Daddy's Little Princess.

[Violet]

.. my beloved.. I've been working so hard today.. and I love you just so very much. [I just thought I'd sneak that second part in there] I am just writing this brief note, as I am entirely done in. Need to catch up on some sleep.

Actually, I do confess to adding new material today [writing wise] that I hadn't anticipated, which is both deepening the case I'm making, yet frustrating me since I'm wanting to wrap this thing up.. so I'm still wrangling with things in that respect. Still, I put in some good hours.. so..


OCCUPYING THE OCCUPIEDS

.. MEANWHILE on the "Occupy" front, there's a great deal going on--in fact, I didn't realize that yesterday they had a:

Blockade of all Entry-Points to NYSE; hundreds participate in nonviolence civil disobedience. [as per the OWS website]

.. oh, also, I'm just reading about Occupy Tokyo, where there's a mainstream media black-out on the whole movement, which grew out of a grass roots anti-nuclear movement.. so things are heating up on that end of the planet, as well.

.. I would add as a last note on this, that my cat has started his own Occupy Couch initiative.. so, we'll just have to see how things develop with that. I'm mostly okay with it, as long as he moves over if there's a good old movie on or something. Usually I'm here at my desk, at any rate.. so.. don't know why he's felt the need to do this, actually. (silly cat)

(okay, that's me being silly, since, as I said, I'm tired.. need to go to beddie byes--obviously) (although my cat is occupying the couch, as we speak--quite languorously, in fact)


.. well, my love.. it's so very cold out, and it’s getting so dark so early that I didn’t make it to our lake today. But I was writing, too.. so.. Anyway, I miss going out there.. and contemplating things.. (you mostly).. so.. tomorrow, I hope. (my angel)

.. oh, also, singing wise.. I'm beginning to feel more confident somehow. I guess I never really took practicing as seriously as I've been doing of late, with a mind toward strengthening my voice, and feeling more comfortable and familiar with the various arrangements I'm trying. Oh, and I'm actually memorizing all the lyrics. [I used to be far more "sketchy" with them] So, I guess I'll see what happens on this front, as well.

.. as for a song to post for you tonight.. I thought I'd see how this singer does with this. [although I can't imagine anyone beating Sarah on this one] Anyway, this is definitely one of the songs that has me thinking of you, my love. But first, my tired little kiss.. x.. I do hope all is well.. (and yes, I miss you)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_GvbTSLb ... re=related
FULL SCREEN..

.. xx xxxxxxx x.. x x x... xx..

[Violet]

.. Leonard, my love.. I’ve been working on one of the more romantic sections.. and

.. actually, I think that’s all I should say about it. [it’s a bit rough going at the moment.. this wanting you]

.. okay.. somehow the following turned into a poem as I was writing this letter to you. Now, I know not to write a poem, and post it right away, and yet here I go again with that. I guess it’s the mood I’m in.. but here’s this letter as it turned into a poem..


.. oh, I did make it out to our lake today. It was rather cold out, but sunny.. and so the lake was glistening, and lovely.. and in that, my heart is just full of you.

.. you see? I guess I can’t put aside how much I want you

it’s like painting the most perfect cloud. My hands are either finding you perfect, or are making you so.. the way it is that love and love’s desire know to do this.

when was it before I met you?


x

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eFRsgGF80To
FULL SCREEN..

.. xx x.. xxx xxx.. xx x x..

[Violet]

.. Leonard, my love, how are you? I’m a bit wiped out, as I somehow wound up writing again last night ‘til past two a.m.. although I think I might have come up with a few interesting details. [sometimes staying up late does that]

.. I know I've mentioned this before, but I really feel to be the shaman in what I’ve been doing these days. I feel that in this section of the story especially I’m going rather deeply inside the culture’s deep seated wounds, as it were.. although, not just for the sake of doing so, but to bring—well, I hope, something substantial to light, and in a way that serves some purpose. I do keep adding layers, but I think it’s necessary, and in that sense I’m not too disgruntled as to the additional time it's taking. [on the other hand, I’m always disgruntled at this point given the time this is taking]

.. but story wise.. I guess I’m feeling that.. well, yes: information is available ad infinitum these days, especially with what's being offered—both good and bad—via the internet..

.. but I’m thinking that in bringing these various strands together through a romantic tale like this.. well, then it’s to have such ideas in some manner come to life.. even as the characters themselves are involved in this “research” as well. So, hopefully, I'm creating this compelling way to get at these ideas.. and in that, I feel somehow—dare I say it: optimistic.. as to this possibly having a degree of merit. [hopefully].. [we'll see]

.. actually, I’m not exactly sure why this has been so time consuming to write, but it may have something to do with working with real data, and also, attempting to arrive at ideas extemporaneously, through conversation. Of course, I did have to revise this section, once I learned of that "libel" issue, which may still have me revising things later on, as well.. so.. anyway, it's been a real challenge, all told.. no way around that.

