The end. A poem

LaurieAK · Post by **LaurieAK** » Wed Dec 04, 2002 1:08 am

Been reading some rather morose stuff here this afternoon and it brought to mind this thing i wrote a few years ago. Enjoy, L.

The end.

Crushed black ice, fills my glass
Right before the fall.
And jagged walls that line the climb
Tear flesh as I slowly crawl.
When the net they throw is full of holes,
Send me freedom from this doom-
On a starless night bring a broken mirror
To reflect my last full moon.

Vesuvius · Post by **Vesuvius** » Wed Dec 04, 2002 7:30 am

"Crushed black ice." Amazing. Do you perhaps have a companion poem. Entitled "The Beginning." ? It would make a great matched pair.

lizzytysh · Post by **lizzytysh** » Wed Dec 04, 2002 4:03 pm

Dear Laura,

I'm glad you were prompted to share your poem. Really fine imagery and use of it. Your "crushed black ice" really struck me, too. You've obviously emerged from this space in time. It would be interesting to read something from your awakening.

~Lizzytysh

KRTEK · Post by **KRTEK** » Wed Dec 04, 2002 5:47 pm

KRTEK LOVES IT

Vesuvius · Post by **Vesuvius** » Thu Dec 05, 2002 3:03 am

This interesting thing about this poem, is that you chose to say "broken mirror". Someone less talented would have been content with just writing "bring a mirror...". What a difference one word makes.

lizzytysh · Post by **lizzytysh** » Thu Dec 05, 2002 4:36 am

"What a difference one word makes".....yes

, just ask Leonard.

Vesuvius · Post by **Vesuvius** » Thu Dec 05, 2002 5:54 am

That brought a chuckle to my lips.

LaurieAK · Post by **LaurieAK** » Thu Dec 05, 2002 7:40 am

I am embarassed as hell to see the word "talent" used here. At best i feel i get lucky! Thanks so much for your feedback. Ever since reading Vesuvius' remark about a "Beginning" poem, i have been pondering its possibilities. There is no 'counterpart' to this (End) poem, but i did eek out a "Beginning" poem. Lizzytsh, i will have to dig up a more lighthearted (awakening) thing. Thanks again for your comments, Laurie

lizzytysh · Post by **lizzytysh** » Thu Dec 05, 2002 4:49 pm

Go ahead and do another, Laurie....we'll no doubt enjoy it

....however, Awakening was synonymous with Beginning when I used it, and you did very well with Vesuvius's suggestion.

LaurieAK · Post by **LaurieAK** » Thu Dec 05, 2002 10:44 pm

Oh okay, Lizzytysh i can see they are the same. I was thinking a wash of something more lighthearted was what you were referring to. (wouldn't blame ya) regards, Laurie

lizzytysh · Post by **lizzytysh** » Thu Dec 05, 2002 11:16 pm

Oh no.....I love the drama. You can go lighthearted if you like, but no need on my account.

Vesuvius · Post by **Vesuvius** » Fri Dec 06, 2002 8:41 am

Yes, take Lizzytysh's advice and go ahead and do another. Don't worry over any "talent or no/talent" approval by others. Continue to give us poem to enjoy.