Daddy's Little Princess.

[Violet]

.. Leonard, my love.. I'm afraid your Violet flower is a little under the weather. I'll be okay.. it's just that everything seems to have hit me all at once, and.. well, my head feels to be in a sieve, and

.. I did work today.. but I felt so bad at one point, I had to lay down, and I listened again to the four songs in a row.. it was a real pleasure, my love.. and I'm so looking forward to hearing the whole thing. I heard from the sellers, and they just sent the CD.. so I imagine I'll be listening to it soon.

.. but for now, I'm up from the couch, and on my way to bed, and hoping tomorrow I'll be on the mend. I'm sure I will be, my angel.. x.. (you keep well yourself, my love)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t7NeYLYW ... re=related
FULL SCREEN..

xx.. x xx.. x x x..

[Violet]

.. you know what, my love??.. I thought, well, I may as well write this little love note to you now, because.. well, because I just feel so so so so so so in love with you. It's as simple as that.

let me see if I can find

here it is. Now, try to ignore.. (my love).. the fact that whoever posted this number seemed to be fixated on Sarah's neck for some reason.. [don't quite know why that is].. [to each his own, I guess].. still, my angel, I think the song, and the terrific voice on this more than makes up for the inevitable youtube nonsense].. [my beloved]..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3SwCxB4HhuE
FULL SCREEN..

.. so, yeah.. even though I'm suffering a bit of head cold, it seems.. well, I just feel SO much better today, my angel. Last night I didn't say much, since.. well, truth be told, that "darkness" you speak of was getting the better of me, and I knew it probably had more to do with a throbbing head than anything else I was thinking.. but.. yeah, I was even having a hard time with the writing. I mean, when you're feeling lousy, then everything just seems lousy.. which was making me feel even MORE awful. But, well, today, I looked at it fresh.. and.. well, I have to say, I think it's reading well, as I was finding myself really enjoying it. Of course, I still have more editing work to do on it.. [it's a tough bronco to try and wrangle into shape, in other words].. but if I succeed in this, it's to master that combination of "fun to read" along with, well, "bouts of horror," as to the subject matter it's broaching.. which.. well, in the end, I think is really the way to go with this sort of thing. I mean, yes.. you want to go to that darkest place, at times, just in terms of.. yeah: truth seeking, I guess it is.. but, you don't want to wallow in there for too long.. lest.. well, as you noted.. that darkness can get you, then.

.. you know, I was thinking of those lines of yours today:

I said, is this contagious?

You said just.. drink it up!

.. I like the sense of a potentially indifferent God, in that. I do feel that way sometimes. I mean, I do feel to have this God-entity "person" on probation, as it were. [for the time being, that is]

.. actually, I think you manage a good combination of both enjoyable musicality alongside "the horror of it all" in Amen. I see it's no longer posted via Sony's website*.. so.. maybe I'll wait 'til I get my CD to listen to it again. Then I'll hear the whole thing "fresh".. but.. in just recalling it, it is both entirely enjoyable, and yet, is dipping into that darkness, as it were.. in a way that's entirely effective. [my angel]

[another sigh]

.. anyway, for me these days, my favorite thing is when I land on a good, and often times humorous line for Agent Longing. [that's really when I'm most happy]

[have I told you just how much I adore you lately???] [????????????]

.. gosh, it's gotten so windy out, it's good I'm writing this now, as I'm likely to lose power again. I'm actually hoping for some sun this weekend.. so, maybe I'll finally make it out to our lake again, my love.. my angel.. my perfect perfect

[endless sigh]

.. so, yes.. maybe I'll see those peaceful waters again, and contemplate.. well.. you, in fact. [my beloved]

.. okay, I guess it's back to work, then. You know, I do have dreams of you rescuing me from atop this Far Too Windy and Bleak at Times Mountain.. [as I've just renamed it].. and I'm quite serious about that.. (my love).. [as to your rescuing me, I mean].. [I mean, I think things may well have come to that, in fact]

[that sort of sigh that's full of just the sweetest kind of longing]

.. okay.. my profoundest love to you, in this tender kiss, my angel.. x.. and.. well, just to say again that all will be well.. (I promise).. (my springtime).. (my Divine)

.. I know I've posted this at least twice so far.. but.. (I can't help it.. x x xx.. like you, it's.. well.. divine..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yTKXEtOWFlk
FULL SCREEN..

.. xx xxx.. xx xx.. xx xxx..

* okay, now I see the entire album is streaming still.. so.. don't know why I was directed to just the "Darkness" link before.. [strange]

[Violet]

.. oh, my love.. I just did THE terrible thing of.. well, of accidentally erasing the post I just wrote you.

.. it's terrible.. I can't get it back, but

.. well.. here's starting fresh, then.



.. one thing I was mentioning was the theme in your new album having to do with mortality.. only..

.. well, for me, personally.. I think of you as my springtime (!) And that has me realizing how young and vital the heart is.

.. but, I have to admit, though, I've been crying. I mean, I started contemplating death--your death.. and.. well, it's not anything I can think of right now. I once wrote you a poem that was in some manner trying to deal with it. It was quite a beautiful poem I thought, which I've posted a few times.. only now, I can't imagine even writing such a poem. I mean, the thought of your not being here is just untenable, my love. And.. well, even never having met you.. still.. I guess you've become this part of me, and.. well, I'm still in tears over it. It's just no good right now to think of these things. I mean, I seem to have no distance, at this point. I mean, yes.. I guess I can think of it in a "larger" sense.. but

But, you know.. it's not usually on my mind. You're this life force to me. Besides, you have many many scoops of chocolate ice cream you need to hand over to me.. starting very soon, my love. [you're already up to three, I think]

.. okay.. (to change the subject, in fact).. today, I decided I may try and imitate Sarah's scatting on her version of Birdland. I thought I'd take it apart, and do it just as she does it.. and.. well, once I have that down, I imagine I'll do more of my own thing to it.. but.. I thought it would be fun to learn. I've never really done that before, and she goes rather wild with it on Birdland.

.. you know, my darling, when I sing.. I so often think of you.. I think of singing to you. I guess.. when I'm not worried about all the things that are pressing down on me right now, I really am this fanciful and funny being. I do prefer things that way.. even if life is as serious as it is fanciful.. still.. in my own little v i o l e tish kingdom.. all such seriousness would be banished.

[at least for now, my angel]

.. okay.. I send you this lovely kiss.. x.. and yes, "you're spring to me," my love.. "all things to me"..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VPvvwJ3bRA0&feature=fvst
FULL SCREEN..

.. xx xxx .. xx xxx. xx x..