[sigh]

.. okay, well.. meanwhile on the Occupy front.. [of course, there’s a great deal more going on, but these items caught my eye at the OWS site]:

[Egypt Rising Against Military Rule. Security Forces Descend on Tahrir Square]
Posted 9 hours ago on Nov. 20, 2011, 12:04 p.m. EST

Occupy Oakland Calls for TOTAL WEST COAST PORT SHUTDOWN ON 12/12
Posted 1 day ago on Nov. 19, 2011, 8:35 p.m. EST by OccupyWallSt

Proposal for a Coordinated West Coast Port Shutdown, Passed With Unanimous Consensus by vote of the Occupy Oakland General Assembly 11/18/2012:

In response to coordinated attacks on the occupations and attacks on workers across the nation:

Occupy Oakland calls for the blockade and disruption of the economic apparatus of the 1% with a coordinated shutdown of ports on the entire West Coast on December 12th. The 1% has disrupted the lives of longshoremen and port truckers and the workers who create their wealth, just as coordinated nationwide police attacks have turned our cities into battlegrounds in an effort to disrupt our Occupy movement.


.. [and, as for my cat]: he has moved now to his favorite wicker chair, which has a nice cushion on it.. so.. seems he’s changed his "Occupy Couch" tune, even without my say so. [go figure]


.. and last of all.. (my love).. I did make it to our lake again today, and it was quite a bit warmer this time. I saw a lovely blazing sunset over the water, too, and managed to make it back before its getting too dark.

.. actually, though.. I thought I'd mention something that happened during yesterday's ride that I neglected to go into before, since I didn’t want to ruin the otherwise romantic mood I was in. [and actually, it’s rather remarkable that this didn't spoil that mood—for the rest of the day, in fact.. but.. no, it didn’t, somehow]

.. anyway, yesterday—okay, the thing is, I’m experiencing a slight problem with my bike. The gears have been a bit funky ever since the chain came off a while back, since.. well, somehow.. after my getting the chain back on.. well, somehow the gears were just never quite right after that.

.. so.. ANYWAY.. as I was riding yesterday, the gears were slipping from high to low, or low to high.. [I’m always confusing the two].. but they were slipping all on their own—unless I kept my hand on the shift lever [if that’s what it’s called] which gets a bit tedious.. and—okay, somehow the gear jammed, and the bike sort of jerked just enough for me to have to jump down, with my legs straddling.. you know, the bar that goes across the bike.. only

[sigh]

yeah: that's right. I came down hard on that bar there.. [you know, right between the legs].. and boy did that hurt like a

[you know what]

My God. It really really really really hurt.. (my love).. although nothing like when I smashed my shin on that antique trunk. [and yes, I'm still sporting some deep purple markings on my shin, which I imagine will be there for quite a while yet.. but, at least I.F. said that it was some manner of battle wound, given the kind of research and writing I’ve been attempting.. so.. there’s at least a more valiant way to look at that particular mishap, and its remaining "battle scar"]

.. anyway, I did get wounded yesterday, I'm afraid, and.. well, I’m sure I’ll be fine.. but.. it did sort of interrupt that otherwise very lovely and romantic ride I was having at our picturesque little lake, my love.. (although, again, not enough to deter me from writing a rather inspired little love poem, I thought)

.. so.. gosh.. this turned into a longer post than anticipated. Anyway, I do miss you, my love.. and wonder how things are in your part of the world, and what you may be up to, etc.. Along with other forum members here, I look forward to seeing your press release this week as to your new CD.. and am excited to see what the new song titles will sound like.

.. maybe you can send some good thoughts my way, my love, that I may finally get through this interminable trial I'm going through with this writing. (I certainly am giving it my all)

.. so, all my love to you in this little kiss, tired though it may be.. x..

.. oh, and as to this version of this song, I much prefer yours.. (my angel).. still, it's.. well, it's our song, I think.. and so Frank's attempt will have to do.. (oh, and I'm still enjoying practicing it) (and am always singing it to you when I do)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wxMeu34o_jQ&NR=1
FULL SCREEN..

.. xx x.. xxx xx.. xxx x xxx x..

[Violet]

.. Leonard, my love.. I've been writing, etc.. today.. and I feel good about how it's going.. I know I'm getting much closer to finishing this part of it.. but

.. I don't know why, but I sometimes feel that if I come here with my troubles, I can somehow find some relief. I'm not sure if that's so. But, it's been a strange few days concerning my twin brother.. [to those new to this thread, he's the brother who suffers from mental illness].. but, I was in the city so early last Thursday, and I didn't realize he tried to contact me that day, and apparently he left messages up here, which I've only just retrieved. Anyway, I started noticing he wasn't calling me, as he usually does on a daily basis.. and.. I thought maybe it was that he has this new friend he mentioned, and.. well, I thought that maybe that's what was occupying his time, and thoughts, etc.. only, today, I finally reached him.. and he was very harsh with me, and irrational sounding.. and he even hung up the phone on me, even as I was telling him he was hurting me.

