Daddy's Little Princess.

[Violet]

.. Leonard, my love.. I'm back on this damn blackberry. I have lots to do still. If you knerw what I've been through these last days you'd not be envious. Funny, though, I don't even want to take this trip. I only want to be with you.

.. remember to look and see whether those hideous murals are still at the new Denver Airport, and if so, remember not to"stare" at them. Just glance, lest they mess with your mind. (or so I've read)

Oh, I finally sent my manuscript to the copyright office, "binding it tight" with a silk, midnight blue bow. I am officially Violet Flower now.

I may find a cybercafe in Goa, so I can catch up with you. I already miss our dock and lake.. but most of all, I miss you, my love. Oh--our Tibetan bell survived the storm, and must have really been chiming all the way through. I wish I could have heard it.

You have all my love, my darling.. x.. I send my well wishes for tonight.. and I'll dream of kissing you on the plane tomorrow.. (xx.. x..

[Violet]

.. Leonard, my love.. how are you???

.. I am here. [!!??] [At the End of the World, I mean] I haven't slept in days, and so I'll need to keep this brief. [I'm in a cybercafe]

It's been strange to go from near freezing in New York to nearly ninety and humid in Goa. But certainly it's a welcome change.

I do have to say, it is "wild" here. Really unlike anywhere I've ever been. A cross between what Venice California must have been like in the seventies, and something far more Spanish--as in Portuguese--along with "Indian," of course. Everyone races around these windie narrow streets by a rocky shoreline [with scattered palm trees] on their little motor scooters. Shops and cafes are just opening up for the season, and all the Westerners are showing up. All of them European. [very few Americans here]

I just met the couple who know Buddy Guy et. al., and it seems the boyz will be returning to Goa this year.

.. in any case, my angel.. I have no idea what day it is. I'm guessing Tuesday. Which means you did LA last night. Oh--your Essentials album was included in the line up at Qatar Airways. [it was nice listening to you during my trip]

[I have more I'd like to say on that, but just now my mind's mush].. [okay, let me just add that I wound up reading the last section of Beautiful Losers, while listening to Dylan's Blonde on Blonde].. [given you once said you listened to that album over and over again, and I wanted to see if I could discern just what about that album captivated you]

[I'll get back to you on that] [actually, it was an odd combination, but I do feel F. won out over Bob]..

[I feel filthier than ever, and I love you]

.. anyway--oh. Another highlight of my travels is that I almost didn't get my cat into the country. You can't imagine how many bureaucrats were involved in the fate of my little cuddly kitty. [twenty-seven] But, since I could barely think or even see straight they decided to take pity on me, and let me have my cat. Although, in truth, I had all the "necessary documents".. so.. it was really just an "Indian" thing. [actually, I feel I need a punch line here, but I can't think of one]

.. anyway, Crescent's here with me now. [reading Salmon Rushdie]

Okay, my angel. Oh--I'm looking forward to viewing your reciting A Thousand Kisses Deep. I haven't been able to see much video on your recent shows, given the power outage in New York, and now given I'm not yet hooked up.. but I shall catch up with things soon. [it sounds like your LA show was stellar]

.. okay.. wish me sweet dreams, and

actually, I have no idea what day it is there, or what time. [did I already say that??] Anyway, I have got to get that settled in my mind. I think my today is your tomorrow, but I'm not sure. Maybe it's your yesterday. [actually, I just thought of reading F. while forthy thousand feet above sea level].. [and with Sad Lady of the Lowlands on auto-repeat]..

.. (maybe you believe me now when I say I need some sleep..

my tender kiss to you, my love.. x

(and even as numb as I am, I still miss you).. (.. x x.. xxx..

[Violet]

.. Leonard, my love.. how are you?

.. tomorrow you do Seattle?

I'm afraid I'm still suffering jet lag. Yesterday especially. I actually fell asleep in a chair at a cell phone place. [?] I was in this local "town" that feels far more like a city, with traffic and scooters everywhere--and such heat and humidity and crowds. Mapusa, it's called. Although it sounds like "Mapsa."

.. anyway, I'm gradually gaining some coherence, I think. I'm needing to work on the house I'm moving into, hopefully this week. For now I'm at "K's" place. [everyone here knows "K"] It's right at the center of things in this particular Goan village. Oh, and I've already started the day twice eating Indian spicy food for breakfast. It's wonderful, but.. I don't know about every day. [my God]

.. now, as for

actually, I just wanted to tell you that I feel to be finding new ways of missing you. Now it's here in this far off land. Oh--I forgot to mention the Brahman cows that like to lay in the road. They're all over the place here. Goats, too. Dogs. All just "hangin' out." But those Brahman bulls with the large humps, and

[I'm not going to say, although I have a feeling F. would go into a long aside about it].. [knowing him]

.. but, yeah.. I'm riding these windie roads on this motor scooter, with the Brahman cows.. [they are very stubborn, and will not move out of your way one bit].. along with the goats, and the dogs, and the Portuguese style churches.. and their crosses, and graveyards.. and the palm trees.. and the other trees.. [that have brown "stuff" hanging from their branches.. reminding me of the trees down South that Tennessee Williams must have spoken of]

.. but I'm riding hill and vale.. in the sun, and in the shade.. past colorful Indian shops--half Western seeming, but still, quite "Indian".. and I'm thinking of you.. fearing I'm "losing" you again, with me on the other End of the World.. and you, busy with your tour.