[mat james]

Perhaps Leonard would like to respond to you like this (song link below).
Perhaps he is a little shy, though

http://www.youtube.com/watch?NR=1&v=9Fi ... =endscreen

[Violet]

.. that's a lovely sentiment, Mat.. and set to one of Amy's renditions. I'm touched. [nice to see you here, too]


.. Leonard, my love.. I'm doing pretty well just now, considering half the day my eyes were still looking a bit swollen from all the weepiness I experienced last night. I guess it really is the sort of thing where I

well, it's best I just don't think about it. And I'm not usually like that, either. I usually like to look at the worst case scenario sort-of-thing, and just deal with it. But, when it comes to you, I would rather just shove this thing under the rug. At least for now. [my angel]

oh!.. I read the Times piece on you.. or.. well.. I read it until it started getting into the songs I've not yet listened to, so I'm putting the article aside until I've done that. [this has taken some discipline over all, given all the reviews that are posted here now, by the way]

.. still, from what I've "lightly" gathered thus far this album is a great critical success, my angel. As well it should be.

.. I do like the Times piece so far, even if you did mention the dreaded 'd' word.. which, as you know [now], I'm not handling too well at present. Of course, it's all our deadline, though.. I mean, I've gotten into some pretty close scrapes of late, which.. well.. it's just a reminder, I guess, that

alright. That's all I'm going to say about it.

I adore you, and that's all there is to it. End of story.

[sigh]

.. alright, my beloved. I'm terribly happy about your new album. And yes, I can handle "mortality" as a subject, I guess.. I just have to be careful not to let my mind wander in the wrong direction with it..

.. oh, and I excitedly checked my little country mailbox this weekend, hoping the CD might have arrived.. but.. not yet, my love.

.. anyway.. I'm gearing up to get this writing finished, even though it's not quite there yet.. and so I guess I'm not going to make my end-of-the-month deadline.. [there's that word again].. Anyway, I feel I won't be too far off.

.. meanwhile, on the singing front.. I really am still enjoying getting my voice up to speed. It can really lift my spirits too.. [up here on The Very End of It All Mountain].. [as I've just re-named it] .. so.. anyway.. I'm thinking that in a couple of weeks I might just bite that bullet, open mic wise.. .. and maybe I'll wear that black 50's cocktail dress, too--not that anyone will likely even be there at 11:30 on a Monday night!? My god.. there'll be two half-asleep drunks in the back, and a waiter staring at me with his arms folded, praying I'll just pack it in (!)

[that other kind of sigh]

of course, I do wonder why this rather classy joint should have an open mic at all. I mean, they must have SOME reason for having one.. so.. I guess that keeps me somewhat interested. I mean, maybe they really are looking for a singer for some reason. [maybe] And, to tell you the truth, if I could just overcome my, uh.. [okay, I won't even utter the words].. but if I could just overcome it, I really am sounding quite good on a lot of these numbers just now.. so

.. okay, my angel. Oh, I came upon this recording which I haven't heard before. It's funny, but I never really knew many of the lyrics from this song until I heard Sarah singing them in this rather "attenuated" version. I rather like them.. x.. (my angel)

oh, I forgot--I did make it out to our lake yesterday.. and the sun was this nearly blinding white light.. with the water nearly blinding too with the sun's reach towards me. And I was feeling just so good to be out there. Oh, and all was quite.. and as I rode along this particularly high part of the road.. where the houses are situated quite far below, and just beside the lake.. but it was from there that I heard these chimes, no doubt belonging to one of the rustic-looking lake houses. They weren't high pitched chimes.. but something deeper.. and slower, somehow. I'm tempted to mention those brass bells the Tibetans have.. the larger ones, maybe.. though maybe not. I don't quite know how to describe the sound.. but it was stark seeming.. lonely.. and in that, quite beautiful.. and I felt you would have thought so, too, my love.. (I miss you)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sbIiPbYF ... re=related
FULL SCREEN..

.. xx xxx .. xx xx x..

[Violet]

.. Leonard, my love.. my angel.. how are you?

.. so.. earlier this evening.. I got out my flashlight.. [as it gets so darn dark so darn early these days].. and I headed down the treacherous wooden stairs.. [since everything is covered in a thin layer of ice around here].. and I made it up to the little country mailbox, which is in front of the bigger house.. [you know, the haunted one].. [haunted by the ghost of Enrico Caruso, I think it is].. and I opened up the mailbox--only to find one lousy bill, and no CD of my beloved's.. [no CD]

.. okay, so.. lousy bill and flashlight in hand.. I walk down the hill of the street, turning into the yard.. [that's covered in ice].. and WHAM!!--I'm down on the ground, not even realizing what hit me. Or what I happened to hit, I guess.. which was obviously a slick patch of ice. Now, I hate to have to admit this, but this is the SECOND time this has happened to me this week! And now both my palms are scraped up--with one now raw and bleeding.

[troubled sigh]

.. you know, my love.. [as maybe you are beginning to notice].. just receiving your CD around here is a pretty hazardous affair. I'm hoping it all works out in the end, and that I actually make it back to ye ol' little carriage house with both me and the CD intact. [hoping]

.. well, at least I did some good work on the writing today.. added something I kept feeling was missing from this thing. I mean, I did realize that it was a major major piece of this whole thing, but.. I don't know.. I just never quite knew how to get it "in there." So, I'm relieved to have finally found a way to do that.

[sigh of relief] [as it happens]

.. oh, and I did get out to our lake again, which was far less treacherous than getting the mail. [it turns out] There was the same hot-white sun, which was low in the sky.. and yes, nearly blinding. Then strangely, on the way back, I suddenly had the uncanny feeling that I'd been traveling for days. I guess I just had so much on my mind. You, of course, are a part of all that.. but, I couldn't nearly recount all that I'd been thinking. I know I do wonder what will happen once I finish writing this thing.. hopefully in two weeks' time. [hopefully] But.. then I know I have to figure out what's next.. and..

well, I guess I'll see.

.. you know, I wish I understood why I have these little bouts of--I don't know, this "excited" feeling. It's strange, since--well, other than your CD arriving--I really have nothing to feel all that excited about. In fact, I could make a very good case to myself for feeling downright depressed.. and yet.. still.. lately.. I've had this feeling. [quite possibly I'm just losing my mind, my love].. [quite possibly]

.. oh.. somehow I came upon this in my youtube travels today, and.. well, I think of it as a belated celebratory-dance/nod to the PEN New England award you're to receive, my love.. given I've not mentioned it as yet.. (oh, and especially as you're to be in such good company)

.. but first, my tender kiss to you, my angel.. x.. (and my well-wishes.. and all my love)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Km1C-Xcp ... re=related
FULL SCREEN..

.. xx xx x.. x x.. xx x..