.. I did contact the psychiatrist's office at the place of his residence, and the person I spoke to is going to talk to him, and get back to me.. so, I believe that's all that can be done, as my brother won't answer his phone now.

.. I am so swept up in writing this thing, and so now I see how maybe I should have been being more attentive to what might have been going on with my brother. It's so hard, though, sometimes. I mean, one doesn't know what might happen with such an illness. I feel he needs me very much, and so, it would be terrible for him, and for me, should he keep on this track he's going on with this.

.. so.. nothing to do but wait and see.

.. it's Thanksgiving, too.. and I thought he'd be up here with me.. but now I'm not so sure.. so..

.. okay, well.. I'm trying not to cry, but I've already been crying. It's just this helpless feeling. It's like someone is "trapped" in their illness, and there's little one can do who is on the outside.. and then there's all the blame.. all the self blame that befalls me sometimes.. and so, I'm here crying.. because I feel I could have done better by him.

.. so..

.. I guess I'll try to go to our lake, my love.. as that sometimes helps me. Thank you if you're there for me..

.. and all my love in a kiss.. x

[Violet]

.. Leonard, my love.. I just saw the song titles for Old Ideas, and it's pretty exciting. I like the cover too. [very much]

.. I thought I'd write again, as I was so undone before. I went to our lake, and it was peaceful, and healing feeling.. so.. that was good.

.. my brother--according to the person I spoke to, and who called me back after speaking with him--does not want to talk to me right now.. so.. I don't know when I'll likely hear from him. We are so very close, I can't imagine he'd let this go on for too long.. but.. I honestly don't know.

.. but, anyway, having had a good cry has me feeling calm now, somehow. I feel I can wait.. wait until he decides to call.

.. with Thanksgiving coming, I still feel I have a lot to be grateful for. And I do feel something in the wind, somehow.. though I can't even name it.

.. so, my love.. I just thought I'd stop in to say that I'm okay.. and that I'm so excited to hear the new album.. ['album' is a much nicer term, I find, than CD].. so.. something else to wait for. I do hope all is well..

.. my kiss, and all my love.. x

[Violet]

.. my love, I couldn't sleep this morning.. I've been writing, and then I thought to order your CD.. and so I was able to listen to Show Me the Place.

.. it's very much a spiritual, and was entirely moving to listen to. Simple, too, and open feeling.. and somehow terribly sad--though, maybe not.. not entirely. Hopeful, yet resigned.

.. I couldn't sleep, feeling my heart is hurting in I don't know how many ways. I know it's somehow wrong of me to lean on you, when we've not even met.. when I'm just this stranger, maybe. When I think of things in that way it saddens me even more. I guess I

.. well, the day I felt like crying.. it's that..

[sigh]

[you know I'm really sighing when I write these sighs]

.. but.. it was that.. in writing what I'm writing, and in writing these little love notes to you.. I suppose I've been foolish enough to believe I'm in some way "protected".. I mean, in the sense that a part of me feels that no matter what happens, I will be okay.. I will land on my feet.. since, what other choice do I have?.. And while a part of me still believes that.. there's this other part.. the part that wanted to cry the other day.. the part that got just a glimpse of what it would be to be without you.. even without you, as through these little love notes I've been writing.. and I saw how painful that was.. I saw that maybe I'm not protected at all.. that there's no protecting one's heart.. and so.. I was wrong, maybe, in that I'm even more vulnerable here with what I'm doing than I wanted to tell myself I was.. and maybe that's also why I couldn't stop writing these little love notes those times I said I should.. because.. because underneath it all, I knew I wasn't protected.. I knew I was this slave you speak of in your song.. not sure of where to go.

[imaginary friend]

Dear Violet,

We are all slaves, one way or another, as long as we are in this life.

Continue to be brave, Little Violet-slave

XO

[Violet]

.. you know what's funny, I.F.. this evening as I was preparing some dinner it flashed across my mind: I.F. is going to leave a message on this thread tonight. Then I sort of forgot about it, until I saw in my email that someone had posted on this thread and I just KNEW it was you. [??].. so.. I guess that was a psychic moment I had earlier on.

.. thank you for your words of encouragement, I.F., it means a great deal to me. [and I know how brave you are as well].. [xx]..


"OCCUPY EARTH"

.. as to this Occupy situation.. I thought I'd post this..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n2-T6ox_ ... r_embedded
FULL SCREEN..

.. you know, given how Occupy Wall Street has managed to ignite such sentiments nation and world wide, I'm very curious as to just how those in power are going to respond.. I mean.. aren't they, uh, **cked? [as it were]..

.. I guess we'll see. But I have the feeling that we're all "off script" now, since dealing with such a mass uprising was probably not on the Man's list of "things to do" right now. [just have that feeling]

.. now, I'm sure the dudes at the top are all scrambling to figure out some kind of hideous solution to it all.. and they do have a lot of resources, remember.. so.. best to keep that in mind. Still.. I can't imagine they aren't being given a REAL run for the money with all of this.. and so, yes, we are indeed living in interesting times.


