The birds they Tweeted at break of day...

[Rodin]

Bread
Tomatoes
Toothpaste
Sausages
Condoms
Leonard Cohen's Greatest Hits CD
Cat litter
Lancashire cheese
Bullets
Toilet roll

[HelenOE]

Que Spotify te recomiende escuchar a Leonard Cohen cuando llevas 20 años haciéndolo no tiene precio.” ~> Famous blue raincoat
Spotify recommending that you listen to Leonard Cohen when you've been doing it for 20 years... priceless. -> Famous Blue Raincoat

Leonard Cohen is the most depressing music ever, I love it

I'm only sobbing because Leonard Cohen

La verdad es que nadie sale intacto de la música de Leonard Cohen.
The truth is that no one gets out intact from the music of Leonard Cohen.

Just remembered that I’m seeing Leonard Cohen live next Tuesday. Fucking BUZZ.

Hay altísimas probabilidades de que el primer disco de Leonard Cohen sea el mejor disco de todos los tiempos.
There's an extremely high probability that Leonard Cohen's first record is the best record of all times.

No puedo dejar de pensar en Justin Timberlake.
I can't stop thinking about Justin Timberlake.

murió o qué?
did he die or what?

Debe haber sido algo horrible, una pesadilla, dudo de cualquier performance que no sea ejecutado por #LeonardCohen
It must have been something horrible, a nightmare, I don't trust any performance that's not done by #LeonardCohen

Today was painful and awful in so many ways. Listening to Leonard Cohen now with some scotch and things are a bit better.

Mi entretenimiento para esta semana consiste en sustituir "Miley Cirus" por "Leonard Cohen" en todo lo que leo.
My entertainment for this week consists of replacing "MIley Cyrus" with "Leonard Cohen" in everything I read.

Leonard Cohen brilliant. Hope I'm as spry when I'm 79! Wonder if 1D [One Direction?] will still be performing in 50 yrs...or if they'll ever write a song.

I've taken a self-imposed exile from Leonard Cohen's music for nearly a year. Like listening to it now with fresh ears. As prophetic as ever

Q. “Which living person would you most like to shoot a portrait of?” A1. Muhammad Ali. A2 The next person who will pay my fee. #photography


Leonard Cohen, his face is as craggy as his voice, awesome seeing him on 7th Sept Leeds Arena very excited.

I want to see Leonard Cohen in Brighton tomorrow but I've just found out that tickets are £80. I've a kidney going spare if anyone wants it?

[HelenOE]

Crying in bed along with Leonard Cohen bootlegs is likely a mistake.

I second that nomination and also nominate @denverbikecafe as the "Best Coffee Shop for Arguing about Leonard Cohen"

Leonard Cohen is the King, overlord and ruler of everything good.

It is the great tragedy of my life that I will never be one of Leonard Cohen's backing singers.

At a Leonard Cohen concert I bought a Beautiful Losers shirt. Wore it once, someone asked me if it was an ad for a weight loss club

Fuck Leonard Cohen was pretty hot...

Quitarle la razón a Leonard Cohen hace llorar al niño Dios
Saying Leonard Cohen is wrong makes Baby Jesus cry.

Leonard Cohen Old Ideas good middle of the night tooth ache music #poorme

Hay pocas canciones tan perfectas como Memories de Leonard Cohen.
There are few songs as perfect as Leonard Cohen's Memories.

Lo lamento por todos nosotros pero Leonard tenía razón "Everybody knows". Leonard Cohen
I'm sorry about it for all our sakes, but Leonard was right "Everybody knows." Leonard Cohen

Wow, Leonard Cohen really loves to have sex !! judging by his music. TMI, LEONARD!!!!

Leonard Cohen siempre pone las cosas en su lugar.
Leonard Cohen always puts things in their place.

Leonard Cohen y su voz orgásmica.
Leonard Cohen and his orgasmic voice.

Porque todos lo sabemos y nos hacemos güeyes... En estos dias grises recordemos "Everybody knows", de Leonard Cohen
Because we all know it and we pretend we don't notice... In these days let's remember "Everybody knows" by Leonard Cohen

[MaryB]

How is the regurgitation of other people's banality a celebration?
You might as well post your shopping list.