[Violet]

O L D I D E A S


.. my beloved.. I listened to your entire CD (!!).. and..

well, first

it was just today that the sun came out full force.. [finally].. and it was warm, and it melted the ice.. and yes, I found the CD in the little white mailbox!.. [and I didn't even have to scrape my palms again to do that]

[okay, I try not to say this so directly too often, but I love you]

.. okay, so.. I steeped my favorite tea.. and got together a piece of paper and a pen.. [in case I wanted to make note of something in particular].. and I had beside me your lovely CD pages.. [that are just so wonderful, with your notebooks and drawings.. just this secret-seeming little treasure trove].. and I lay on the couch, looking out the far window.. [where, yes.. the wind in the trees.. started talkin' in tongues.. [all thanks to you, my love].. and

.. well, I need to listen again.. but.. well, I admit I started even a bit teary-eyed.. [to hear again the first songs].. but, you know, I smiled just so much listening to this (!)



[a m e n].. a n y h o w.. [c o m e h e a l i n g]


I did make note that the instrumental sections of Amen were feeling to me like a dream now.. and that Anyhow is this..

okay, I'm actually re-writing this part, since I've been listening to this again, trying to get at--well, what it is, exactly.

Could you cut me one more slack?

is great. Feels like "jazz talk."

Actually, that's really what this song is. It's like the dirty, seedy side of bluesy jazz. [why my mother was prevented from being a singer by her mother] [too seedy, you see] [and my grandmother, being the wife of musician.. well.. she would have known all about it.]

.. you know, my love.. you are really something here. I mean, in insisting on the filth--of sex.. of the underside of blues.. 'n jazz. Even laying on that who's-to-blame slipperiness of..

.. both of us are guilty.. anyhow

.. I guess I say you're really something also since many would just as soon have you keep to the, uh, "higher chakras".. [shall we say].. at this point.. and here you are insisting on something that feels a bit like

.. "I'd like to see some dissipation in my face".. [you know, the kind of "dissipation" Eartha Kitt had sung about]

Sex and booze and bluesy jazz and jazz talk.. and double speak, since.. sex speaks with a forked tongue.. and, well, all isn't fair in love and war.. [as this song well knows].. but couldn't we just say it is?.. [as it also seems to plead]

.. actually, what's that line of yours?.. from which song now..

[have to look]


And none of us deserving
The cruelty or the grace


from Come Healing. My mind goes to the full spectrum of what it is to be human. All of it. Leaving out nothing.


.. actually, I've just come back to Anyhow.. [since this afternoon, when first I listened, and started writing this].. but yes, the cool, slow cadence of this song I'm really liking. [a lot]

.. it's somehow a bit less dirty seeming now.. [guess I'm already adapting]--although that

I'm naked and I'm filthy

makes no bones about it. It is just so naked and dirty. Though maybe the slow-blues cadence lets you get away with it a bit--given you're also in bed with a tradition here. [a tradition you can be a bit filthy in] [I mean, you're in good company]

oh, and okay: it is something of a turn on. .. .. [I wanted you to have to work for it somewhat, since you are quite obviously undeserving here] [as you well know].. [still, what's the besotted lover of a bluesy-jazzy Sex God supposed to do??.. pretend you didn't just talk dirty to me??.. how on earth am I supposed to do that?????]

.. gosh, I wonder how the "reviewers" did with this one.. [now I'm very curious, actually].. [I'll bet some of them are rather sheepish].. [I'll just bet]


You are a very interesting man.


[I don't know, I just needed to see that isolated like that for some reason]


.. oh, and if you think you're gonna scare me off with some filthy blues talk.. well.. you're gonna have to try a lot harder, my angel.. [a lot harder].. [give it your best shot, in other words].. [I mean, I'm ready if you are]

.. actually, truth is, you did do a pretty good job already.. [and yes, I do like it when you talk dirty to me].. [like you just did.. so smooth and sexy-like]..



[and not in a good way, I mean]


.. uhhhhhhh.. okay, then.

[sigh]


.. so.. [on a different note]..

[you know, it's a little bit hard to change the tone now, after that. Wait--what's that line of yours from Different Sides?.. oh:

But frankly I don't like your tone

although, actually.. I really do like your tone] [I like it a great deal, in fact].. [in fact, I'd like to be all alone with your tone].. [I'm afraid this is beginning to sound like phone sex]



OKAY.. [moving along here].. before I literally burst apart due to either some subatomic principle or something.. [lest we forget that theme].. or total and absolute filthy-frustrated desire.. [as per The Total and Absolute Filthy and Frustrated Desire Theory of 1942].. [which I think had something to do with Einstein.. the Blues.. and a far too brief vacation].. .. [pretty sure]



c r a z y t o l o v e y o u


my love, I had scribbled: her braids + her blouse all undone

[so lovely was it to me]

.. your voice is higher on this one, too.. I immediately thought of albums past.. [sweetly so]

actually.. [pardon me, you all].. but I can't quite get my mind off of

.. gee.. how'd you follow up Anyhow.. anyhow?.. (my love).. on the CD, I mean.

oh, Banjo!..

[later note: no, I was right the first time.. it was Crazy to Love You] [the follow-up, I mean]


.. okay.. let's see


crazy has places to hide in..


there's a sweetness to this song.. and that nice tactile reediness of the guitar strings.. open, and fragile.. as to fall apart to.. [so kindly to fall].. [kindly.. to bittersweet regret]

[you have me writing lines of poetry, my beloved]


.. had to be people I hated.. had to be no one at all


.. I like the terrain of this song.. so "deceptively sweet"..

.. the terrain of.. who it is we "become".. who we "are".. in terms of one another--a lover, specifically.

.. I mean, just what is it that we want from each other?.. what is it we need?.. or what is it we are asking each other to "be?".. [if anything at all].. [and just what part of ourselves is doing the asking?]

I'm tired of choosing desire
Been saved by a sweet fatigue
The gates of commitment unwired
And nobody trying to leave

.. it seems a kind of "plateau" is reached. Desire, left behind us.


.. as I listened to this whole album.. I was thinking of these.. well, crevasses.. deep crevasses in the psyche, I mean. I mention this further on, but this seems a good example.. conjuring as it does this deeper terrain that has its hold on us far more than we may like to acknowledge.


.. I'm old and the mirrors don't lie
But crazy has places to hide in
Deeper than any good-bye


.. I'm put in mind of Show Me the Place.. where you want your slave to go..

.. and in terms of that song, why is it that to be so bound to someone.. can feel somehow Divine?.. I assess such of this divine slavery like the finest of silk in my hands.. But what is it?.. Your eyes?.. The texture of your skin?.. Your smile?.. Your voice?..