.. Leonard, my love.. I'm feeling a bit better I think than I was earlier. It's been a rough couple of days.. but I'm holding fast.

.. I've listened to your song at various times throughout the day, and it's been somehow nurturing me.. then I thought to see what others here had to say about it, and thought I'd borrow this [and thank you Stamatina and Maarten, and I do hope it's okay I quoted you both]:

[LATER NOTE]: before getting to that, here are the lyrics to Show Me The Place, as per "rpan," a poster here--oh, and thus the conversation about "particles and waves"]:

SHOW ME THE PLACE

Show me the place where you want your slave to go
Show me the place I’ve forgotten I don’t know
Show me the place for my head is bending low
Show me the place where you want your slave to go
Show me the place help me roll away the stone
Show me the place I can’t move this thing alone
Show me the place where the Word became a man
Show me the place where the suffering began

The troubles came I saved what I could save
A thread of light a particle a wave
But there were chains so I hastened to behave
There were chains so I loved you like a slave

Show me the place where you want your slave to go
Show me the place I’ve forgotten I don’t know
Show me the place for my head is bent and low
Show me the place where you want your slave to go

The troubles came I saved what I could save
A thread of light a particle a wave
But there were chains so I hastened to behave
There were chains so I loved you like a slave

Show me the place
Show me the place
Show me the place

Show me the place help me roll away the stone
Show me the place I can’t move this thing alone
Show me the place where the Word became a man
Show me the place where the suffering began


Leonard Cohen, from "Old Ideas"


oh, and here's the link to the song, itself:

http://www.leonardcohen.com/us/oldideas

Funny to see that the old discussion on the wave-particle duality of light has found its way to the Leonard Cohen Forum! I'm sure Einstein, Newton, Huygens and so many other great scientists would have loved it.

(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wave%E2%80 ... le_duality)

Maarten

thanks for that, Maarten!
the double nature of particles was part of a project I did last year for physics - and if I wasn't happy enough about it before, I am now!

What I found last year, in simple words, is that atoms and subatomic particles are not just particles, but they are particles and waves at the same time. Pure art (and a hell to understand, too). Because, what did F. Scott Fitzgerald say? "An artist is someone who can hold two opposing viewpoints and still remain fully functional."

And though we cannot blame Leonard for being two-faced, we can certainly praise him for balancing light and darkness in his music all these years and for showing us how to do it as well. Show Me The Place is another beautiful example of this balance...

I love it.

[emphasis mine]

.. I first wanted to thank F. Scott Fitzgerald for saying that. It has me feeling saner already.

.. secondly, my love.. to go with this aspect of your lyrics (it turns out), such manner of physics may also make its way into the story I'm writing. Not in this segment though.. oh, and don't worry.. I don't plan on having to become a physicist in order to finish this (!).. (I actually do realize that would be a bit too ambitious, I think).. but, yes, this "wave" idea especially has come up in my research.. so.. we shall see.

.. last of all, my love.. I'm glad I'm doing this music thing. I forced myself to sing a bit today, even though I was hardly in the mood.. but it did lift my spirits.

.. anyway.. for the time being, at least.. I can't help but adore you. It's just the way things are with me. Oh, and while on that topic, the song that definitely has me thinking of you.. and seems to really suit my voice is

.. well, first, I send you again my tender little kiss.. x.. (and thank you, my love, for being there for me.. and for your moving song)..

.. as to the other song I mentioned.. it's Too Marvelous for Words, written by Johnny Mercer [actually, I need to add here Richard Whiting, who may even deserve first credit].. but what first grabbed me about it was the lyric:

.. "you're much too much.. and just too very very"..

I just loved that there were no adjectives there.. (which somehow makes it all the more fun to sing)

oh--I found the movie version of this, which I've never seen before--it's pretty silly, but also quite fun, I think.. (just love the Busby Berkeley typewriter bit).. (my take on this song, by the way, uses Diana Krall's arrangement and injects it with a bit more.. oh, I know.. "particles and waves," let's say--or are they the same thing??).. (I love you, my angel)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ot1WAkpQ ... re=related
sorry this isn't the best resolution.. so.. maybe don't go FULL SCREEN with it this time..

.. xx xx xxx xx.. x x x.. xx x..

[Violet]

.. Leonard, my love, my angel.. how are you?

.. I've been toiling away, yet again.. and yes, I'm adding new material too, even though I said I would only do that in the two spots where I felt I had the need to.. but.. it can't be helped, I guess.

.. oh, I did want to mention: it's in the back of my mind that once I finish this next section, since it's getting pretty involved and long.. that.. I don't know.. the way it ends could mean I could end what I would think of as Part I of this tale. I mean, this story could call for two separate parts, to be handled in that way.. in which case, I'd only be looking at putting together what I have, and smoothing out the rough edges, and I'd actually be done with this--well.. I don't know--book, though I'd hardly call it a novel, and it's not a screenplay, either.. [thank God, since they're useless to me].. and so it's.. it's something in between. [a new form, no doubt]

.. anyway, that's what's in the back of my mind, as a way of getting something completed, and maybe even testing whether there might be a readership for this.. one who would welcome a Part II, then.

