sotto la stella

LaurieAK · Post by **LaurieAK** » Mon Oct 04, 2004 7:57 pm

with apologies to ee cummings for lamely borrowing from his style.......

Sotto la Stella

i dream us
sleeping bag close
and full moon romantic.
Sipping silky kisses
till we're puddles of
Warm Applesauce....
And........
OH!!!!......
our chandelier sparkling sighs
light small fires
in a coupling of places
Where genies in a bottle
are yearning to
come out.....and.....
i dream us
happy ever,
after all.

lizzytysh · Post by **lizzytysh** » Tue Oct 05, 2004 5:55 am

Sensuous, sensual, and lovely, Laurie. Clever last, two lines. Very clear images throughout.

"Sipping silky kisses
till we're puddles of
Warm Applesauce...."

WoW ~ these just blow me away [hurricane style

] ~ how did you ever comes up with those three lines? Hugely wonderful, they are. Experiencing them viscerally, as I read and reread.

~ Lizzy

jemima · Post by **jemima** » Tue Oct 05, 2004 4:52 pm

yeah, i love the way that you move between the images.reminds me of plaths style..though obviously without all the death ect(btw,i love her stuff

)
its good to read a poem that is sensual and romantic,yet steers well clear of the cheese and re-runs of every other "love"poem.
well done

jemima

LaurieAK · Post by **LaurieAK** » Wed Oct 06, 2004 12:33 am

Lizzy~

Juicy stuff, eh? hehe.

You always seem to pick up on the stuff that i like the most in my poems.
I have always thought of those 3 lines as literally "juicy" with alliteration and warm as cinnamon in their insinuation. Whenever something seems that good to me (in retrospect) falls to the paper, i consider it a gift...not a talent. So should you

Glad you like.

Jemima~

Thanks! I am NOT a love-poem kinda gal...so this was just pure (fantasy) fun. This probably helped keep it outta the "re-runs" category (my ineptitude in the love poem genre). Glad you liked.

Thanks for the comments,
Laurie

LaurieAK · Post by **LaurieAK** » Sat Oct 09, 2004 8:28 pm

Dear, dear Ydf~

How can i resist your bad-boy (whatever your sex!) attitude!! Your insults and projections of superiority as taken place in the "i am your butcher" thread.
Sigh.
To paraphrase Plath, 'every girl loves a brute.' Heart be still. To treat me sooo badly, so arrogantly...you must like me very much (hehe)....with this in mind, i dedicate this poem to you...but only for the next 24 hours...because, well, i am very fickle. toodles, L

lizzytysh · Post by **lizzytysh** » Sat Oct 09, 2004 9:22 pm

Thank you, Laurie. I appreciate your comment very much. Yes, juicy indeed

. YDF better hurry along here, or he may miss the coup of his career

.

~ Lizzy

Sandra · Post by **Sandra** » Sun Oct 10, 2004 2:33 am

if I wouldnt have known who the author was ........I would have said......it was a woman´s....., very feminine indeed Laurie....that is the core of your poem

Young dr. Freud · Post by **Young dr. Freud** » Mon Oct 11, 2004 4:15 pm

Lizzytysh,

You are the coup of my career.

YdF

Young dr. Freud · Post by **Young dr. Freud** » Mon Oct 11, 2004 4:24 pm

Laurie,

I am sorry that I missed the dedication ceremony. I was away on call. Florida.

As for the poem. I liked it. It reminded me of I Dream of Jeanie.

YdF

lizzytysh · Post by **lizzytysh** » Tue Oct 12, 2004 5:34 am

How could I have missed something of such significance

?