man on a bench

[Geoffrey]

as you can see from this old schoolbook doodle, i was the first to think of a bench!

[FOXWOOD]

Not quite!

[LisaLCFan]

I am disappointed, Geoffrey. When I saw your subject line, the first thing that came to my mind is that you had created another of your artistic masterpieces, inspired by a photograph by Dominique Issermann (see below). Alas, it was not to be.

[Geoffrey]

Not quite!

ah, the spanish cave paintings. well, i meant a 'park' bench, like the one we are making for leonard - not an anthill. all right i 'll give you the benefit of the doubt. here is another of my early works, entitled 'goodbye'.

[Geoffrey]

I am disappointed, Geoffrey. When I saw your subject line, the first thing that came to my mind is that you had created another of your artistic masterpieces, inspired by a photograph by Dominique Issermann (see below). Alas, it was not to be.

that's actually a good photo, lisa, possibly inspired by one of my old sketches, should the truth be known. in this pose he is a young man sitting on a bench eating puffed cheez doodles. very unhealthy, and unfortunately he's still hooked on them.

[LisaLCFan]

...in this pose he is a young man sitting on a bench eating puffed cheez doodles. very unhealthy, and unfortunately he's still hooked on them...

While contemporary scientific wisdom would have us believe that puffed cheez doodles are bad for our health, perhaps Leonard knows something about them that we do not. After all, amongst those who have seen Leonard in concert in more recent years, there is a genuine belief that he has discovered a "fountain of youth", enabling him to lead the lifestyle of a much younger man. Is it his practice of meditation, his spiritualism, his continued creativity that provides him with youthful vigor? Or, is it the puffed cheez doodles? Perhaps someone ought to conduct a randomised placebo-controlled double-blind study, so that we can, once and for all, get to the bottom of this puffed cheez doodle controversy.

[Geoffrey]

Perhaps someone ought to conduct a randomised placebo-controlled double-blind study, so that we can, once and for all, get to the bottom of this puffed cheez doodle controversy.

well yes, i am in full agreement - but it should be noted that the cheez doodles are consumed in combination with a drink called 'V8 tomato juice'. doodles make a person ultra thirsty, and at the beginning of the video (see below) he can be heard referring to one of the bottles from which he drinks "i can't give these up!" so, he confesses to having a lack of willpower, admits to having an addiction. it seems the greater part of his life has happily been spent surrendering to a strict diet of doodles, washing them down with tomato juice. let's hope it can be scientifically proven that these products contribute to a person's extended youth and longevity. then, from that day on, if we see a person with yellow fingers, we won't automatically need to accuse them of being a chain smoker.
https://youtu.be/gZmi3BDSEM8

leonard's dinner.jpg (54.96 KiB) Viewed 2672 times

[LisaLCFan]

Well, Geoffrey, this new information presents a bit of a conundrum. V8 juice, while often touted as a healthy beverage, contains copious amounts of sodium. As you and I have discussed elsewhere on this forum, salt is not only distasteful but very unhealthy in excessive quantities. And yet, Leonard appears to be a very healthy individual. For him to wash down his salty snack of cheez doodles with a salty beverage such as V8 seems, therefore, to imply that there must be a third component to his diet, namely, something that can truly quench his thirst after all that salt. Any ideas as to what that may be?

[Geoffrey]

V8 juice, while often touted as a healthy beverage, contains copious amounts of sodium. As you and I have discussed elsewhere on this forum, salt is not only distasteful but very unhealthy in excessive quantities. And yet, Leonard appears to be a very healthy individual. For him to wash down his salty snack of cheez doodles with a salty beverage such as V8 seems, therefore, to imply that there must be a third component to his diet, namely, something that can truly quench his thirst after all that salt. Any ideas as to what that may be?

i have seen photographs of him drinking all manner of liquid refreshments, lisa - my mind therefore houses no idea of one specific 'third component'. were i a manufacturer of either cheez doodles or V8 tomato juice, i would attempt to capitalise on the apparent longevity benefits of my products by publicising the frequency they pass through the body of this youthful gentleman in his 80s. his face could appear on the labels; he might participate in promotional television commercials and earn hard cash. many artistes exploit and enhance a celebrity status by lending their names to the advertising world, and yet leonard refuses to be counted amongst them. bob dylan, for example, has fattened his wallet by blowing a trumpet for car and computer makers - even ladies underwear. why does leonard not join their dance around the golden calf? why does he not bow down and worship the root of all evil? why, even when his life savings were stolen by a trusted employee, he was not peeved. when people have without permission used his work for pecuniary gain, he has pursued no reimbursement, batted not a messianic eyelid - merely turned the other cheek. i think the explanation to all of this is because he lives by a strict spiritual code, and should i hazard an intelligent guess as to how leonard can thrive while swallowing copious amounts of salt, i would say the answer lies in mark ch.16 v.18: "those who believe in my name can drink deadly poison and be not harmed."