You don't like it - don't come to this thread.
(P.S. I really enjoyed the jokes you posted on the 'Jokes Needed' thread.)

[Rodin]

The jokes are from my new show "A night with Rodin:Tales from a Misspent Life" coming to a theatre near you.

[MaryB]

The jokes are from my new show "A night with Rodin:Tales from a Misspent Life" coming to a theatre near you.

If your show is anything like your jokes, I'll be there in the front row cheering you on. But, why are you still here on this thread if you don't like it

[Rodin]

I'm an awkward bastard living in a suit.

[MaryB]

[HelenOE]

Turns out Leonard Cohen and lapping waves blend to make a wonderful beach restaurant soundtrack

hobbies include; singing leonard cohen songs to a little baby to send him to sleep

Just played Leonard Cohen's "Anthem" to the boys. They are now asking everyone about the crack in everything #existentialistparenting

I struggle to think of a more perfect song than Anthem by Leonard Cohen: "There is a crack in everything, that's how the light gets in."

Financial and geographical inconvenience, Exhibit A:

I'm on my way to see Leonard Cohen play live at The Brighton Centre. Just don't tell my bank manager, alright? #squee

So ridiculously happy clutching this ticket. I feel like Charlie Bucket at the door of Wonka's factory. #leonardcohen

Financial and geographical inconvenience, Exhibit B:

3.5 hours to get back from Reading, jumper at South Croydon. Just got to a Leonard Cohen gig to cheer me up.

Financial and geographical inconvenience, Exhibit C:

2 & 3/4 hours after leaving the office I am now only about 30 miles away from the stage Leonard Cohen stepped onto 15 minutes ago

Waiting for #LeonardCohen and vaguely unsettled by realisation that at 62 I am 15 yrs younger than audience avg age!!!

Bravely pulling down the median age at the Leonard Cohen gig. Confident that JB will stop whinging once he's heard Bird on a Wire

My dad's just won 10 leonard cohen tickets and the first direct box at the arena through work, oh yeah! i'm so happy, i love leonard cohen

Great evening listening to the genius that is Leonard Cohen

A little bit emotional at Leonard Cohen #alotactually

Leonard Cohen has to be the most boring night I've ever worked at the Brighton Centre.

Unbelievably good, fantastic, not enough superlatives! #leonardcohen #borderingonthehysterical

I can confirm that Leonard Cohen is in fact god #brightoncenter #lifetimedream

Love the way Leonard Cohen just throws in Tower of Song, Suzanne and Chelsea Hotel mid-set like they're just some ol' songs.

Leonard Cohen's Suzanne, blasting on the streets of Islands Brygge, and sneaking into the window. Ah, what a nice surprise.

I'm in the Bavarian Alps, which is great, but tonight I wish I was at Brighton Centre to see Leonard Cohen. #cannotbeintwoplaces

*Blasts Leonard Cohen - Everybody Knows* Breakfast music for the elite but poor.

Oh 1970s Leonard Cohen: I LOVE YOU. Thank you @Starbucks. I know you are the evil empire, but I appreciate the music choice.

I tend to think of Leonard Cohen when world events get dicey.

[HelenOE]

Just got back from#LeonardCohen concert at the Brighton Centre. Gig of the year by far, the band were tight as hell, the man himself a legend

Leonard Cohen totally utterly glorious in Brighton tonight. 3 1/2 hrs of joy. And 3 encores!

Amazing band with Leonard Cohen, and praise to the lighting, which, at times magicked Brighton Centre into louche jazz club

Off to sleep, other half saw Leonard Cohen (who ?) in Brighton and just got home, knickers thrown etc. Night everyone

Leonard Cohen was of course too stylish to say "hello, Brighton!" and, anyway, I suspect that he really favours #Hove.

Leonard Cohen - 79 next month - provided a show which lasted from 7.30 to 11.15. There was such a great spirit about it.

Such a high standard of performance by Leonard Cohen and band tonight in Brighton. If you ever get the chance to see him, go. Living legend.