.. all our ancestry?.. going all the way back to the sea?


no matter


.. I had to go crazy to love you.. you who were never the one.. whom I chased through the souvenir heartache.. her braids.. and her blouse.. all undone.



c o m e h e a l i n g


Oh! Banjo!.. oh, wait.. first: Come Healing.. I remember I felt to be taken in deeper when I didn't expect it, as if I was being drawn down--to where?.. [I'd have to listen again].. but these deeper layers surface, and take one in at moments throughout this album.. which is to say, my love.. you do render your own depths sometimes--when others are only able to "indicate" such as that.. and we are all indebted to you for it.


The Heart beneath is teaching
To the broken Heart above


.. funny, when I first heard these lines the thought of God's own broken heart sprang to mind.. only, then I thought.. well, just how far down does this "Heart beneath" go, exactly?

.. is it the soul?.. counseling our incarnate selves?.. (though it may still be of God in that)



b a n j o


.. oh, Banjo!.. I smiled and smiled, my angel!.. that.. broken banjo bobbing

you delight me!

[delight!]

[and you know how much I want to kiss you then]

and with that deep voice of yours that is itself slightly broken--and how it is you go just so lightly.. [oh, right: since it's bobbing atop the waves]

your voice in that is just so achingly charming I think my smile has expanded in size (!)..

oh, and then the song gets rather darker, though.. well, not enough to spoil the mood or anything.

.. I mean, it feels just this wonderful twangy-bluesy spiritual. Buoyant as death might even be.

yes, I guess it's a broken banjo bobbing on the dark infested sea..






l u l l a b y


.. okay.. time to.. sleep baby sleep..

[that you might sing to me just like that tonight].. [my dearest]


Well the mouse ate the crumb
Then the cat ate the crust
Now they've fallen in love
And they're talkin' in tongues


.. this is a bit of a diversion, but there's this bluesy-jazzy Maxine Brown song--quite obscure.. since [as opposed to bluesy-jazz] she's more early 60's pop R&B sound [which still sounds 50's].. but I have this old LP of hers.. and the song is just perfect for my voice, it turns out.. and it has lines that you've just reminded me of..


"Can't Find my Way Home".. [as sung by Maxine Brown]:

Even a cat
Has a place in the house
There's even a home
For the tiniest mouse
A wave has an ocean
To rest its white foam
But I'm all alone
Can't find my way home


.. you know, I'm so glad you've decided to let the blues in, my love. It was time.. and it's suiting you beautifully.


.. if your heart is torn I don't wonder why..


oh.. I just thought of that line from one of your notebooks: speak truth to the powerless.. [and, as per below.. here you are "calming" in this]


[thank you for this lovely lullaby, my love].. [thank you]



d i f f e r e n t s i d e s


.. you want to change the way I make love, but I want to leave it alone.. [another of your lines that's given to varied implication]

.. you want to live where the suffering is.. I want to get out of town.. [that Hamletesque predicament]

.. the pull of the moon the thrust of the sun.. [you make it look just so easy sometimes, my love]


I to my side call the meek and the mild
You to your side call the Word
By virtue of suffering I claim to have won
You claim to have never been heard


I'm again musing on who or what or how this "God" seems to be. A taskmaster somehow.. and.. similar to your.. "are your lessons done?".. [from lessons past].. it seems the answer is 'no.' One's 'wins' meet with a blank stare.


.. your notebook says:


this is the pen to calm the crazy master of your heart


.. the mind has been called a cul-de-sac. Our efforts fall on blind eyes, and deaf ears. What masters us is our deepest selves.. cells, even.. [okay, particles, then].. the world's sordid history so inscribed.


This is the pen


when in your hand is calming.. but even when it's not.. it culls the secrets of our hearts.



.. lastly, here, my love.. and then, to bed.. [as it's late, now].. but, you know, you've made me feel so many things today.. and I couldn't help but laugh a bit at the last two lines of

You want to live where the suffering is
I want to get out of town
C'mon baby, give me a kiss
Stop writing everything down


[my love: just say when]


x

[Violet]

.. my love, how are you?

.. yes, I'm afraid I haven't "stopped writing everything down" yet. I mean, I'd give you that kiss, if I could.. but.. well, for now, this is all I got. Have to make the best of it.

[sigh]

.. so.. anyhow.. (can't seem to get away from that word now).. I've been listening more to your CD.. and..

actually, first: I can't stay here long. I've been burning the midnight oil WAY too much lately.. both here, and just in terms of taking care of other stuff.. and I realized I'm going into that "no sleeping, no eating" mode that I have to be careful of. [it can sneak up on me sometimes].. so.. I need to get some zzzzzzzzzzz's, my angel.

.. oh, but what I wanted to say is.. well, I'm in this lovely place with your music.. your new album, that is.. where I'm feeling.. (ironically).. just so well fed. Very nicely taken care of.. in every department.. [even departments I hadn't really given that much thought to of late].. [you know, the more dirty ones]

.. of course, I have had some more thoughts on some of the other songs too.. [by the way.. lest you think I have a, uh, "one track mind"].. [which is fine by me if you want to think that, my angel.. you go right ahead].. [I won't stop you]

.. but, yeah.. the album's darknesses and unexpected buoyancies are percolating throughout my being just now.. so, I'll see what filters through.

alright, so.. need to get some zzzzzz's and get re-focused on finishing the writing. [all seems possible just now, even if I'm entirely sleep deprived]

.. so, here's my token kiss, my love.. x.. and.. oh, I did make it out to our lake today.. with Anyhow in my head, as it happens. It wasn't a bad match, actually. Of course, I was imagining us in one of those rustic little cabins by the water.. and

well, I think you can fill in the rest).. (I miss you, my angel.. just so much)..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nuBihDMK ... re=related
FULL SCREEN..

.. xx x.. xx x.. x xxx .. xxxx ..

[Violet]

.. how are you, my love?.. as usual, I'm missing you, and

.. but actually, you've made me just so happy with this album. It's this wonderful world that just keeps getting deeper and more satisfying, even though it was already those things.. and it's funny how much it makes me smile, too.. not discounting its dealing with mortality in some terribly moving ways.. but

well, I just like these myriad worlds you've brought together somehow. Not just within each song.. but in terms of the layout of the whole album. I mean, once I get to Come Healing.. having sort of recovered from, um, Anyway.. [through the lovely reedy guitar sieve of Crazy to Love You].. but, I mean.. suddenly, I feel thrust into "church" with the angelic tones, and "church hymnal" sense of Come Healing--and so, it's this amazing juxtaposition of worlds that's happening in that. I'm just getting more a sense of the lyrics, too, for that one.. their filtering through now..


.. actually, I have this post on my desktop, as sometimes I'll write something over time that way.. and just now a friend called me to tell me that someone we both know--a fairly well known artist, in fact--committed suicide. I only met this person once, maybe.. but I know his work. In any event, it was upsetting to my close friend.

.. and.. I don't know.. it had me feeling grateful that.. well.. that you are in some sense there for me, and for others here as well. You give us some way to maybe see our way through this mess we're all in down here.. both through your work, and in the manner of person you are. And that's what ran through my mind when hearing this bad news today.