[Cate]

as you can see from this old schoolbook doodle, i was the first to think of a bench!

ahhh, and probably this as well https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QaNXC9Je8NY

Is it his practice of meditation, his spiritualism, his continued creativity that provides him with youthful vigor? Or, is it the puffed cheez doodles? Perhaps someone ought to conduct a randomised placebo-controlled double-blind study, so that we can, once and for all, get to the bottom of this puffed cheez doodle controversy.

I would like to volunteer for this most useful study Lisa. My Doctor, who has been trying to help me lose weight (trying a little harder then me I'm afraid) might disagree, but in the interests of science (and cheez doodles) I would be willing.

[LisaLCFan]

...I would like to volunteer for this most useful study Lisa. ...in the interests of science (and cheez doodles) I would be willing.

Excellent! Just a few more volunteers, and we'll be all set. In the meantime, please feel free to eat all the cheez doodles you like (just don't tell your doctor!).

[Sideways]

My Doctor, who has been trying to help me lose weight (trying a little harder then me I'm afraid) might disagree, but in the interests of science (and cheez doodles) I would be willing.

Your Doctor is a bastard
he has no stake in your weight
and you have no steak in your diet

Your Doctor is a bastard
he has no diet in your coke
and you have no coke in your nose

Your doctor is a bastard
he has no nose in his face
and everybody nose

I hate your doctor. The last time she examined me, she told me you were pregnant. I reminded her that she had a duty of confidentiality and she retorted, hiding behind her telescopes draped around her beautiful neck, that you had a duty of taking precautions. This is not my business. We will bring up your child together, the darling Doctor and I. She will continue to breach confidentiality all the way until the day of your breech birth. And on that birthday we will sing and praise Geoffrey to the sky for having nothing to do with this thread, and praise Fred for having nothing to do with Geoffrey. Dr Fred I hate you, but I love Cate and feel totally completely absolutely in every way, without a doubt and without any interest, wholly indifferent to Geoffrey and I must have put it in different to make you pregnant so far from home and so far from bone.

[Sideways]

My Doctor, who has been trying to help me lose weight (trying a little harder then me I'm afraid) might disagree, but in the interests of science (and cheez doodles) I would be willing.

Your Doctor is a bastard
he has no stake in your weight
and you have no steak in your diet

Your Doctor is a bastard
he has no diet in your coke
and you have no coke in your nose

Your doctor is a bastard
he has no nose in his face
and everybody nose

I hate your doctor. The last time she examined me, she told me you were pregnant. I reminded her that she had a duty of confidentiality and she retorted, hiding behind her telescopes draped around her beautiful neck, that you had a duty of taking precautions. This is not my business. We will bring up your child together, the darling Doctor and I. She will continue to breach confidentiality all the way until the day of your breech birth. And on that birthday we will sing and praise Geoffrey to the sky for having nothing to do with this thread, and praise Fred for having nothing to do with Geoffrey. Dr Fred I hate you, but I love Cate and feel totally completely absolutely in every way, without a doubt and without any interest, wholly indifferent to Geoffrey and I must have put it in different to make you pregnant so far from home and so far from bone.

This is great writing, Sue xx Well done

[Cate]

I agree with you Sue, it was a fine piece

Your Doctor is a bastard
he has no stake in your weight
and you have no steak in your diet

Your Doctor is a bastard
he has no diet in your coke
and you have no coke in your nose

Your doctor is a bastard
he has no nose in his face
and everybody nose

well, she's actually very nice but I like all the bastards in this.

I hate your doctor. The last time she examined me, she told me you were pregnant. I reminded her that she had a duty of confidentiality and she retorted, hiding behind her telescopes draped around her beautiful neck, that you had a duty of taking precautions. This is not my business. We will bring up your child together, the darling Doctor and I. She will continue to breach confidentiality all the way until the day of your breech birth. And on that birthday we will sing and praise Geoffrey to the sky for having nothing to do with this thread, and praise Fred for having nothing to do with Geoffrey. Dr Fred I hate you, but I love Cate and feel totally completely absolutely in every way, without a doubt and without any interest, wholly indifferent to Geoffrey and I must have put it in different to make you pregnant so far from home and so far from bone.

I love you too Sue. No worries about the astralplan immaculate conception pregnancy scare,
turns out it was just a few to many christmas cookies so you don't have to marry doctor Fred now (unless you want to).

[Geoffrey]

. . . will sing and praise Geoffrey to the sky for having nothing to do with this thread, and praise Fred for having nothing to do with Geoffrey. Dr Fred I hate you, but I love Cate and feel totally completely absolutely in every way, without a doubt and without any interest, wholly indifferent to Geoffrey . . .

reading between the lines here, i can see you are asking for another of my schoolbook drawings. of course i will oblige. next time just ask straight out instead of walking like a cat around hot porridge.