Leonard Cohen you dirty-minded brilliant bastard I love you.

leonard cohen, what a beautiful soul. had a standing ovation before he'd even sung a note

Excellent performance from Mr Leonard Cohen and his highly talented musical collaborators at The Brighton Centre

I cant remember a gig that had sound as good as that .... That wasnt being done by me! Well done guys #leonardcohen

Some artists you must see before you die — some before they die. Leonard Cohen is both — I mean that it a good way! ♥

My 2 gigs of 2013, spring chickens Ralf Hutter 67 Leonard Cohen 78.

Lucky to see Leonard Cohen in Brighton tonight. What a treat. 3 perfect hours, flawless and wonderful. #fb #solongmarianne

Leonard Cohen, Paris 1976. Leonard Cohen, Brighton this evening. Loved him then. Love him now. er, like all the other middle aged women ahem

A great time at Leonard Cohen, the way in which he mixed it all into a sense of now. Well-drilled, of course, but passionate.

"Full disclosure: I didn't watch the VMA Awards. I was busy baking vegan brownies and listening to Leonard Cohen

Leonard Cohen, Neil Diamond and Bob Dylan are the three coolest Jewish men to ever live. I'd like to think I'm 4th or 5th...

...but he ranks #1 in humility...

leonard cohen was going through some REAL SHIT when he wrote "hallelujah" ... my god, the lyrics.

only i would think the boiler is clicking along to Leonard Cohen..

Leonard Cohen. Magician/God.

falling in love with leonard cohen's poetry more and more every day

Im your man" es la cosa más absurda que el gran Leonard Cohen pudo escribir. Nadie es de nadie. Nadie es tanto. Nadie debería esperar tanto
"I'm Your Man" is the most absurd thing the great Leonard Cohen could write. Nobody belongs to anybody. Nobody is all that. Nobody should expect all that.

Just had my first ever cup of coffee. Feel like Ray Liotta in Goodfellas. Helicopter scene. *starts rubbing gums and demanding pay rise*

I give it about an hour, then you'll find yourself playing Leonard Cohen songs

#Leonardcohen on top form again with awesome band. and those voices. brighton at its best

Noticing like a little Leonard Cohen to wind down the day. You can't really go wrong with that guy. #genius #talent #poet

leonard cohen has the voice of a god

Anyone else think Leonard Cohen is starting to look like Spock?

One of these things is not like the others:

Some of my favourite music artists are
Michael Jackson, Justin Bieber, Bruno Mars, Iyaz Chris Brown, Justin Timberlake, Leonard Cohen..

You're doing it right:

Estoy tirada en el sofá, leyendo el Quijote y con Leonard Cohen sonando de fondo. La cuestión es, ¿qué estoy haciendo con mi vida?
I'm lying on the sofa, reading Don Quixote and with Leonard Cohen playing in the background. The question is, what am I doing with my life?

leonardcohen structures his concerts like sex. I'm Your Man (=foreplay) is always followed by Hallelujah (=orgasm). #notAcoincidence

At 78, Leonard Cohen plays 3h30 at BrightonCentre, leaving his audience wanting more. Our greatest songwriter has become our unlikely Elvis

[HelenOE]

How was it for you? #LeonardCohen

The best it's ever been.
His set was almost 4 hours. He looks/sounds in great shape too.

Leonard Cohen me puede decir que soy rubia que con esa voz, le creo.
Leonard Cohen can tell me I'm blonde and with that voice, I'll believe him.

favorite leonard cohen quote at age 14 : "I'd love to see you naked over there, especially from the back" I was like DOWN

Pretty sure when we finally meet IRL that we're going to be friends because M*** told me about your love of Leonard Cohen.

YEAH more like a relentless all encompassing lifestyle

The only way to be a Leonard Cohen fan.

Oh. Leonard cohen, such a beautiful voice c:

Going to see the amazing, awesome, living legend that is #leonardcohen on Saturday - soooo excited!

Mum and Dad are off to see Leonard Cohen next week, I'm jealous

MANY thanks to @chrishawtree for the ticket to see the truly supranaturally spry Leonard Cohen last night. Great gig. Great company. Cheers!

Dios te bendiga, Leonard Cohen.
God bless you, Leonard Cohen.