Still, I've had moments of gladness.. feeling I'm in the right place for just now, just to get a grip on things.. just to see things somewhat differently. Although yesterday.. [given the jet lag, guess].. I also had moments of panic. I wanted to tell you to

oh, I don't know. At the very least write me.

[although I was feeling you should "save" me].. [if ever a person saves another person]

.. but.. yeah. I wanted you to save me.

(sigh)

Just now, though, I'm rather calm, and tired. I can't wait to "free" my cat, as he's needed to spend most of his time in this rather large cage, lest he run off and get lost. But once in the new place, I'll let him roam the house.

Speaking of, I already have a jazz pianist lined up, as the place has a grand piano.. so, some progress there.

Oh, and the couple the new place belongs to are just lovely. They are terribly handsome, and about eighty years old, and yet, I swear the woman looks thirty years younger than that. And beautiful. [Indian] And they're just the nicest. She's the music teacher I may have mentioned. And both are rather bookish, and interested in everything that's going on both here and in the States.

.. anyway, I already love them.

.. oh. Remind me next time I write.. [I'm at the same cyber place, which isn't a cafe, so much as a "cyber garage"].. but, yeah.. remind me to talk about "Garbage." [need to tackle that subject].. [it's just such an "issue" here]

Oh, and maybe next time I'll ask if I can have earphones, or if I can use my earphones.. since right now, I have no sound, and so I'm not bothering with youtube. [alas]

.. oh, but as I was attempting to say.. you are with me here, my love.. even when I'm fearful you're not. [since still, I'm thinking about you in that, as well]

.. you know, I was having lunch yesterday outside at a small Indian place by a field, and there were crows there, flying about.. and.. well, there's the sense of "time" here.. the sense that there's a lot more of it, I mean.. but, I was thinking of you, and wishing you were there with me at this place with the yellow field and the black crows.. and the wonderful spices.. and corn flour crusted fish.. (a Portuguese thing, I'm told)

so

yeah. (I was imagining how wonderful it would feel)

.. (I miss you, my love.. x..

[imaginary friend]

Violet,

Thanks for your was a lovely, fat, newsy, colourful post! (The yellow field and the black crows and the spicy food – how joyful!)

Lisa (remember Lisa?) was in India (Pondicherry) for about 6 months, a couple of years back. She loved it, especially the warmth and generosity of the Indian people she worked with. She did mention though, that in India, there's no such thing as personal space when you're out and about in the towns/cities

I'm glad you were able to keep Crescent with you for this wonderful adventure; when you move to your place, put butter on her paws as soon as she gets there and she won't run away (apparently the theory is that if the cat's first experience in its new place is positive, it will stay... so if C. stops and licks the butter off her paws, all will be well.)

How about some photos next?

I'll be going to your Honeybundle's concert in Vancouver on Monday,and I'm so looking forward to it. Wish I could get to a couple of other concerts, like NY & Montreal, but this won't be the year for it, I'm afraid...

xxoo

[Violet]

I.F., you're going to my Honeybundle's concert on Monday???

[tell the security people you're I.F., and you need to give him a kiss from Violet].. [don't make it too too passionate a kiss, though].. [just enough for him to "get the idea"]



[oh, and I know security is apprised of all things "Violet"]

[pretty sure]

.. as for you, my Honeybundle.. [why didn't I think of that term?]..

[oh, thanks, I.F. for the butter-on-the-paws idea, by the way].. [I should have put butter on my paws a long long time ago, I think.. but it's too late for me].. [I'm a drifter, it seems]

[oh, and my love to Lisa. I hope all is well with her]

.. anyway, my Honeybundle.. I thought I knew what I wanted to say to you this evening.. (which I'm finally realizing is your morning).. but now I'm thinking of kitties with butter on their paws.

.. wait.. I haven't poked around here yet, either

[be right back]

.. okay, I'm back. There's so much I need to catch up on, still. Unfortunately, it's nighttime, and the mosquitoes are out now. [they're nibbling on me].. [maybe I should put some butter on my paws for that also]

.. I'm hoping tomorrow I can get back here at a better hour. Oh, and now the woman next to me is talking on her cell phone very loudly, so it's making it difficult to think, even.

wait--let me listen to just one thing

[be right back]

I finally heard A Thousand Kisses Deep from your second Austin show.

[beautiful]

.. anyway, my love.. please forgive me for still being a bit discombobulated. Also, I'm looking forward to having my own computer again in the house I'll be staying at. Here it's just so "public" seeming.

.. in any event, I'm guessing tonight is Seattle. [have a good one, my angel].. [and maybe do one for your wandering Violet flower..