.. I would also ask for your comments and/or advise.. especially as to this last segment. [especially] [oh, and there's that matter of the chocolate ice cream cone, too.. but maybe when the weather warms up a bit.. although we could have snow cones*].. [I guess we'll see]

.. so.. given it's Thanksgiving, I thought I'd offer my "summer upper" for now on all of this. I mean, I may change my mind, and just forge ahead to the bitter end.. but.. I'll see. See how this all looks together.

.. so, my love.. what else?

.. I didn't make it to our lake these past two days, due to inclement weather. It's been just awful up here. The air is pea soup, and it's cold. Oh, and anyway, I've been working straight through.. so..

.. I guess that's really about it for now. I'll be here tomorrow to wish you a Happy Thanksgiving, my angel.. [and to everyone else here, as well].. I keep listening to your song.. .. and am quite taken by it. You know, there's a vulnerability in your voice that's terribly moving.

.. so, my love to you, again, my angel.. all in a kiss.. x

.. (okay, let's see how Frank does with this one)..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8TtMHUJeiSc
FULL SCREEN..

.. (it seems he got lost amid those columns).. (early t.v. is sort of fun for stuff like that)..

.. xx xxxx xx xx.. xx x x x.. xx xxx xx x..


* I probably meant "sno-cones?".. not sure.. though I like the "snow" connotation.

[Violet]

NORTH OF GOTHAM THANKSGIVING NOTES

.. Happy Thanksgiving to all here--I hope you are spending it with loved ones, and are happily well fed, and well.

.. and.. to my beloved: I do hope you had/and are having a wonderful day today, with friends and family all around.

.. it's been beautiful weather up here--cold, but sunny, and our lake was that glorious deep blue--like the ocean in the bright of day. Oh, and I met a lot of people who were out for their post-holiday meal walk, and we all exchanged Thanksgiving day greetings.

.. I, myself, had a lovely meal and am sipping now something called Petite Liqueur [Moet & Chandon].. and it's chilled, and quite lovely. [it's really hitting the spot] I haven't had anything to drink in a long while now, so it's rather a nice change. I can't say I'm much of a "liqueur" person, either.. but this one is especially nice.. and the small, deep-green flask of a bottle is quite nice too.

.. as to things to be thankful for.. I've been thinking about that and, well, here's my little list:

1. Okay, maybe it's all wrong that I should have this first, but I'm terribly grateful for youtube. (!) I can't tell you how much great stuff I found there. I even found this "Aussie" voice coach I'm going to try--and it's for free.. [can't beat that];

2. .. speaking of.. (my love).. I'm thankful that I (like yourself) have a golden voice. [especially when I practice, and am well rested] Now, not everyone has this, and so it's good to remember that sometimes, and not take it for granted;

3. .. I'm thankful for all those souls braving the cold weather and the pepper spray and the police sticks.. and standing up for us all. I really had not seen this coming, and it renews my hope in the human spirit, as well as human resourcefulness;

4. .. okay, I'm thankful for chocolate.. (enough said on that);

5. .. oh, that's right.. I'm thankful for my health--and, given I spent years struggling with poor health--I never take this for granted. Still, it's good I think to renew my thanks;

6. .. I'm grateful for all the goodness in those around me--and all the beauty, too.. in the forests.. and our lake.. (my love).. and the wild turkeys I see up here.. and the many many [many] deer.. (including some very sweet fawns);

7. .. and last of all, my angel.. I'm thankful for you.. for all that you've brought to us here.. and for all that you mean to me, and have meant to me for years now.. ever since I first heard that golden voice of yours. I feel we are all blessed just knowing your work, and in partaking of your beautiful humanity through all that you are.

.. and now.. (speaking of waves and particles).. oh, but first.. my most lingering and tender kiss to you, my love, on this Thanksgiving Day.. x.. that it may find you pleasingly full, and content, and well.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PVvBbfkGmZ8
FULL SCREEN..

.. xx xxx .. xx x x... x xx.. x x..

[Violet]

.. my love, how are you?.. I waited too long to go to our lake today, lest I’d be riding home in darkness.. and so, I opted instead on the lake that’s closer—the one that this house belongs to, but which has no road going entirely around it. I actually took this little run twice this evening, since it’s such a quick little ride as compared to my usual run.. but, anyway, there’s this one section of road where there’s a clearing, and just the most stunning view of the lake, which is always open, and expansive feeling from that spot.. and as it was sunset, the lake was mutedly reflecting the most startling sky, with near salmon-colored clouds that were seemingly lit from within, giving them a warm golden hue.. and as against a clear blue sky that was something between turquoise and ultramarine—oh, and with the dark silhouette of tall pines perfectly framing this truly splendorous, yet somehow sweetly sleepy seeming scene.. (and you were there, my love—with me.. as I slowed to gaze upon it)


.. actually, last night I was working on this little appraisal of sorts [below] of the beautiful lithograph you did to go with your new album, and so I thought I’d post such of my thoughts.