[HelenOE]

My guess would be that this guy:

Hallelujah (originally by Leonard Cohen but I really like any version) is honestly my favorite song right now. It's so beautiful.

doesn't work out with this guy:

At the gym. There's a dance remix of Leonard Cohen's Hallelujah playing #ThatsMyCueToLeave

Mi psicólogo me preguntó quién era Leonard Cohen. "Un viejito lindo" le dije.
My psychologist asked me who Leonard Cohen was. "A beautiful little old man" I told him.

Leonard Cohen. Me mata. Cien veces me mata. #maestro
Leonard Cohen. He kills me. He kills me a hundred times. #maestro

Estado: casual, escuchando canciones de Leonard Cohen y viendo la lluvia desde mi ventana... Que más puedo pedir? #feliznoche
Status: casual, listening to Leonard Cohen songs and watching the rain from my window... what more can I ask for? #happynight

Sometimes, winding down, there is no better music than Leonard Cohen. Sometimes there is nothing better than Leonard Cohen.

Creo que en cuanto a musica las canciones de Leonard Cohen ha sido lo mejor que he conocido este año...
I think that as far as music goes, the Songs of Leonard Cohen has been the best thing I've gotten to know this year...

Gorgeous Skin 4 U ‏@GorgeousSkin4U 20h
There is a crack in everything. That's how the light gets in.? Adam Selzer

adamselzer ‏@adamselzer 5h
@GorgeousSkin4U Hey guys. That's a Leonard Cohen line I quoted in a book once. Will you stop attributing it to me? Thanks!

Back home. In pyjamas. Proportionally less pissed off. Leonard Cohen will soothe the last of it.

¿Quién no ha vibrado con una canción de Leonard Cohen? Que levante la mano el manco.
Who hasn't felt the vibe of a Leonard Cohen song? Step forward, lame man.

Leonard Cohen to be performing in Ireland continuously through 2016, claim statisticians.

seeing Leonard Cohen tomorrow in Manchester SO EXCITED ACTUALLY HELP

Leonard Cohen was 32 when he decided to be a songwriter. It's never too late. Just sayin.

what is it w/ bob dylan and leonard cohen that their doctors are always stealing their women?

Lovely concert. The Sufi Gospel project works. Newfound respect for the sarangi. Renewed faith in the poetry of Kabir and Leonard Cohen.

[HelenOE]

i want 2 be in a polygamist relationship w/ jeff buckley, leonard cohen, and elliot smith. i would be sad all the time

(is it crass to say that I'd be sad all the time too if I was in a polygamist relationship that included a dead guy?)

goose bumps! all praise to Leonard Cohen for making such a phenomenal piece. you should listen to the Canadian tenors cover too.

Quisiera cantar como Leonard Cohen para quitar bragas utilizando la voz.
I'd like to sing like Leonard Cohen to remove panties by utilizing my voice.

Early to bed for a Friday night here, got a cake to bake in the morning, (and a Leonard Cohen to watch in the evening!)

I just mistook Hallelujah by Leonard Cohen for fucking Let It Be. *shoots self*

A so-called friend has just enraged me by pointing out she's seeing Leonard Cohen in Madchester tomorrow. Guttingly no tickets left.

Ojala yo de mayor tuviera la voz de Leonard Cohen
I hope when I'm old I'll have the voice of Leonard Cohen

Nothing is immune to the Black Eyed Peas, not even my Leonard Cohen station.

Just ate a Coffee Crisp and now I wanna sing O Canada on top of a powder crested peak with Leonard Cohen on my shoulders.

"Closing Time" by Leonard Cohen forever and ever.

...its only us babe an I'll be getting the Leonard Cohen out before too long!

The strong, nuanced take of the average Yankee fan. 27 RIIIIIIIIIINGZ BRAAAAAAH SUCK IT!!!!

To be fair there's a guy in a Leonard Cohen tour shirt a few seats over so I don't know what to make of that.

Leonard Cohen es Dios! hasta aquí mi reporte.
Leonard Cohen is God. That's all I have to report.

Escuchar Hallelujah de Leonard Cohen te hace sentir en paz!! Perdona Dios por mis debilidades
Listening to Hallelujah by Leonard Cohen makes you feel at peace. Pardon my weaknesses, God.