.. oh, and I didn't get to the "Garbage" issue yet, either. [or the, uh, "toilet" issue].. [need to cover that one, too]

But just now, I guess I need to pack it in.

oh. Maybe I'll mention that there are water buffalo here, too. And these little pelican-like white birds with long yellow beaks, which sit on top of the water buffalo. [just saw them today]

Oh! I saw my first elephant today, too. It was all done up in a colorful chalk design. [I'm told that's for tourists] But it was delightful to see him coming right at me on the road. [maybe the man will let me ride him]

.. alright, my angel. Maybe I can tune into your concert in my dreams tonight.

.. (I admit I'm a bit sad just now, and missing you.. x..

(oh, and wanting you).. (just so very much..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8tdDQWYj ... e=youtu.be
FULL SCREEN..

[Violet]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b4R2-GlB ... e=youtu.be
FULL SCREEN..

.. you know, I was secretly wishing you would do this number for me.. (my angel).. and I see you have. [I'd like to spoon through your noodle as well, my love].. [actually, I think I already have]

[later note: I just dropped by for a sec, though I need to go.. but I thought this section needed trimming]..

.. oh, someone tell Arlene for me.. [since I know she doesn't like that I write in this small font, and so I'm doubtful she reads this thread].. but someone tell her that her popping up all over the place reminds me of Woody Allen's film Zelig. [just had to make note].. [I mean, you just never know when or where she's going to pop up again]

[thanks, by the way Arlene, for all that you do here]

.. as for you.. (my honeybundle).. I couldn't write you this weekend since this cyber garage was closed, and I didn't know of another one nearby. I was fairly upset, and thought that this was really it, this time. I was really going to "lose" you. But instead I find I feel closer to you than ever. [??] Oh, and I actually did have your "no cure" song on my mind, as well. [I always pay close attention to whatever song of yours is playing in the back of my mind, as so often one of them is drifting through there.. and I'm curious as to how or why my mind is playing what]

.. speaking of "no cure".. there are little empty churches all around here. I haven't gone into one yet, but I plan to. They're whitewashed stucco, and many of them are about the size of a graveyard's mausoleum.. and so, I'm sure they'd feel very intimate inside.


Well, I think I'll be at the new place in a few days. I just got some appliances delivered, which is quite a feat in India. [the land of "no problem"]

(sigh)

Oh, and I'll have wireless computer service, so that should be okay. [she says] [filled with a daring sense of "hope"]

.. but for now, my angel, I really am "off the grid," as it were.

In any case, there really is a lovely laziness here that (for now, at least) seems to be just what the doctor ordered. [short of being with you] [my love]

.. but, yes. I'm beginning to remember what it is to feel "rested." [haven't felt that way in quite some time]

.. so.. tomorrow you do Vancouver.. [and I.F. kisses you for me].. [if she remembers, that is] [hopefully, she will.. but she's forgetful about such things sometimes]

.. oh. I did want to get something off my chest. India wise, I mean.

I mean, it's nice here 'n all, but

well, when it comes to bathroom habits, I suggest there's some room for improvement. Now, I did hear about the "Indian toilet".. and so, I was prepared for the first time I encountered one. [which, in case you all reading this don't know, is basically a hole in the floor].. [yeah]

.. but, I mean, I do see the benefit of "squatting." .. [well, depending..

.. but what I DON'T see the benefit of is

uh. [let me back up a sec]

Now, for a country that's seemingly obsessed with cleanliness.. I mean, they're always washing washing washing.. scrubbing scrubbing scrubbing.. swabbing the deck.. sweeping.. cleaning. Oh, and as for the bathroom.. if you go into a stall in a Goan restaurant, for example.. there's WATER everywhere. It comes out of hoses, nozzles.. faucets.. [all located just beside the, uh, "porcelain thrown"] [which I believe is a Loser's reference].. [I'm still waiting for Geoffrey to verify that, though] But, yeah.. there's all these faucets 'n things, and plastic buckets, and plastic pitchers hanging inside of plastic buckets. And so, not surprisingly, the whole little room.. [thrown included].. is just covered in water droplets, as if someone had just taken a shower in there.. so

fine. I get all that. [sort of].. But what I DON'T get.. is

well, let me put it this way. I'm not too sure that Indians understand the concept of "dry." WET: yes. DRY: no. No dry. If you want dry, go to the Sahara.. (they seem to be saying).. But, yeah.. if you want to dry yourself once you've, uh, "showered".. [your "buttocksus," that is] [as per a failed linguist who posts back here]..

but, yeah.. after using the facilities, and then showering off.. [your buttocksus, that is].. well, then, in terms of your now "wet" condition, you really do have to remember to bring with you some paper napkins from the table, since you're not going to find any toilet paper. [or, only very rarely does this happen]

that's right, folks: no loo rolls. [hardly ever]

.. so.. yeah. That's my first "complaint."

I mean, I don't mind "squatting," even. [over a lousy hole in the floor] [but, I mean, just provide some toilet paper, is all I'm saying]


OKAY, so.. in sum:

.. while it may be true that the unexamined life is not worth living.. [as some Greek or other must have said] [since I certainly don't recall coming up with that one, myself].. but, anyway.. I'd have you likewise consider that this may just as easily be true of a life without toilet paper. And that's an expression I do take some credit for:

A life without toilet paper is not worth living.

