Poem #8

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Joe Way
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Joined: Fri Jun 28, 2002 5:50 pm
Location: Wisconsin, USA

Poem #8

Post by Joe Way »

Winter Again

What! Winter Again?
It seems only a Year
Ago when we had Snow
Shovels!
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Joe Way
Posts: 1231
Joined: Fri Jun 28, 2002 5:50 pm
Location: Wisconsin, USA

Post by Joe Way »

I really like short unambition poems that have a careful clarity to them.

I found this one to have a couple of nice enjambments. With a little more work, it could reach toward some Ogden Nash heights.

Joe
"Say a prayer for the cowboy..."
Critic2
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Location: DON'T FEED THE TROLLS

Post by Critic2 »

I like it all bar the "Shovels", nice idea, nicely done. slightly prefer "pain", it makes a different point but the rhyme with "again" works (I think)

What! Winter Again?
It seems only a Year
Ago when we had Snow
Pain!
paints
Posts: 74
Joined: Sun Nov 28, 2004 3:28 pm

Post by paints »

Pain? Snow Pain?
Oh dear. There is no time to spare. I suggest we move right to our lessons. No more chit chat.
Sound advice to all aspiring poets:
"Just experiment!" Critic2
"Just do it!" This message has been classified as spam and will be deleted by the moderators
"Maybe it will work, maybe it won't." Critic2
Wow.
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lizzytysh
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Joined: Thu Jun 27, 2002 8:57 pm
Location: Florida, U.S.A.

Post by lizzytysh »

You're right, that that's an interesting little twist, C2 ~ anyone who's ever shoveled snow can relate. You ask why I live in Florida?

As the poem stands, I love its humour regarding time and the seasons. Great little ditty.
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