Well.. this isn't the first poem I've written.. but it's the first one I've ever written that was inspired by some of LC's lyrics.. *chuckles*..
I wrote it for a contest within AP but would dearly love some proper criticism from people who seem to know who LC is!!! (I can't believe some people still don't know.. but I'm trying to convert as many as possible *weg*
You surrendered to me when you came back home
I willingly accepted your embrace
the time that you died within my arms
has long since passed that day
yet still you return unashamed of the blood
that runs in rivers down your face
perhaps a reminder from the past
would show more of you than is possible
yet still you return to the place you called home
that hell that belongs nowhere
that abysmal hole that no one can clean
is truly
the place you belong
here goes nothing...
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Sephiroth_Hi_No_Tenshi
- Posts: 3
- Joined: Fri Aug 20, 2004 12:52 pm
here goes nothing...
There is none you can trust but yourself.. everyone else will either betray you or ask more of you than you can give.
Hi Sephiroth ~
I'm glad to see that you continue to try to convert people to Leonard's music. I'm unable to give you 'proper criticism' of your poem. Is it about someone who has literally died, and returns in dreams or memories?
I'm intrigued by these lines
"yet still you return to the place you called home
that hell that belongs nowhere
that abysmal hole that no one can clean
is truly
the place you belong"
as well as your signature.
~ Lizzytysh
I'm glad to see that you continue to try to convert people to Leonard's music. I'm unable to give you 'proper criticism' of your poem. Is it about someone who has literally died, and returns in dreams or memories?
I'm intrigued by these lines
"yet still you return to the place you called home
that hell that belongs nowhere
that abysmal hole that no one can clean
is truly
the place you belong"
as well as your signature.
~ Lizzytysh