Violet Flower, November 11, 2012

[I mean, honestly, who wants to feel all wet down there?]

[am I wrong??]


.. anyway, my angel.. I'm glad to at least get that off my chest. [garbage will be next].. [I don't think I have the strength for that just now]

.. actually.. (my love).. a few posts back when I mentioned Losers.. I should have said I was reading the next to the last section, instead of the last. Now I'm reading the last, and so, I'm living with [the newly sainted] Catherine under her blanket of thorns. In that, I'm bleeding, and weeping.. and whipping myself, etc.

[she really was resourceful in that area, I do have to say]

.. but what I'm thinking is that this does provide for something of a contrast. I mean, here I am finally catching up on sleep 'n stuff.. and I'm filling my head with more and more inventive forms of self flagellation. Actually, it is in keeping with the Portuguese-Catholic setting. Not just the churches, either. The house I'm renting contains this family's furniture, which is this dark, elaborately carved wood, which I'm told is very Portuguese. I mean, consider an entire mahogany chair of copiously carved leaves, for example. Or an entire love seat. Or side table. J.. [of the lovely couple I told you about--J. and V.].. but, J. said that her mother spent most of her life dusting all this elaborate carved wood furniture. [and I believe it].. [it's a lot to keep up with]

[I'm sure that's all I'll be doing soon, as well]

In any case, J. was raised Catholic, but says she is now an atheist, and for that reason, she now wants to keep living. [which is in interesting contrast to Catherine, as it happens] "I don't want to die," J. told me.. [right after telling me she was almost eighty] She's also the oldest teacher at the university she teaches at. They've kept her on.. I'm told because everyone loves her so much. [and that I believe as well]

Oh, and she was showing me the piano again, and spontaneously began playing an old standard I know quite well. [she played it very nicely, too..

.. maybe I'll leave you with that, my love.. (although I don't like leaving you at all, in fact)

(just know I'm thinking of you, my angel, even if the internet thing is a bit dicey at the moment, and so my presence here may continue to be a bit patchy) (oh, and I would kiss you very passionately if I were backstage tonight) (especially given I.F. is likely to forget to remember, although she won't remember what).. (until she gets home probably).. (which is what always happens with these sorts of things)

(actually, with practically everything).. (these days)

.. in any case, have a good one tonight, my love..

(you too, I.F.)

[later note: I think I'm forgetting here what day it is]

.. and I send my tender kiss to you, my angel.. x

(I miss you)..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AOHOHQgEADI
FULL SCREEN..

.. xx x.. xx.. xx..

[Violet]

.. Leonard, my love.. I'm just here for a sec, as I have to do some stuff right now. However, I just watched you do Joan of Arc in Portland, and thought it beautiful.

[and I continue to feel terribly cheated that I've not seen you this time around]

.. anyway, I know I said I was rested, but, to tell you the truth, I still feel rather disoriented. Actually, I'm starting to write notes to you in this little notebook I brought here.. so maybe I'll transcribe those, since they're written when I don't feel so "pressured".. [as per this cyber garage place]

.. oh. The car I was in two nights ago got hit by a bull. (!).. Nothing too serious.. (although none of us in the car were too sure how the bull made out) The car, meanwhile, needs a new rear view mirror.

Anyway, that's a topic for another day: the rather wild seeming roads around here. J. told me she knew of a study indicating that per capita Goa had the most road fatalities in all of India, and I believe it. Actually, I bought an old fashioned Indian bicycle [for real cheap] in Mapusa the other day, and rode it back to the new place (that I've yet to move into). It was a fairly frightening affair to be the only person around riding through the crowds and traffic of Mapusa on a bike.

.. anyway, I'm still glad I now have a bike. Now I have to figure out a route for myself, since I'm missing already my ride around our lake.. (once upon a time.. in a far off land I used to know..

I miss you, my love.. x.. (and it's tonight you do Vancouver?..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z9L7uS7R ... e=youtu.be
FULL SCREEN..

.. xx x.. xxx..

[imaginary friend]

Vancouver was extraordinary, V. I posted a mini-report on the Vanc. thread in the US/Canada Tour Reports section earlier today...

I was in Row 2, but that still wasn't close enough to kiss him, sorry. So I dedicated to you the modest kinda moan-whoop I let out when he got to the "naked + filthy" part of Anyhow. (He's changed up the lyrics, not sure if you've heard the new ones... I'll ask on the Report thread if anyone at the concert has video of that number)

They had those elegant Brahman cattle in Jamaica as well... once we had a fender bender as a result of the car in front of us stopping suddenly just over the brow of a hill, because of a herd of them filling the road, i.e. out of sight until you were upon them. The insurance company told us that we couldn't claim because in Jam. the law is that cows have right-of-way!

XO

[Violet]

Oh, so you know about the Brahman cow situation first hand, then. [I'm impressed]

.. I do hope someone posts that version of Anyhow. I really need to hear your "whoop." Oh, and even newer lyrics???.. [NEWER ones??]