[HelenOE]

I love Leonard Cohen so much, I am physically in pain my love is that strong, it hurts. It is beautiful. I am alive.

Missing cricket and the Rams but I'm sure Leonard Cohen will make up for it.....!

Off to see young Leonard Cohen this evening! Looking forward to it!

In Manchester - not long until I see the awesome living legend #leonardcohen!

Lookin forward to a father/son trip to see an up and coming artist called Leonard Cohen Tuesday night...

#leonardcohen Coolest 78 year old around. Master lyricist shone in Brighton on Weds. Glorious musical entourage in support. Great night out

Leonard Cohen this morning at chez Duck & Cake- what did you two wake up to?

Oh keep telling myself I have to listen to Leonard Cohen more often! Woke to the sound of husband typing.

Leonard Cohen gig tonight at Manchester Arena. Cheapest seats possible mean that technically I will be viewing the performance from Salford.

In my fave cafe #beyondretro for breakfast, they're playing Leonard Cohen. Think it's the first time I've ever heard his music. I likes it.

[HelenOE]

I bloody love the last half hour of McCabe & Mrs Miller. All that running round in the snow, shooting and Leonard Cohen.

Leonard Cohen is sexy young and old

Only one way to cheer ones self up after getting snotted by Blackburn...go see Leonard Cohen.

Full on glam tonight for the Legend that is Leonard Cohen. Smoky eye, red lip, heels... Oh yes!!!! Manchester here I come!

I'm babysitting for C's kids cos she's gone to see Leonard Cohen. Have sprayed myself liberally with her JPG classique as payback!!

Waiting for Leonard Cohen at MEN Arena, loved him for 40 years....

I haven't seen quite so much un-dyed grey hair at a gig before! #leonardcohen

About to see Leonard Cohen for free. My most successful impromptu Saturday night ever

Watching Leonard Cohen #howtogrowold

At Leonard Cohen, they've sold out of sherry and stocks of port are running low

At Leonard Cohen tonight with the cool and the jaundiced. Love it. Bought the tee shirt already

Leonard Cohen fanboys dressed as Cohen at a Cohen gig. About his age too. #Awesomeness

Looking forward to 3 hours of Leonard Cohen. How amazing to still be capable of that at his age.

Will and I are about to spend three hours in the company of the coolest man in the world. Mr Leonard Cohen #happyboys

Leonard Cohen was playing Manchester on the day I was born... and here I am in Manchester, waiting to see Leonard Cohen...

Welcome to the Cheap Seats! Thwarted my ambitions to stage dive. #leonardcohen

Treating Dad to Leonard Cohen for the second time in a year. Just buying time before we can go into the arena!

By which I mean I got tickets to see Leonard Cohen, I haven't actually got him Leonard Cohen. That'd be weird.

Waiting for Mr Cohen, waiting for the miracle to come

Bloody hell Leonard Cohen is fantastic. His band, too.

I cried as soon as he appeared. So many memories attached to his words. I'm in love with Leonard Cohen.

Listening to Leonard Cohen! I want to marry this man! #EverybodyKnows #ImYourMan

Watching the incomparable Leonard Cohen at MEN. Darker than before but still amazing. #wishuwerehere?

Leonard Cohen totally awesome. The songs that make the hairs stand up on the back of your neck keep coming

In Manchester watching Leonard Cohen, the word genius doesn't cover it. Pure class.

Eesh. Leonard Cohen is so *cool.*

Leonard Cohen Manchester concert first half outstanding soon be 2nd half magic #leonardcohenbrill

Intermission time. Been great so far, played some of my personal favs - The Gypsy's Wife, Come Healing and Lover Lover Lover. #LeonardCohen

Just heard some guy destroy Hallelujah on X Factor. Jeff Buckley is turning in his grave and Leonard Cohen probably wants to join him.

know how I knew he was gonna be crap. he said, Alexandra Burke's Halleujah. It's Leonard Cohen. Silly man

Half time at the Leonard Cohen gig. Wonderful. And am feeling superior for being here & not watching another muppet hijack Hallelujah on TV

I was so moved by the first half of the Leonard Cohen show that I bought a set of fridge magnets.

None of us deserving the cruelty or the grace. Leonard Cohen @ Manchester Arena. #church