.. so.. just to say.. thank you, my love. And I know your new album is giving a great deal to so many now.

.. okay.. need to see to some work. I'm still rather sleep deprived.. so it's a bit rough going at the moment.. [also.. I'd much rather live in the world of your album right now.. so I gotta extricate myself.. and re-enter this other place.. and you don't make that easy, my love].. [I guess I've got to put myself on "rations"]


oh, wait.. before I go. I don't know.. it seems your interest in the blues is having me look more into Billie Holiday now, which I feel is moving more towards real blues, even if it's categorized as jazz. That's actually a distinction that I'm curious about, and need to look into more.. my sense though, is that there's some cross-over.. which is why I'll sometimes term things "bluesy jazz".. instead of just jazz.

.. but just as you seem to say of the blues.. like so many who love her, I've always thought Billie's delivery terribly moving. Sarah is another aspect of song that will always be close to me.. but Billie is something else.. and.. I don't know.. given you.. (my love).. are allowing yourself "into the blues," as it were.. maybe it's encouraging me to look further in that direction as well.

I just analyzed rather closely how she was doing that last number of hers I posted.. [such a lovely song].. and it's rather subtle what she's doing with the melody. Sometimes I'll find I teach myself first through attempting to imitate what I feel to be the very best in something.. so to find myself in that as I'm doing it. I mean, I don't seek to "imitate".. but to learn through that.. so to understand something maybe.. and hopefully.. even as through my choosing those songs that move me in some way.. it really is to find something of myself.

.. so.. I'll see. It's a new dimension there. A real sorrowfulness. Though for me.. Sarah is still there too.. so it's a combination, maybe. I mean.. I find I'm getting more involved in music these days, not just because I've re-realized I have this voice to do so.. but because it lifts me up.. and in that, I'm finding a lightness.. where Billie is inside that sorrow so completely. She's untouchable, in that. Nor would I deign to be "like" her. And yet, she can teach me.. show me a way to such of those feelings in myself.

.. as to that last song I posted of hers.. well, to me.. I feel to be embracing you as I sing it. It creates this wonderful intimate and "knowing" space that exists between lovers. I guess I'm learning how song can be another form of love making.. [a lovely form]

.. okay, my love to you, my angel.. x.. (my precious love)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9NyR2ckZ ... re=related
FULL SCREEN..

.. xxx xx.. xx xx.. x x.. xx x..

[Violet]

NOTE: Given the following has a rather dramatic change in tone, I thought I'd place here a little "flagrantly flirting" warning.. [with the flirting also accompanied by this poster's extreme sleep deprivation, as I disclose in posts later on].. [oh, and in so speaking, the following is therefore all in good humor]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aFqjzrMV5jo
FULL SCREEN..

Frankly, Mr. Cohen, I don't like your tone. It's a bit filthy, don't you think?

[I am obviously still so fucked]

.. anyhow..

.. so, how are you, my love?.. what's goin' on?.. what shakes?.. actually.. [now that I'm into filthy-bluesy jazz talk].. I could see cuttin' you some of that slack right before breakfast, in fact. Yeah, I could see that happening.. [a lot]

oh, funny thing. I noticed that iTunes keeps track of how many times you listen--not just to an album, but each individual song.. and.. [okay, this is rather embarrassing].. but Anyhow is way ahead of the pack at this point. I mean, don't get me wrong, I love this entire album.. every nook and cranny of it, I love.. but.. uh

[it's a shame and it's a pity]

[oh, I love the "panting women" track, by the way].. [you could have hired me for that, actually]..

[that kind of sigh]

Okay, then. [my love] I'm obviously in that kind of mood. And I realize, if I'm ever going to get this writing done, I'm going to have to, once again, go atop my writerly tower, and start begging my crazy to quit.. [you know, you're good--real good].. ["begging my crazy"..

[sigh]

.. yeah, so.. some "tone" adjustments are in order, Mr. Cohen. And I'm sure that all of us here are hoping to see some improvement in this department on the next album.

[you know, I can't believe your "filthy" line is such a turn-on].. .. [I'm a little slow in these things, I guess.. but you're "enlightening" me, it seems].. [I don't know, "sermon on the mount" just popped into my head, which is probably highly inappropriate.. but then, check again, Mr. Cohen--uh, excuse me, "Reverend Cohen".. and maybe you can start to see just what sort of influence you are on your flock].. [I think maybe it's time you start thinking more seriously about that]..

[it's a shame and it's a pity]

.. Anyhow..

.. so.. yeah.. you seem to have only deepened my "enamoration" of you. [I had to fight for that word, by the way.. my auto-spelling thingy turned it into "enumeration"].. [so much for word inventing]

.. alright.. I may return here later.. but if I don't.. just know, my angel, that I'm trying to extricate myself from your highly hypnotic [and filthy] spell.. so that I can FOCUS on my friggin' writing--and finish this goddamn thing. [!!!!!!]

.. and then, I can give you that kiss.. [and stop writing everything down]

[taking a deep breath]

.. alright, my love. Keep your mind in the gutter. I suits you. [it really does, my angel].. [you know I wouldn't say that if I didn't think it was true]

.. my lovely kiss to you.. x.. (and I do hope all is well, my love).. (oh, and just one more kiss, 'cause I love you so.. x)..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aFqjzrMV5jo
FULL SCREEN..
.. xx xx .. xx x.. xxxx .. xx..


.. [okay, this is my third "later note": I put that "other" number twice.. leaving Billie's timeless number for another time].. [it just seemed right, I guess.. somehow].. [I mean, anyhow.. just seemed right]



edits: I decided to add the "flagrantly flirting" warning to the top of the post.

[Violet]

.. my beloved.. I can't believe I ended that last post with--actually, I can't believe that last post, period--but I can't believe I ended it with "keep your mind in the gutter." [!!] I mean, it's not that I wasn't being sincere.. [okay, humorously so].. since with Anyhow, you've demonstrated that you're something of a--

okay, I just deleted that.

what I was going to say is that I think I might have found a more, uh, "delicate" way of saying these things.. [my angel].. [my perfect perfect

.. anyway, I plead extreme sleep deprivation.

[okay, I also think that last post is rather funny.. if read in the right way, that this].. [I mean, it might feel a bit "abrupt" at first].. [I'm now realizing].. [after having just re-read it]

[sigh]

.. but, yeah.. this lack of sleep has been making me feel a bit wonky, I guess.. or "wanky," as the brits would have it.. [since their minds tend to reside in the gutter, as well].. [those that I know, at any rate].. [the ones around here, in other words]

.. so--oh. So, I've decided to enact my own executive order, as it were, and ban "Anyhow".. [as far as my, uh.. "partaking" of it goes].. until I finish my writing. I even "unchecked" it on my iTunes roster.. [as painful a thing as that was].. but.. seems necessary.