.. but first, I just had to mention that that liqueur I had last night—well, it was just so tasty and nice, I thought I’d see if I could order more. It was something I acquired when someone was moving, so it wasn’t a real gift, you could say.. just something I wound up with.

.. well, as it turns out, Moet & Chandon hasn’t made this liqueur since the early nineties, even though those that like it really like it—so much so, someone is asking $250 for it on Ebay (!).. wow—no wonder I enjoyed it. [??] And, apparently, it used to have more of a sparkle to it, but it’s fine without.. and the bottle recommends you chill it, which really complements it quite wonderfully. Some people, though, find that at this late date it has gone bad, given the cork sometimes disintegrates.. so, I lucked out there. Oh, and people are even selling the little green bottles on Ebay (!).. so.. here’s something else to be thankful for: a very nice post dinner drink, far nicer than I knew.. even though, fortunately [given I’m a creature of extremely good taste], I enjoyed it thoroughly (!)

.. okay, I’ll send my little kiss to you now, my angel.. x.. (I miss you)


.. as to my thoughts on that litho..

“.. there is nothing either good nor bad, but thinking makes it so.”
[Hamlet]

I don’t know why that quote sprang to mind, exactly.. but maybe I’ll find out.

.. I love how tactile this image is in its modeling, its figures portraying that theme of sexuality and death, with the sensual beauty of the woman astride what looks to be some manner of scull. [maybe the scull is what reminded me of Hamlet—and this figure, too, seems to be contemplating the scull—just as Hamlet does—and in that she attempts to fathom death’s meaning] I think too of the proximity of the scull pictured here to that place whence we come: our mothers’ bodies, and that portal they grant us through birth to the outside world; there is also the association to that “feminine,” which is the earth itself.. the universe, even.. larger than us in its scope, and Unknowable in that.

.. but.. (back on the ground)..

.. there is a softness to flesh, and we all wear flesh.. and there is a hardness and skeletal structure to that on which flesh is hung; we all know strengths, and weaknesses.. and most of us weep.. or would, if we could only allow ourselves to. And while I love the differences in the sexes, it’s more in the way of a dance, with the man and woman’s bodies able to do what each body seems designed to do.. and, as the dance allows, there is difference, and distance.. and then coming together again—entwined, and even inseparable, at times.

I’m thinking too.. [and this may be outside the scope of this image, in fact.. but maybe I'll just go with it, anyway].. but I'm thinking of that idea that in severing woman, or the feminine, from that central place in culture—that place of profound nurturance—we all do suffer. We were formed inside a womb, and a loving childhood is a womb, as well.. a place where we are nourished and protected.. and where it’s safe to grow. That such safety may be shattered.. that culture invades the sanctity of that womb in harsh and coldly indifferent ways—ways both apparent, and not—inflicts on us a deep, collective wound.

As per above, I don’t know how I've ended just here, exactly. I do “feel” things sometimes, which isn’t quite the same as thinking them.. and then I go to write of such feelings.. and in that way try to discern my own thoughts.

.. but such of my feelings and thoughts arose and developed from looking at this.. (my love).. and while the theme you've chosen acknowledges the life cycle, and in that, the inevitability of death.. there is too your sensitivity of sensual line, and tactile “touch,” which feels to be a kind of healing..

.. as there is nothing either good nor bad, but thinking—or is it your touch, here.. that makes it so.


x

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NGorjBVa ... a0K1unYjvY
FULL SCREEN..

.. xx x xxx x x.. xx xx.. xx x x..

[Violet]

.. my beloved, I couldn't sleep this morning.. I was awake in bed for I don't know how long. I do hope you, yourself, are well.. and I wish so much I could kiss you.

.. it's that I'm hurting, given my brother is not calling me. I guess this taps on really the deepest wound I have, and so it's not surprising then that this should be weighing on me.

.. there is this.. well, "thing" about twins. Is it okay that I survive, and thrive, even.. when my twin cannot? Can I still be "okay," and not feel to be a bad person in this?

.. rationally, it's maybe easy to answer such questions.. but there is that subterranean world that seems to take its cues from the stars.. and so, nothing is as easy as it seems.

.. I had a friend once who is an artist, and who told me this story about the twins she once knew. She was very close to one of them.. the one who was "well".. the one who wound up a successful photographer in Italy.. while her twin sister remained here, and was not getting on too well. Then one day, the sister who remained here committed suicide, and the family asked my friend if she would be the one to travel to Italy to tell this woman what had happened with her sister. It's extraordinary to me, of course, that the parents wouldn't do this themselves.. but.. my friend was maybe too young to know better, and to tell them it really wasn't her place. Or, at least that's how I view things.

