Sunday Times

[Cate]

Sunday Times

He wants to know if loves still out there
and asks for any news from the front,
as he’s behind the Times
. . . reading the current divorce stats.
I tell him the war is over. Love

has been declared a biochemical
response to tactile stimulation.
It was simply part of the propaganda
procreation machine; neurons
captured during the heat of the night.

Of course this is just a ruse
designed to cover up the fact that I’ve
once again scraped my heart
and can’t seem to find the right size band-aid.


(sp)

[Boss]

This is an outstanding poem, Cate.
In essence, love is all we have; but
sometimes I wonder, these scrapes,
these bruises... We may put it in to
neat categories, sterilise it; but ah
these scrapes, these bruises - there
are no bandaids.

Thanks,
Adam

[lonndubh]

once again scraped my heart
and can’t seem to find the right size band-aid.

Oh your poor heart Cate.
But maybe like a flu you now have immunity .Ha Ha
Love is the great empty-outer
that does not exist outside ourselves
But for all that this is a beautiful world
Keep going where Love takes you Cate

[Cate]

Hi Adam and thank you! it's nice to see you here.
I was glad to see that you are out of the floods way.

But maybe like a flu you now have immunity .Ha Ha

I like that - perhaps there's a vaccine.

[Horse of Babylon]

Hello Cate I enjoyed your poem very much. I would like to have seen some more verses as the sense of despair was building up well.

Sharon


"In the dark days
When words jump from window ledges
Scraped from pavements
Too dead to use"

[lonndubh]

I would like to have seen some more verses as the sense of despair was building up well.

do you think so Sharon ?

I love the suspense between 'he wants to know 'and her 'scraped heart '

[mat james]

...on scrapings of the heart

Wishing to stem
the flow inside his blood-vessel
that liver’d the clot
in her brain;

ruptured by desire
a small colorless disc-
shaped particle spun
to coagulant

working together
her
protein and plasma
and play-platelet
did
what a band-aid
could never do.


Mat.

[lizzytysh]

Hi Mat ~

I feel like I've ended up in an anatomy class

I'm thinking, Cate, that the band-aid of correct size that you seek is forever an elusive one and that scar tissue may be its replacement... though, as luck would have it, scars come in all configurations of smoothness, lumpiness, brightness, darkness, fadedness, and in different widths and depths.

Your new avatar, Cate, is visually rich in colour and content with nutrients. I like it a lot.


~ Lizzy

[Horse of Babylon]

Hello again Cate. I already said that I like your poem but I wonder if you would mind me trying to find an alternative last line. I find band-aids a terribly unpoetic word

Sharon

[Horse of Babylon]

Hello Cate, this is what I have written. In the last verse I removed the band aid and substituted a simple 1231 pattern with simple words.

kind regards

Sharon



He wonders if love's still there
asks for news from the front,
as he’s behind the Times
. . . reading the divorce stats.

I tell him the war is over.

Love has been declared!
A biochemical response
to a touching stimulation.

It's simply part of the propaganda
procreation machine; neurons
captured during the heat of the night.

Of course this is just a rouse
to disguise that I have
once again scraped my heart
Amnesty, amity, a bruise

[imaginary friend]

Hmmm... I like the band-aid last line – it's very Cate-ish, and works with the gentle wryness of the last stanza.

[Judy]

I like the band aid one better, too. The other version doesn't sound like Cate at all

[lizzytysh]

Of course, everyone has their own thoughts, feelings, and preferences when it comes to poetry; however, I prefer Cate's original treatment using the band-aid. I like the everyday realness of a band-aid juxtaposed with the mega assignment and metaphorical solution for a temporary solution toward healing the heart, and the double entendre of it all. [Did I say that right? I know what I'm going for, but in a huge rush .]


~ Lizzy

[Cate]

Thank you everyone for such great responses and the bandage support from Imaginary, Judy and Lizzy. xxx

Lizzy - I like your descriptions of different scars/marks.

[Cate]

...on scrapings of the heart

Wishing to stem
the flow inside his blood-vessel
that liver’d the clot
in her brain;

ruptured by desire
a small colorless disc-
shaped particle spun
to coagulant

working together
her
protein and plasma
and play-platelet
did
what a band-aid
could never do.


Mat.

This is fantastic Mat!!!!
His vein running through her head is great, my favourite part of course is ‘play-platelet’.