by **LaurieAK** » Sat Feb 05, 2005 8:39 pm

Hi Sandra-

Well i understand now why i could not unravel this riddle.

With the explanation i can now see your intent, but it is not supported by the language in the poem.

If you don't mind my suggestions, maybe you could change the title to something like: "Illegitimate" or something along that line to give a clue to the subject matter.

It seems so anachronistic now days to understand this phenomenon; the stigma of pre-marital sex and illegitimate babies.

Turns out i experienced this first hand. Born in the late 50's, i was illegitimate. My mother found a husband when i was 2 years old or so, her doctor went in and altered my birth certificate to include her new husband's name. Therefore i suppose making me "legitimate." Seems so strange now to consider these things.

Your poem's story of hiding the child is quite believable.

L

Sandra · Post by **Sandra** » Sun Feb 06, 2005 2:01 am

ok Laurie, thank you for your words.
The intention of the poem was not to worry about the child stigma (I explain the situation only for you to understand

but the intention was show the power that time has to erase unhappy or difficult events and the metaphor chosen to make this was the rain as could be any other......then the titlle must remain being something related with that.......