.. oh, by the way.. do you remember, my love.. (my angel).. (I miss you, by the way. And I do hope you can go easy on me right now.. you know, cut me one more slack, at least.. [given that last post, I mean]..

.. but yes, I'm missing you. And I'm just so tired, and

[I wish you could just hold me, my love]

.. actually, before I leave Anyhow.. [just for now, of course].. but before I do.. I wanted to say something as to the song's "mechanics," as it were.

.. I mean, you're doing that slow-paced song-speak just so expertly, and I can't imagine that that's entirely easy either. I especially noticed this line in this regard.. [and I'll try to emulate the breaks in cadence, as well]:

.. I've used up.. all my chances and you'll never take me back, but there.. ain't no harm in askin'.. could you.. cut me one more slack?

.. it's entirely satisfying to move through that with you.

.. I'd say too that.. well, even though I've been focusing on that, uh, "filthy" line.. your delivery throughout is.. uh.. you know.

[okay, I'm still so so so so so so fucked]..

.. oh, also: I wanted to mention too how much I'm liking Different Sides. I'm still taking it in, lyrics wise.. but.. it has your inimitable "Cohenesque" elements, that create a political/spiritual/entirely personal landscape.. couched in that strong backbeat, recalling your late 80's/90's sound and beat [I think it is, date wise].

.. you know, it does seem it's true--as to what you've said in interviews.. that your touring has in some manner reinvigorated you, and.. well, this song in particular came to mind for me in your saying that. To me it seems to say: "Leonard's back."

.. okay.. my love. Oh, and.. I don't know.. I don't feel to have studied all your lyrics yet, as to the whole album.. but I'd note again that your notebook's "speaking truth to the powerless".. has resonance throughout.

.. and even.. [as I also mentioned before].. in the lovely Lullaby you've given us.. which is so very soothing, and calming. I listened to it last night, in fact.. before going to bed. [just so lovely, my love.. so very sweet].. [xx]

As to your reflections on mortality.. I did have another thought on that. I wrote that post on Going Home after first hearing that song.. and while I somehow arrived at that "predicament," as I described it.. where I quoted Hamlet's "Our thoughts are ours, their ends.. none of our own".. I guess because I was feeling that.. well, just what was this "voice of God" prescribing, in fact? It seemed something of a "conundrum."

.. but.. well.. upon listening more.. maybe I feel it has to do with.. well, just letting go.. when it is time to do so. No longer being burdened with having to have a vision.. with "embodying" something, as to your greater purpose in the world..

.. only, as I've said before.. I'm

.. well..

.. I don't know, Leonard, my love. If you are there.. and if this writing of mine has meant anything to you.. well.. maybe it's because.. well.. surely lacking in "professionalism," as I plainly am.. but, in that, I really have come to you with just myself. And now.. well.. this is where it's so hard for me. This "mortality" issue as concerns you.. since.. as I said before.. I really have no distance on it, at this point.. and here again, I'm already in tears. So.. yes.. this song, in particular, is hard for me.. even as I find it terribly beautiful, and moving.

.. so.

.. I guess I'll leave things there, for now. I know I'll have more to say regarding these songs, as things occur to me.. but, for now I need to find a way to get re-focused on my work, even though it's rather difficult at present. But you are giving me just so much with this album, my love.. and

.. anyway.. my tender kiss to you, my angel.. x.. (that it may travel miles and miles to find you.. and

[let me see what I can find for you that might be lovely to listen to right now]

okay, here's our song, my love.. or, at least, one of them.. [I've been practicing it, too.. so, maybe some day

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vYoet7-q ... re=related
FULL SCREEN..

.. xx xx.. xx xxx. xx x.. x x..

[Violet]

.. my love, how are you?

.. I'm doing a bit better, having finally taken a nap today. [yes: a badly needed nap] My sleep got so messed up this week after my having stayed up all night one night, working on a deadline that I surely had plenty of time to deal with. But: no. I had to wait until the very last minute.. Now, I could blame the long-awaited arrival of your new CD, but I'm not so sure I can really do that. I think I just like taking things to the very edge sometimes. [seems like].. [hate to have to say it]

[sigh]

.. so, yeah.. ever since that all-nighter I've been rather "out of sorts" feeling.. [and I think we've all seen what's happened on this thread because of that]

[another sigh]

.. actually, my angel.. I did manage to re-enter the psychological space pertaining to the Agent Longing and Violet story.. so, things are looking up in that regard. The new material I had added is really working, too.. [which I was glad to see].. so.. yeah.. finally, it looks like I'm getting back on track with things.

.. now.. back on the "Anyhow" track.. [since, surely you didn't think I could evade that topic entirely].. [as surely you're beginning to understand with this].. but

oh: yeah. The writer from the Times, in referring to this song, mentioned that

.. "a rhythm was tapped on a fedora, a sound that Mr. Cohen and Mr. Leonard pondered."

.. what a visual detail. I really like that.

.. I also really like the instrumentation on this song. You've got some nice bluesy piano going.. [real nice].. oh, and the

kuh-chuh.. kuh-chuh.. kuh-chuh..

sound.

[is that some form of gourd percussion instrument?].. [or, no, the article says "lightly brushed drums"]..

[I should make reference to that sound in Agent Longing's bachelor pad, I'm just now realizing].. [it could really set the mood, I think]

.. oh, also: I just saw posted here a review of Old Ideas from something called The Big Issue.. with the headline:

STILL NAKED AND FILTHY

.. oh, and with it quoted as saying:

.. "many almost indecently intimate moments"..

.. of course, here the word "almost" becomes interesting to consider. I mean, what: is the writer implying these are not indecently intimate moments?

[what a mood spoiler]


[END: "Anyhow Report"].. [my latest in weekly installments]


.. alright, my angel.. just thought I'd check in with you, and say I'm getting back on track with things. Oh, as far as the "Blues" goes, though.. I've been giving it some thought this week.. I mean, as far as my moving in that direction myself, music wise.. and.. well, all sorts of images started crowding my [sleep deprived] brain..

.. yeah.. .. next thing you know, I'll be heavily into some serious-proof liquor [probably straight from the bottle, even].. oh, and suddenly I'll be smoking those hard core Euro cigs [non-filter].. [actually, maybe the Gitanes I'm having Violet and Agent Longing smoke].. oh, and I'll be hangin' out all hours in seedy-grimy blues dives.. [probably on the Lower East Side, I would imagine.. though maybe Haarlem has them again, too].. [or was that only jazz?].. [I really have to inform myself more on this blues/jazz distinction].. oh, and I mean, who knows?.. maybe I'll find I've developed a serious heroin habit or something.. [??]