.. anyway, my friend flew to Italy, and went to her friend's apartment. I'm thinking it was Rome.. and a lovely place, as well. And my friend told her what had happened.. and

.. well, this woman had all of her photography equipment laid out on this long table.. all her lenses, and camera bodies, and flashes.. and film.. all carefully laid out for her to use. And, after my friend told her what had happened with her sister, this woman--this successful photographer--exclaimed: "I knew it!".. and in one fell swoop, she took the side of her arm and she violently swept it across the entire length of this table, as all the photo equipment fell and shattered upon the floor.

It was years since that had happened.. when my friend was telling me of this.. and she said that this woman had never taken another photograph since.

.. I feel I've gone through too much to allow this dynamic to take hold. Still, I feel the pressure of it somehow. Is my brother, unconsciously, testing me, even.. with what he's doing?.. He sees I'm not defeated.. he sees me making new attempts in all sorts of ways so to keep going, and to even thrive, maybe.. and I know, if he is testing me.. it's his pain that is doing so. This insurmountable pain, that can just explode and destroy.. when really it needs to be disengaged, the way one does with a live bomb on a timer.

.. only, I don't know how to disengage it. I can only think that if there is some manner of God.. something out there that seeks to have us do well, and to have us in some manner prevail.. that, maybe.. even if I can't save my brother from that darkness that surrounds him so often.. but even so.. I want to believe that this God.. this light.. this love.. is here with me.. and in that, too, my brother can be helped if he so chooses. I love him so very much.. if he could only see that, and not succumb to this dynamic that sees one as well, and one as unwell.. and so.. on and on, it goes. That we could both be well.. even with each his own troubles.


I feel so silly almost that I'm singing now--in the sense of taking it somewhat seriously. I mean, I laugh at myself for doing this. And yet, it ties me to my spirit.. and in singing I see in myself this self that I have some empathy for. I actually see the self I cherish, even.. just in singing.

.. anyway.. maybe I'll work today, my love, as I only did a bit of work these last two days, given the holiday. I'm so glad the weather has turned out to be sunny.. and I really was moved by that sunset yesterday.

.. thank you again for allowing me to share my troubles here with you. I don't seek to burden you, or anyone. I hope there's more light here, than despair.. and if I'm hurting, it's not to give in to all I might give in to. It's just that this is sad business.

.. okay.. I'm sipping green tea this morning.. thinking of you, my love.. x

.. oh! Yesterday I remembered this Billie Holiday song.. and it really suits my voice.. so maybe I'll post this for you.. (my angel).. (and again, I miss you)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=reYVlaoxMhg
FULL SCREEN..

.. xx xxx.. x x x.. xx x.. xx..

[Violet]

.. my love.. I'm relieved to say that my brother called me, thank God (!).. If I was particularly concerned it's that it's going on a year now that he hasn't spoken with our older brother, and even though we have a much different relationship, and are much closer, I still started thinking that that might be the case with what was happening.

.. he wouldn't say what the problem was, but implied it was really "out there," which I guess is why he sounded so irrational to me that day.

[sigh]

.. well, if I could I would buy the house drinks, I'm so relieved (!).. [maybe some of that 1990 Moet & Chandon Petite Liqueur--chilled, of course]

[another sigh]

.. so, this is turning out to be a very nice Thanksgiving weekend, after all.. and the sun is still out too.

.. okay, I just wanted to report this happy ending of sorts. Of course, all the issues I just talked about remain, but at least there is communication, and he was able to say that he loves me.. and..

.. anyway, that's that for now.

.. I send all my love to you in another kiss, my angel.. x.. and thank you for being there for me.

.. x xxx x.. xxx x.. xxx.. xx x x..

later note [to a lot of you reading these posts]: I just realized that Thanksgiving is strictly an American thing.. although I remember Cate saying that Canadians have some manner of Thanksgiving, but perhaps it's a different date. Gosh, I'm usually a bit better with such things.. but.. I guess I've been a bit stressed out with everything..

[Violet]

.. my beloved.. my angel.. my most perfect perfect specimen of the noblest of manhood that ever ever was.. [I thought I'd update].. how are you?

.. I'm feeling so much better today. I guess I sort of have been through the mill, although I thought I was holding up fairly well.. only.. I guess inside I really wasn't. [not really]

.. but today I'm feeling a great deal better.. and it was sunny again--oh, and I did make it to our lake, where there's been a lot of people outside these past two days, enjoying the weather.. and being just so friendly seeming.

.. anyway, since I've been a bit of a bummer lately, I thought I'd lighten things up a bit.. [my angel]..

.. now, I have that song "Just Too Marvelous" on my top dozen or so songs to sing. Actually, I'm trying to hone in on the songs I need to be practicing more, and it's very hard to choose from so many wonderful standards.. but this one is definitely close to the top, and it definitely conveys my feelings toward you.. (my love). Not only that.. it discusses the problem I have of trying to convey such feelings over and over again, when all I have right now is.. well, "words".. and so, I identify with this song in that way too.