[now I'm really curious]

[I'll make note of the timing of your whoop, as well]

[in any case, I think there are quite a few of us back here that do have some fairly filthy tendencies] [speaking of your "filthy" timing, I.F.].. [and yet, I'm the one championing "loo rolls"] .. [??]

[I guess it's that I'm an Anglophile]

[that joke's drier than it first appears]

.. anyway, I'm glad it was a sensational evening, I.F. I had a feeling it would be. (and in that, perhaps I was there with you)

[xx]


.. as for you.. (my honeybundle).. I had so much I wanted to tell you today, but fret I'll never recall it all now.. [now that I'm here in this cyber garage]

.. actually.. [to be perfectly honest].. I feel as though I've just been through hell and back. Thank God today I'm feeling more on the mend.

.. but yesterday

well first I awoke, and saw I was feeling a bit under the weather.. which had me feeling somehow depressed.. which led to this "total collapse" sort of feeling--as if I had no idea at all how it was I found myself in this strange place. [??] I mean, I realize I'd already been feeling rather displaced up top my Far Away Mountain.. but yesterday it was even more extreme, as if I had no reference for anything at all.

.. of course, this doesn't have to be a bad thing, necessarily.. but yesterday it was. [real bad]

[just dismal]

[and once again, I thought you should be saving me]

(sigh)


.. anyway, I'm feeling a bit better today.

[not that I still wouldn't like to be saved]

oh. I'm having bad luck on the music front, all around. First [of course] there was that hurricane, destroying my chances of seeing you before leaving the States.. and now it's looking like the Mahindra Blues Festival is not happening this year due to financial troubles. This means no Buddy Guy.. or Taj Mahal.. or John Lee Hooker Jr. No, it looks like "the boyz" will not be sojourning to Mumbai and Goa this year, after all.

(an even bigger sigh)

.. in any case, what I'll do once I'm re-housed, and hooked up, is search out some blues clubs. I mean, if Goa really is India's blues center, then it stands to reason there'd be some blues clubs here. [I mean, doesn't it?] So, that's my next line of attack on this matter.. [along with meeting this jazz pianist].. [who I'm praying is half way decent]

[just praying]

.. what else

(I miss you.. x

.. and hopefully I'll soon be writing you from my [very spacious] front room.. with its very tall white-stucco walls.. and brick-red tiled floors.. and pitched wooden ceilings.. [where you see the underside of the Spanish-tiled roof].. oh, and its elegant wrought iron encased windows.. and carved wood furniture.. [the latter reminding me of a set from a Vincent Price movie].. [you know, like The Tell Tale Heart, for example..

[all that Poe stuff]

[I probably shouldn't dwell on that, actually]

.. [I mean, I have better taste in movies, usually]

I love you, my beloved.. x.. (just know that I'm with you, my angel.. as you continue to rock the world).. (xx.. x..

[imaginary friend]

Here it is V., courtesy of Linda (Sturgess66) and littledragon. You don't hear my first whoop at the first 'filthy' (too soft), but you do hear it on the last – along with a few others. Turn up the sound so you can hear all the lyrics. From Linda's post on the Vanc. concert report thread, here's Agent Longing with your song:

Imaginary Friend/Sheila - here's one -

Uploaded by littledragon - Thanks!

Anyhow
http://vimeo.com/53479408

Enjoy! XO

[Violet]

Well, I.F., I did hear whoops.. [in the second "filthy" section].. and so, I think I can safely assume that was you. [!!!]

[so cool]

[oh, and I'm truly honored]

[I mean, that the word "filthy" would have you thinking of me]

[xx]


.. as for you.. (my honeybundle).. as per I.F.'s commentary, I actually do have those silk cords stashed away somewhere. [I mean that wasn't just fiction]

[in case you ever wondered]

.. so.. whenever you're ready..

.. [soon, I hope]

Actually, my love.. considering some if its more "filthy" content, that song is seeming more and more classy. I love that. I mean, you've really got the whole thing down now. And it's been great fun watching it evolve, too.

.. now I'd like to catch up on some of the other videos.. and since tomorrow I'll [possibly] be moving.. [possibly].. and getting hooked up.. [well, that might take a while].. still, catching up with you is seeming more and more possible.. [she again says all hopeful-like]

.. actually, you can't imagine how wonky this cyber garage computer is. I'm lucky I'm managing to post something at all, in fact. I keep losing stuff.. and the connection at youtube is the pits.

.. speaking of.. what I haven't mentioned yet is that there are power outtages out here several times a day usually. [!!!!]

[yeah]

[and I thought my mountain top power situation was dicey].. [my God]


As for the "loo roll" situation.. [I've gotten several private messages expressing much concern over this].. [thanks to you all].. [and yeah, it is untenable]

.. in any case, I went to brunch today at a very nice German.. [yes, German].. restaurant on a lovely river. [not sure which river, actually] But it was sort of great having good Western food again.. [as in] an omelette.. my English Breakfast tea.. a wonderful potato pancake. [CHOCOLATE ICE CREAM TO EXPIRE OVER]

.. I even met the German proprietors. [K., of course, knows them] But, it's a real classy joint, I must say--all rather open feeling, under this very high white-painted rattan sort of tent ceiling.. with just the loveliest view of the river.

