Poem #14

[Joe Way]

Winter's Promise


I will make you love me,
So do not turn away from my touch
When I remind you of my return.
You know I make you quiver
As my misty breath caresses your skin.

I am your suitor, come to call
With my winter bouquet
Of sharp, naked twigs and shivering grasses.
Do not try to shut me out.

You will hear me pleading loudly
In the dark and windy night.
You will surely see me cry for you
When the rain beats on the glass.

I have come for you again
So this time do not hide away.
You know that I will always wait
Outside.

Give yourself to me,
And I will freeze your pain,
Wrap you in my arms of ice
And numb your heart with snowflakes.

I can take you far from here
And give you all the beauty in my power.
Lie down with me where I am King
And I will show you scenes of splendour.

I can change the world with frost and snow
And you shall wear the sun-lit crystals.
You can be mine forever -
Just say my name, with love.

[Joe Way]

I find the overall theme of "Winter's Promise" to be interesting. Winter promises to freeze you!

Is this a personification of winter or is this being used as a metaphor for a relationship?

One observation that was made by a keener evaluator of poetry than myself-don't use the word "heart" in a poem unless it is a poem about Aztec human sacrifice.

Joe

[Achilles]

I like the word heart especially in peoms.

"SO, we'll go no more a-roving
So late into the night,
Though the heart be still as loving,
And the moon be still as bright.

For the sword outwears its sheath,
And the soul wears out the breast,
And the heart must pause to breathe,
And love itself have rest.

Though the night was made for loving,
And the day returns too soon,
Yet we'll go no more a-roving
By the light of the moon."

[Joe Way]

Archilles,

I was speaking generally to beginning poets (a classification that I include myself in, also). Once someone reaches Byron's realm by producing a body of work as he did-he can use whatever words he wants.

Actually, I found the phrase "numbed the heart with snowflakes" to be rather less sentimental and not such a grave problem. I don't consider myself a poetry snob, but clear unsentimental writing is truly a virtue. I congratulate our poets by and large for avoiding the pitfall of sentimentality and cliche.

Joe

[tom.d.stiller]

The real master is she (or he) who picks up a worn-out cliché and makes it a fresh and impressive image. Few ever succeeded, but the possibility always keeps us wanting...

Another aspect is that an expression that seemed fresh and innovative in Byron's times might be well-worn today...

Tom

[Byron]

My first thought when I read this was, "I wish I'd written this."

I enjoy the different perspective that the voice has from our worldly ways, whilst being utterly in empathy with the human condition.
I told my missus that this was my favourite a week ago, and discovered the author this afternoon upon our return from a week's holiday.