.. anyway, as opposed to "borrowing a love song from the birds".. I thought I'd transcribe the lines from the movie version of this song..
[as per a few posts back, this is from the 1937 movie: Ready, Willing and Able] [should you need a refresher]:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ot1WAkpQ ... re=related
FULL SCREEN.. at your own risk

.. and from that, I thought I'd put together a love letter to you.. [I wanted to do this to see if there were additional lines I might add to the standard lines that are usually used for this song, as well]..

.. okay, so.. [oh, and I hope you don't mind my being so terribly silly].. [I'm afraid things have come to that]

.. so, let's see now..


To my love [that's you, my love],

You’re just too marvelous, too marvelous for words. Like rapturous, fabulous, your voice is tintinnabulous. [??] It’s all too wonderful, an ordinary word.. like magical.. mystical.. seem just too apathistical. The sweetest words in Keats' or Shelley's lyric are sweet enough to be your panegyric. And so, I’m borrowing a love song from the birds.. to tell you that you're marvelous, too marvelous for words.

Actually, I know these are very poor words. Perhaps you’d like these better: adorable, and amorous, and glorious, and glamorous are insufficient when applied to you. To be euphemistical.. to be eulogistical.. I’d have to originate a million words that no one ever knew. I try to be logical and sensible, but I’m incomprehensible whenever I begin to find a phrase.. for they never say enough.. and they never tell enough.. I’ve already told you no vocabulary’s swell enough--what’ll I do to say the things I have in mind? It’s really absurd there isn’t a word to fit you. No matter where I look I only seem to find.. delectable.. delirious.. magnificently mysterious. You’re simply too spectacular to be in my vernacular.. and so, you see I’m forced to-go-to-the-birds. The reason must be quite apparent that you are just too utterly utterly wonderful, and marvelous.. for words.

x

.. (okay.. that pretty much sums things up, I think).. here's my little kiss, my angel.. x.. (let me see if I can find another take on this number, while I'm at it)..
.. actually.. (in my own words).. uhhhh.. (not too sure what could possibly follow "tintinnabulous")..

(I love you, my love)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GmQtigitoYs
FULL SCREEN..

.. xx x.. xx x x xxxxxx x... x x x..

[Violet]

.. my sweetest angel.. my Divine.. how are you today?.. [I'm now trying to upgrade my terms of endearment, my love, given I think the Just Too Marvelous extended lyrics 'n such have raised the bar somewhat] [although I'm still fairly certain that you're just too spectacular to be in my vernacular] [pretty sure] [but a girl has to at least try.. for all that]

.. anyway, my love.. I'll just drop in here for a moment, as I'm trying to do some work tonight after feeling a bit under the weather today, I'm afraid. Nothing serious, just feeling blah.. although, still I've been toiling away as best I can. I'm making progress, but this darn thing is taking its own sweet time. Oh, I might also blame some of my source material--the Strip material I'm using which is on line, with sources cited within the text, and so: no annotation, and no index. Fine. The person wanted to get this material out quickly, which I can understand. I've read a book of his as well, and he's certainly capable of providing ample annotation, etc.. only, my problem with his on line stuff is that every time I go to find something, I have to wade through a swamp of entangled material all over again.. so.. I should be granted some leniency as to the time this segment is taking. It's been hellish in this respect. Just plain hellish.

[sigh]

.. anyway.. I was thinking of what little present I might give to you tonight, since I like thinking up little presents for you.. [even though these on line conditions are a bit restrictive, in that sense]. So, anyway, what I decided might be sort of like a little present would be to tell you about this charming movie I just rented from Netflix that I have to say I just adore absolutely, and I have a feeling you'd like it too. It's a 1933 film starring Lillian Gish and Roland Young called His Double Life. It's a mistaken identity sort of plot, with Young playing this famous painter who's a recluse, and who gets mistaken for the butler [and vice versa] when said butler falls ill suddenly, and dies of pneumonia. The plot is quite entertaining, but of course that never is what makes a movie entirely--here, it's mostly how charming these two actors are together--that combined with a sweetly funny and enchanting script.. so.. just thought I'd mention it, my love.. it's really really enjoyable. [and even if you think you may have seen it already, it's worth a second viewing, I think]

.. actually, this is all I found on youtube for this film.. but.. anyway, just to sample..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=58i9WPBZUvo&feature
FULL SCREEN..

.. as to the singing saga.. no matter how lousy I feel, I do try to get some singing in. I need to try that Aussie voice coach next.. [I mean, the little free course I found on youtube].. and see how I do with that.

.. anyway, I've posted the following film sequence before.. but in this movie it's this singer's audition.. so.. it seems appropriate somehow. I thought she really did a fine job in this film, considering she's more an actor than a singer.

.. oh, but first, my kiss to you, my beloved.. x.. (it's a long and lingering one).. (I miss you)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TTiY9zJsnMM
FULL SCREEN..

.. xx xxx x.. xx x x.. xxx x x..