.. but, I mean, given how nice the place was, this only made it even more confusing when I was met with yet another of those "Indian" toilets. [???????????]

[no loo roll in sight, either]

[later note: not to imply that there aren't nice Indian restaurants.. but

well, in such restaurants one might expect the "hole in the floor" sort of bathroom set up]

.. in any event, considering the nature of the restaurant, I didn't even THINK to bring my paper napkin with me.

.. but, I guess the proprietors were thinking "when in Rome"..

[although I have a feeling those Romans were probably all over the toilet paper situation].. [I mean, how could they not have been?.. Or, well.. what's the alternative?

oh, sorry, we conquered the world, but still haven't come up with an acceptable way of wiping our own asses???]

[much later edit: I removed a youtube link just here that's always bothered me]


Oh. So, the weather's improving, my angel. It seems to be getting cooler and less humid with each passing day, which is great.

.. you know, given I was told it can get cool in the evenings.. and given my "chanteuse" scenario.. I brought WAY TOO MANY clothes. Especially considering that all I've been wearing for days now are two striped bikinis, my favorite skimpy cotton top, and cutoffs. [yeah, I re-wear my top since I don't even seem to sweat here].. [??].. [I have no idea why that is, either

I mean, the sun is blazing hot. But, no. No sweat at all.

[oh, except for the day I rode my bike back from Mapusa].. [just remembered]

.. actually,.. [speaking of Mapusa].. the last time I was there a brown-skinned Indian woman smiled at me, touching my arm, saying: "You are very white."

[I guess she didn't realize that Western white women are quite often looking to get tan, and so this isn't necessarily a complement]

.. anyway, I'm sure I'll be nut brown at some point, even though I'm using a lot of sun block, so not to get burned. But I honestly don't think one can avoid getting a tan here. [I'm just trying not to be red first]


.. alright, my angel. I should go.. but, I'm again frustrated, since I know there are very specific things I wanted to tell you.. only, once I'm here, I go almost blank.

[luckily I.F. has a way of throwing in some filthy interference now and then, or I'd really be sunk]

.. oh. Just remembered. K. just got further word from the guru dude I've mentioned.. [the one who heads the ashram she belongs to] [up in the mountains about a day from here]

[you remember: the End of the World guru dude]

.. now, not to leave you in suspense or anything, but I think I should mull things over, and get back to you on this. [it's either nothing to worry about, or the End is near]

.. oh. I also tried.. (my love).. to get to your site to check the schedule, only I couldn't make that happen, given this lousy connection. But, as I recall, you're doing quite a few Canadian gigs, and are moving across the continent just now..

.. and so, I again send my tender kiss.. x.. (which is traveling vast oceans to get to you, my angel..

(I miss you)

[Violet]

OH MY GOD. I can't believe this happens to me even here. I just accidentally erased my entire post. [!!!!!]

I need to go.. but

have a great night tonight in Calgary, my angel.. x.. (and I'll write soon

I've had a few, uh.. "trip ups".. nothing serious.. but it's taking me a bit longer to move, and get hooked up, is the thing.

(I love you, my darling.. xx x..

(stay warm)

[Violet]

Okay. Tomorrow I'm actually moving [finally] a few villages from here. I'm on K.'s newly fixed computer, only I've no headphones.. so.. no youtube just now. [don't want to make any noise]


.. how are you, my love? I hope Calgary went well. [I'm looking forward to catching up]

I saw on one set list recently.. [if I'm recalling this correctly].. Joan of Arc.. The Guests.. and Waiting for the Miracle.. all in a row.. which is rather like a Violet manner of heaven, I think.

(sigh)

.. as for the latest Goa news.. my kitty cat escaped and went missing for nearly twenty-four hours. (!) I was just about to become thoroughly morose when he showed up, showing signs of having been in a fight. I think he needed to hide out until he felt it was safe enough to come back here. [and no, I.F.. I didn't put butter on his paws, but maybe should have].. [although I'm not sure that prevents cat fights]

In any case.. this entire trip is obviously all about my cat.

[obviously]

I even spent the last few days putting screening in the windows in the house I'm moving to. This is because there are no glass windows or screens in any of the houses here. Just wooden shutters, and wrought iron.

.. anyway, I'm finally "cat proofed," and can give him free rein of the house. Then maybe I can concentrate on a few other things.. [I'm hoping].. such as getting hooked up. Oh, and having the piano tuned. [and seeing if this jazz piano player is any good]

.. speaking of.. the acoustics in the house are rather wonderful. [who knew?] It must be the high ceilings, and tile floor maybe. But it sounds just great, and so I love singing there. So, maybe it's good I'm here, after all. [we'll see].. [this whole enterprise has been a bit touch and go, I do have to admit]

.. in any case, I think I'll feel a bit more focused and settled once I'm in the new place. Actually, it's an Indian neighborhood, not at all for tourists, and so this is the "real deal." As I said, it is rather a lovely house. Especially now, with a touch of paint, here and there, etc. [yeah, I've been busy]