..so.. yeah.. (my angel).. I was beginning to wonder what the implications of all of this are, given I seem to be hanging out more and more in the Billie Holiday section of youtube. [I mean, if that's not a "red flag".. then.. well

[actually, my grandmother may well have been right].. [I'm just beginning to realize].. [after having secretly resented her considerable curtailing of my mother's exceptional musical talents].. [but, yeah, in the end.. she may well have been right].. [it turns out]

.. anyway, my angel.. I think this number probably encapsulates some of my newly forming concerns:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fXBJ8Tz4Qik
FULL SCREEN..

A Pigfoot and a Bottle of Beer
written by Wesley 'Sox' Wilson

Up in Harlem every Saturday night
Where the highbrows get together
It's just too right
They all congregate and all night hop
And what they do is Ooh boppa da

Old Hanna Brown from way across town
Gets full of corn and starts
Bringing them down
And at the break of day
You can hear old Hanna say

Gimme me a pig foot and a bottle of beer
Send me a gate I don't care
I feel just like I want to clown
Give the piano player a drink
Because he's bringing me down

He's got rhythm yeah, when he stomps his feet
He sends me right off to sleep
Check all your razors and your guns
We're gonna be arrested when the wagon comes

Gimme a pigfoot and a bottle of beer
Send me cause I don't care
I want a pig foot and a bottle of gin
Send me Daddy move right in

I feel just like I want to shout
Give the piano player a drink
Because he's knocking me out
He's got rhythm when he stomps his feet
He moves me right off to sleep

Check all your razors and your guns
Do the Hucklebuck until the rising sun
Gimme a pig foot and a bottle of gin
Move me, 'cause I'm in my sin
Gimme a pig foot and a bottle of beer


.. so, yes, my love.. I think maybe you can see the sort of influence you are becoming on your sweet little Violet flower. But, I mean, I'm not so sure there's much to be done about it. I mean, this is the blues, after all.. so, may as well

Move me, 'cause I'm in my sin

sort of thing.

[love that line]

.. okay, I guess I should call it an early night. I miss you, my angel.. (you are always sweetly in my thoughts)..

.. maybe just one more song to go with my tender kiss good-night.. x.. (my love)

actually, as we've just lost Etta recently.. here's something of a tribute

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lMjaVkxnLpg
FULL SCREEN..

.. xx xxx .. xxx .x x.. xxx.. xx.. [kah-chuh.. kah-chuh.. kah-chuh

[Violet]

.. my love.. (my darling darling darling angel).. how are you?

.. I decided to add a "flagrantly flirting" warning to the top of that "Anyhow" post.. .. since that in fact was what I was doing [albeit in a state of extreme sleep deprivation].

.. oh, also.. I don't know.. I just have to do this for some reason.. [can't explain].. just need to see it this way..

.. [oh, and yes.. this would indicate that I'm not quite done with this].. [these things take time, I guess].. [it's rather like decompression, it seems]..

.. so..

Anyhow

[xylaphone, sounds like] [slow, cool 'n sexy]..

.. you know, it really is a pity.. the way you treat me now.. I know you can't forgive me, but forgive me.. anyhow... the ending got so ugly I even heard you say.. ya nevah evah loved me, but could'ya love me.. anyway?

[start: brushed drums].. [you know, the kah-chuh.. kah-chuh.. kah-chuh.. sound].. [then some bluesy piano]

.. I dreamed about you baby, you were wearin' half your dress.. I know ya have ta' hate me, but.. could you hate me less?.. I've used up.. all my chances, and you'll never take me back, but there.. ain't no harm in askin', could you.. cut me one more slack?

["women panting" track]

.. I'm naked and I'm filthy, and there's sweat upon my brow.. and both of us are guilty.. anyhow... have mercy on me baby, after all I did confess.. even though you have ta' hate me.. could'ya hate me less?

[w.p. track].. [organ.. 'n a real nice bluesy-piano interlude] [cool 'n sexy].. [then more w.p. track].. [oh, and "kah-chuh, kah-chuh" throughout]

.. it's a shame and it's a pity.. I know you can't forgive me.. the ending got so ugly.. ya' nevah evah loved me.. dreamed about you, baby.. I know you have to hate me.. I'm naked and I'm filthy.. both of us are guilty.. [w.p. track].. have mercy on me, baby..

[end]

.. okay, I'm not too sure what that did for me, but it had to be done. [it's like I'm "feelin' up a song" or something].. [although I wish I were fee

okay, I'm just not gonna go there. [but, I mean.. I'd settle for just a kiss, at this point.. my love].. [my angel].. [just a small, simple.. sweet little kiss].. [I mean, if it were between that.. and nothing]

[sigh]

.. you know, it occurs to me that what I've just done here flies in the face of my stopping this, uh, tendency I have of, uh, "writing everything down." I mean, this seems to be heading in the opposite direction, in fact. But, I mean..

[have mercy on me, baby]

[sigh]

[kah-chuh.. kah-chuh.. kah-chuh]

.. anyway, I wrote some good stuff today I think. And I'm sure I'm closing in on finishing those sections that need finishing. I'm just annoyed with the "nigglingness" of this process.. but.. it's my own fish fry, I guess.. so I really can't complain. [even though I still do]

[that other sort of sigh]

.. oh, I'm still totally groovin' to Different Sides. It's gaining on Anyhow, even. On my iTunes roster, I mean. [not really, but I need to save some face here]

.. but, yeah.. oh, and I find Different Sides to be quite sexy too. I'm not quite sure how you manage that, my love.. but you do.. [you really really really really do]

[yes: another sigh]

.. alright, I'm not going to make this a late night. You know, I'd sort of like to blame you for everything that's "wrong" with me right now.. [these days, I mean].. but, you also seem to be tied up with everything that's "right" with me these days, too.. so.. I guess this is another area where I can't complain. Just gotta keep everything movin' forward, I guess..

.. oh, I sang today, too. I'm finding it really hard though to hone in on just which songs to focus on, since there are just so many great songs in that bluesy-jazzy area, and just in the so-called American Songbook, as well. Just such great stuff, so how does one narrow all that down?

[not sure]

.. oh, I would just love to sing you

[may as well find it..

.. actually, here's my sweet and tender kiss, first.. x.. (my love, and my heart).. (my dearest)

oh, I keep forgetting.. there's no "unpolluted" Sarah version of this on youtube.. so, I thought this version rather sweet, and sad, and romantic.. (my angel).. (I miss you so)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V79zOPXl ... re=related
FULL SCREEN..

.. xx x.. xxx .xx .. xxx x.. xx..

[Violet]

.. my angel, how are you?

.. guess what song of yours was shimmering there inside of me today?.. Banjo, after having listened to your CD while in the shower this morning.. which is to say that even as I wasn't listening to it after that, it was still in the back of mind all day.. and in just the most lovely way.

