The Gift of Weeping

peter danielsen · Post by **peter danielsen** » Sun Sep 12, 2004 12:54 am

I saw you in the garden
the serpent by your side
the two of us together
so near to creeping pride

My argument was perfect
you felt it wasn't so
I chose to cut my hair then
but you just let it grow

Then birth outside the garden
did change our very love
it takes the gift of weeping
to sense it from above

It takes a harps involvement
to heal the bleeding heart
the cords in touch with longing
must join what is apart

The world is never perfect
and flesh can't live alone
the blood would not be happy
without the strength of bone

And even in the kissing
some darkness creeps on by
the lips must soon be parted
the heart go asking why

But now my love is singing:
if this may be your will
then deep inside your anger
I shall be with you still

My love and I are strangers
we cannot loose the pain
we love and then go weeping
in separateness again

The serpent serves the power
but only knows of flesh
he cannot sense the spirit
the dove will also bless

And joined beyond the bloodshed
the flesh will meet once more
and we shall be enlightened
to see what love is for.

lizzytysh · Post by **lizzytysh** » Sun Sep 12, 2004 3:27 am

I'm really intrigued by this poem, Peter. I like the ways it comes together and then moves apart, then comes together, then moves apart.

Some of the verses/lines that are stand-out for me, include:

"The world is never perfect
and flesh can't live alone
the blood would not be happy
without the strength of bone"

and

"The serpent serves the power
but only knows of flesh
he cannot sense the spirit
the dove will also bless"

Actually, there were a number of times that I felt, "I really like the way he said that."

I like this poem a lot.

~ Lizzy

Fruit Boy · Post by **Fruit Boy** » Sun Sep 12, 2004 1:25 pm

I ate you in the garden
the servant by your side
the two of you together
so full I nearly died

My appetite was perfect
you felt it wasn't so
I chose to cut my toenails then
but you just let them grow

Then worms inside my garden
did eat my turtke dove
it takes the gift of creeping
to fall from up above

It takes a tart's involvement
to steal my bleeding heart
the Lord's in touch with hanging
must eat what is a tart

I never was a prefect
and cash can't live alone
the bloody thing makes me happy
when I'm on my new cell-phone

And even in the missing
some harkness creeps on by
the dips must soon be eaten
the tart go asking why

But now my love is shouting:
"HELLO, MY NAME IS BILL"
then deep inside your Hanger
I shall be on your window sill

My Dove and I are stranger
we cannot loose the window-pane
we love and then go creeping
in the garden once again

The servant has no power
but only knows of cash
he cannot drink my spirit
the dove will also bash

And joined beyond the Garden shed
the cash will eat once more
and we shall turn the light on
and count1, 2, 3,4.
_________________

lizzytysh · Post by **lizzytysh** » Sun Sep 12, 2004 4:24 pm

Hi Fruit Boy ~

Welcome [back?

] to the Forum

. I must say, however, that I didn't enjoy your parody, as I enjoyed Peter's poem.

~ Elizabeth

peter danielsen · Post by **peter danielsen** » Tue Sep 14, 2004 7:36 pm

The fat and lazy serpent
was bored to death I guess
he ate us up and gave a burp
a modest way to bless

An appetite so perfect
must let inflation show
he had to cut his dirty hooves
before they made him slow

The dove, the tart, and peter
are strangers in disguise
I must confess the road is long
beyond the pretty lies

But tell me little snaky
have you been hanging yet
or is just the windfalls
that you prefer to fret

lizzytysh · Post by **lizzytysh** » Tue Sep 14, 2004 8:58 pm

Great humour, great response, Peter

.

~ Elizabeth

Critic2 · Post by **Critic2** » Wed Sep 15, 2004 8:44 am

oh la di da
di di dah dah
la di dah di dah
lah di dah
di da dah
la di da di da

peter danielsen · Post by **peter danielsen** » Wed Sep 15, 2004 2:58 pm

Great humour, great response, critic2