.. as for other matters.. well.. even though I do want to get to some "topics" that have been on my mind.. [I remember mentioning "garbage"].. [you'd be surprised how screwed up and complicated that topic is as concerns this place].. [but I'll get to that soon] Oh, and there's also the roads. [it's just nuts out there]

.. but, for now.. I just thought I'd touch base.. and say that I'm finally moving.. and that I'll hopefully be feeling a bit more "normal" soon. Fortunately, the weather is much improved--not nearly as humid.. and it's cool in the evenings. It's still blazing hot in the sun, though. [my God] Actually, tonight I watched a rather hazy sunset over the ocean, with an orange orb of a sun, which quickly vanished into the blue-grey haze. But it had me thinking of our lake.. (my love).. and all the lovely sunsets I witnessed there. And it was strange. I mean, I miss that place, almost as if I'd watched all those lovely sunsets with you.

.. 'til soon, my angel.. x.. (I miss you..

[Violet]

.. my angel, how are you? I took a quick peek around, and see the tour's still going great. [I did just move, but am still not hooked up yet, and so once again I'm at that cyber garage]

actually, I wrote the following on a little notepad today..

[here goes..

.. my love, I can't say I'm having the easiest time of it. I'm moved in, and am really feeling the lack of a computer.. along with my classic movie station.. and the New York Times [believe it or not].. or even one lousy radio. [of course, thanks to this site, I did read that Obama won the presidency of South Florida, I think it was.. so, I'm at least caught up on that]

[at least]

Anyway, the truth of the matter is, I had a horrible first night in the new location last night. Monsoon brings this terrible dankness to these houses, and in preparing the house yesterday, I got exposed to far too much mold, etc., which had me waking up at 2 a.m., barely able to breath. I don't know why, exactly, but this was accompanied by a total state of panic. I actually started to feel as though I were on "the other side of the world," about to slip off. That's when the screaching roosters started in.. [yes: in the middle of the night].. to be followed by just the most desolate howling of a dog. [this after some very noisy neighbors went at it all evening].. [in a dialect I couldn't name]

.. then.. just before dawn came the "bakery" man on his bicycle, blowing his pathetic little horn. [forever and ever and ever he did this] Actually, his horn reminded me of the opening scene of that Peter Sellers movie, The Party.. [in which Sellars plays an Indian dude, appropriately enough]

.. oh, and then the various neighbors all noisily got up.. oh, and all the exotic birds started in.. [the roosters taking a breather until they started up again later in the day]

K.'s place is also noisy, but somehow I'd adjusted. I guess it's also that her location is far more trendy, whereas I feel to be deep in the interior.. [never to be found again]

[to tell you the truth, my angel.. I had a real good cry last night. And even though there's that damnable Indian toilet I'll have to deal with, I'm about to have a late lunch/early dinner at that German place]..

.. in any case, I think I may have learned a vital lesson.. [already] Now, it's not that I don't see why it is Westerners come here, and very often just fall in love with the place. I honestly do see that side of things. However, for me.. well..

.. let me put it this way.. what I'm also thinking is that I may return just after the holidays, which is much sooner than I'd originally planned. I wish it could be sooner, in fact, so I could see you in New York. But that's not possible, with things getting terribly booked at holiday time.

.. but.. yeah. That's what I'm thinking.

In the meantime, I'll get hooked up, and get to work--even with the inevitable power outages. Oh, and I'll meet this pianist, too. So.. it's not that this has been a waste..

it's just

I don't know. I'm surprised at how emotionally difficult all this has been for me, in fact. Thank God my kitty returned, and is happily roaming the new house now. In addition to that, I have met some terribly lovely people. K.'s landlord.. [an Indian woman].. was so concerned for the welfare of my cat that she wound up praying for his return. (!)

[I was just so moved when K. told me that]

.. so.. it's been a mixed blessing, I'd say. The worst of it is that panicky feeling, as if you have no control over anything. It doesn't help I guess that that guru dude I keep mentioning is

actually, I'll get to that later. [I'm still not sure what to think]


.. alright, my love.. have another great night tonight.. and I send again my tender kiss.. x.. (and my hope and prayers that all might be well in this world).. (whatever side of it one is on)..

(I miss you)

[Violet]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WaJuR8QaBrQ
FULL SCREEN..

.. my angel, how are you?.. I just read here that your Anyhow in Saskatchewan was the best yet.

.. as for this "End of the World" theme.. I have to say, my difficulties here are not exactly abating.. including my feeling so very disconnected from here.. [the forum, I mean].. and so, from you.. (my love) I did get a "dongle".. [am I the only one who finds that word rather, uh, sexual sounding?].. but, yeah.. I did get a dongle [finally] in Mapsupa, but it takes days to get it "activated." [no comment] So.. maybe later today.. or tomorrow.. or

[that's India for you]

Also, I did make it here yesterday--to the cyber garage, I mean--and hoped to wish you and all a Happy Thanksgiving.. but I got a call from the t.v. people, and needed to be "home" to receive the delivery. [yeah.. I got a new "old fashioned" television since, in addition to the internet, I thought I needed a bit more civilization at this point]

.. [any case, a belated Happy Thanksgiving to all those that celebrated]

.. as for the End of the World.. well

let me put it this

uh. Actually.. I thought I'd maybe post the note I wrote you [in rather a desperate state] the second "morning after" at the new place, my angel. This should give you some idea as to this underlying theme I've been grappling with since I've been here.