Banjo

There's somethin' that I'm watchin'
Means a lot ta' me
[repeat]
It's a broken banjo bobbin'
On the dark infested sea
[repeat]
Don't know how it got there
Maybe taken by the wave
[Don't know how it got there
Probably taken by the wave]
Off of someone's shoulder
Or out of someone's grave
[repeat]
It's comin' for me darlin'
No matter where I go
[repeat]
It's duty is to harm me
My duty is to know
[repeat]
There's somethin' that I'm watchin'
Means a lot ta' me
[repeat]
It's a broken banjo bobbin'
On the dark infested sea
[repeat]

.. you know, my love.. you keep touching different parts of my heart, it seems, with these songs. I love your intonation on this.. such as your first go at "don't know how it got there".. where you emphasize that final 'r' sound. I don't know how you arrived at that, but it's charming me. [deeply]

.. I have to say again that, even as this is another song of yours speaking of mortality, it still somehow delights me, nonetheless. The instrumentation is superb.. [and I see Dino Soldo credited, except for Neil Larsen's coronet]

.. oh, I wanted say.. in response to someone here who was questioning the song's "simplicity".. and even comparing the song [not very favorably] to your very earliest songwriting.. well.. I just wanted to speak of what it is to borrow from a tradition, as it were.. which, in this case, feels to be a black spiritual. I mean, if anything should be looked at by way of comparison, it would be that category of song, and I think this song would not only hold up, but be seen as bringing something that is uniquely yours to it, as well. [I just thought of that last verse of yours in Tennessee Waltz.. it felt to belong there, even as it was unmistakably yours]

.. actually, my love.. I was thinking of this as I was riding my bike today, as I did make it out to our lake late this afternoon, as gloomy and cold as it was.. but I was thinking of the opening of the song

There's something that I'm watching
Means a lot to me

.. you know, right off the bat, hearing these lines was part of what delighted me. I think when one finds exactly what one wants to say, as this line does, it is a form of miracle almost.. since, as most writers come to understand, words can just as easily get in the way sometimes. And to me, this calls on the black spiritual tradition, and yet it has your own "knowing" mind on it.

.. I mentioned already the

broken banjo bobbing

which sounds exactly like what it is, which is also just this great happy circumstance, songwriting wise. And it's so entirely visual.. as is

Off of someone's shoulder
Or out of someone's grave

and so there's this storytelling aspect, which is terribly pleasing too.

then..

It's comin' for me darlin'
no matter where I go
It's duty is to harm me
my duty is to know

.. here my sense of "buoyancy" with all of this is rather challenged--just to hear the first line of this, even. There's this shift that happens tonally, and emotionally.. and I'm now unalterably sure as to what you're talking about.. [just as when the subtext gets revealed in a dramatic scene].. and.. well, as I said with regard to Coming Home, this news doesn't sit well with me, and it no doubt never will. But if I HAVE to consider such things, I will say this song's gentleness is comforting me as I do so.. and, as I said, it's even delighting me, and charming me, at times.

.. so, it's just a wonderful wonderful song, my love.. [oh, and with Sharon Robinson's wonderful voice as well throughout.. oh, and with that "ascendancy" at the end.. taking us up.. [freeing us]

so, yes, you've touched my heart in new ways somehow.. [as only you know how to do]


.. well, I'm off to Gotham tomorrow, so I guess I need to get some zzzzz's, my angel. I was doing some rather interesting research today, and.. well.. when you keep looking at the same area over and over again, you really do start to see things you might, in a more cursory fashion, miss completely. But.. yeah.. I've had my eyes opened quite a bit during the course of doing this writing.. oh--I also had a lucky break today. Don't know how I found this "insider" connection in terms of a name and profile, but I did.. and it's a real doozy. A REAL doozy.

.. you know, speaking of--well, what it is I'm writing.. I was going over in my mind today just what brought me to where I am just now.. and I was recalling that

wait, let me back up a sec.

Okay.. before I came to this forum, all I ever did internet wise was email, and research. That was about it. Then, at one point I decided to write something for a site that interested me, and it was a journalistic piece that was getting into, once again, some fairly "dicey" territory. But, what I felt at that time was.. I don't know.. alone, and entirely vulnerable. I felt that, if I continued with what could have turned into a very compelling series of articles, I would in no manner be "protected," as it were. I would be alone, and exposed, and vulnerable.

.. anyway, after that.. I somehow wound up here.. [and I honestly don't remember how that even happened].. [other than my loving your songwriting].. but, I don't recall how I found this place, even. ANYWAY.. I never had any intention of writing anything political here. But, when that started happening.. specifically with regard to Agent Longing and Violet's story.. well.. I reasoned that I would somehow be okay, because.. well, because you were there for me in some way. And I felt that, even if you didn't entirely agree with everything I was purporting, I felt you'd be open about it.. and.. I don't know.. I just felt "safe" somehow.. even if none of us are entirely safe. But, still.. you had me feeling at least somewhat "protected," when before I felt entirely alone in what I was doing.

.. and so I was recalling that today. And.. well, that does say a lot about you.. that I would feel that way.. that many here would. So.. I just wanted to say that.


.. alright, my love.. you are so dear to me.. x.. [and I will be thinking of you while in Gotham tomorrow].. [oh, gotta do another print-out of that thing, I guess].. [I wish we were meeting for tea..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rop4EpD2zqs
FULL SCREEN..

.. xx x.. xx x.. xx xxx..

[Violet]

.. oh, Leonard, my love.. when will I ever learn?.. I wrote you this lovely little love letter.. [not even that little].. and, I mean, I had such a nice day today to tell you about, too.. but.. well, I didn't copy it before I pushed the "preview" button, and I just lost the whole darn thing, since I was asked to "sign in" again (!)

.. so.. I shall wait until tomorrow, my angel, as I need some badly needed zzzzzzz's.

.. but there were times today when I felt you all through me. I'm not sure why that happens sometimes, but it's a terribly wonderful feeling.. even as it has me wanting you fairly badly.. but, even so..

[sigh]

.. oh, and.. well, just these "odd" happy happenstances happened.. and

[oh, I wish I hadn't just lost all that]

.. okay.. tomorrow, my love..

.. meantime.. my sweet and tender kiss.. x.. oh--today it was back to Different Sides.. [in my head, I mean].. which felt like the right "reinforcement" for the city. But.. I mean.. Old Ideas in its entirety is just such a wonderful album, my love.. my life is just that much better for having been listening to it.. with every song this rich place to linger inside.. (and it's never to entirely "know"' it.. always to be kept in its spell

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z0c8uTqamM0
FULL SCREEN..

.. xx xxx .. xx xxx. xx x.. xx..