Measurement and Metaphor

[Jimmy O'Connell]

Measurement and Metaphor

It’s a radio game. Is there such a place as
Ballyslashguttery? Yes.

It’s a townland between the Boora bog and Kilcormac in County Offaly.
It’s an anglicized corruption of three Irish words: baile (pronounced bawl-ye); slais (pronounced slaw-sh) and guthaire (pronounced guh-ar-e).
The meaning of each Irish or old gaelic word is not clear, and can be translated or interpreted in different ways.
Local historian, Tom Guinan, believes that ‘bally’ comes from the Irish ‘baile’, which can mean a town or village; or could be ‘beal’ which means a mouth or ‘bal’ a boundary.
‘Slash’ could be 'slais', an old word for bog or marshy area, or even a well; and ‘guttery’ could be a corruption of Guthrie, a family name, ‘gadhar’ a goat, or a local saint Gowery, who could have also been a druid from pre-Christian times.

Ballyslashguttery could mean:
the place of the goat’s well;
the location of Guthrie’s well;
the boundary between the bog or marshy land and meadowland;
the mouth, or entry place into the bog marked by a well;
a place of pilgrimage to either an ancient druidic site, a well of Gowery or Saint Gowery.

To complicate matters further, you won’t find Ballyslashguttery on any ordnance map because not every bog or well in Ireland is officially recognised.

So, true or false?
Does Ballyslashguttery exist?
How do you know?
Not, how does one know,
but, how do you know?

Are you willing to travel to the Boora bog,
if it exists,
Kilcormac,
which could exist,
County Offaly
(that does field a hurling team, not bad at the moment, and a football team, absolute rubbish, though they did have a valorous past);
Ireland (a wet and mist-benighted island west of Wales and east of Boston), which is generally accepted as being in existence…

And meet Tom Guinan,
a non-drinker, so you won’t find him in any pub,
if you can believe that…
if he exists…

And will you believe what he tells you?
if he decides to tell you…
And how will you know,
and in the knowing be satisfied?
And what satisfaction?
The satisfaction of belief, or
the satisfaction of doubt,
or the satisfaction of a hot whiskey, or tea, of ‘whatever yer havin’ yerself’ in a house in Kilcormac and
talk with that Guinan lad and the stories he tells?

[Cate]

This is captivating Jimmy, I like it a lot.

Myself, I don’t know and I won’t know until my feet are wet and sinking in the muck but it's fun to ponder

[Jimmy O'Connell]

They make good strong tea in Kilcormac or a strong dram of whateveryerhavinyerself, Cate. Recommended...

[Cate]

I like tea but I've never had a 'dram' of anything so I'd have to go for that.

[Manna]

Of course Ballyslashguttery exists, and also Tom Guinan. I believe it because you've told me so, and you've never given me any reason to disbelieve the things you tell me.

[Jimmy O'Connell]

Manna, your trust in me does wonders for my soul...