[here goes..


My love, I wish you would write me a simple note saying: "Everything will be alright".. even if you don't necessarily think so. Still, it might help.

Last night was also terrible. It was as though all the beasts of the tropical forests in these parts had come out to tell the world of some horror to come. I'm not making this up. It sounded like at least a hundred dogs--all outside in the dark, with their howls and barks responding to each other. For hours this went on.. granting to the darkness an audible dimension of its endlessness. Then the loudest and meanest of the dogs started in. I think he must have been very close by.. just across the road, even. But when he growled it seemed as though all the rest needed to listen. Then.. unaccountably.. all went silent. But it's too late. The damage is done. [I keep scheming a way out of here.. especially as I lie in bed, in the middle of the night. But in the daytime, too, I do.. so not to have to spend another harrowing night here]

.. you know, I even found myself pledging to God that I would be a far better person if I'm allowed to return safely to the States. I know that sounds rather dire, but that's how I've been feeling here--at night, especially. Maybe I could find a way of helping people.. [is how I've been thinking].. if only I could go back.

The guru I've mentioned--


.. actually, my love.. I think I'll stop what I wrote, as this information has been "updated." But.. yeah.. it's been a bit rough for me. That morning I wrote the above, especially. That same day went a lot better, however. And the next night was the best so far. Only, last night it got hot and humid again, and I could barely breath again.. so

not as good, I'm afraid.. as I lay there, listening to the dogs, and the screeching roosters.. and the "bread man."

.. still, I'm really alright just now. Fairly, at any rate.

.. but, you know

actually, I just don't know how to really broach this subject. I've brought it up before, and I just don't know what to say about it. I guess I thought that once I was here I could put all this "End of the World" business out of my mind.. but then this person who sits in silence most of the time, but emerges again, and updates his take on this matter--the guru, I mean--but, just as I got here he made another announcement. This guru is from the ashram K. belongs to, which is an overnight journey from here. K.'s the only Westerner who belongs to it. In any case, he is concerned about December 22nd. He feels it could be a day that has fairly devastating ramifications for us all.

.. but, you know, my angel.. I'm really not a doom and gloom, End of the World type person. I've been entirely critical of those End of the World cults, and I really am not the type to "sign on" to things, generally speaking, without coming to my own conclusions, etc. Maybe it's just that I'm in this foreign place, and that this person--whom I believe is sincere, and

well, as I've said in the past, I have read scientific data pertaining to various scenarios that could indicate real trouble for our planet. So, in that sense, this person is echoing such ideas.

.. however.. if I stand back a bit.. calm down.. [which is all one can do with this sort of stuff, after all].. but, then, my reason tells me that this person is maybe picking up on something that "could" transpire. Still, he's mainly being cautious for those people whom he looks after. Those belonging to his ashram. He wants them to have some ready cash, for example, since he's concerned the power grid could go out indefinitely. Things like that.

.. so

in any case, what I find myself wondering is just how to "take in" this stuff. I'm already rather unhappy here for reasons I've mentioned, and other reasons as well. And so, I'm wondering then whether I shouldn't just go back to the States--soon, I mean.

.. at least I'd be where I have a reference for things. I might even be able to see you in New York.. if your shows are not sold out, that is. [and if I can scrape together the ducats, at this point]

(sigh)

.. so

that's where things are just now. It's just all so strange.

I will say more once my "dongle" gets, uh

[I was going to say once my dongle's up and running, but that seemed rude somehow]

.. but.. yeah.

oh. I had a fantastic lunch today, prepared for me by the daughter of K.'s landlord. [the landlord being the lovely woman who prayed for the return of my cat]

.. it was a wonderful "Goan" meal, and so, again.. I don't want to sound as if all of this trip has been awful. I had a nice Thanksgiving meal at the German place, too. And just the "wildness" of the place is sort of great feeling.. [at times].. when you're out on the road.. [as hazardous as it may be..

.. so

just wanted to say that. I mean,

well, maybe.. in another sense.. I came here to get a better perspective on my life in the West, and I think I have. There is a great deal I'm concerned about, but I also see what I have there.. so, this whole experience has been good for re-realizing that. [oh, and I still want to meet with the pianist here, too.. so

.. alright, my beloved. As I said before, I've been fairly miserable, too, to be so out of touch with you. Have a wonderful night in Chicago. I wish more than ever I was there, my love.. (send me some good luck, if you can.. and I send again m

oh. Speaking of. I dreamt of you the other night. We were on board a large ship. I believe it was nighttime. I was tenderly kissing your cheek, softly telling you I that I couldn't see you perform in New York. For that reason, it was sad.. but terribly tender, too..

.. so.. I send again my tender kiss, my angel.. x.. (hoping that maybe I'll find a way to see you..