POEM BY QUAILEYEDSNOWFISH

[Ren1]

THIS IS CALLED "I HAVE GONE BACK IN THE CLOSETS, AFTER ALL THESE QUEERS"






I lived with dream talons
shredding fantasy
tearing August slip-streams
ripping "hello, namaste"
after all these fears


silencing my doubt-mouth
hushing piano forte
getting on for 50
a Highway with Traffic Lights
permanently red
my Granddad still dead
after all these years


Join my Pacifist Society
or I will bash your head in
stab you into Peace is
anti-sober illusional madness
after all these beers

[Violet]

THIS IS CALLED "I HAVE GONE BACK IN THE CLOSETS, AFTER ALL THESE QUEERS"






I lived with dream talons
shredding fantasy
tearing August slip-streams
ripping "hello, namaste"
after all these fears


silencing my doubt-mouth
hushing piano forte
getting on for 50
a Highway with Traffic Lights
permanently red
my Granddad still dead
after all these years


Join my Pacifist Society
or I will bash your head in
stab you into Peace is
anti-sober illusional madness
after all these beers

.. Ren1.. this actually seems more like a Ren1 poem, if you don't mind my saying.. especially the last stanza..

[Ren1]

Last night I dreamt
a holiday of rainbows
exquisite secret colours
dazzling invisibility
showed me a tornado-dream
of whirlwind romance
each potato eyed me in private
each privates like a potato
a torrent of multiverse
a sprinkle of devastation
we all walk our hyphenated trainer
a pause in reality sinking
wash the stain of de feet
triumph is a bloody Beast
Tame me, Tame Me
the Beauty and the Boast
I AM IN VINCE
the sepulchre of solitude
a confession box of chocolates

[Violet]

Last night I dreamt
a holiday of rainbows
exquisite secret colours
dazzling invisibility
showed me a tornado-dream
of whirlwind romance
each potato eyed me in private
each privates like a potato
a torrent of multiverse
a sprinkle of devastation
we all walk our hyphenated trainer
a pause in reality sinking
wash the stain of de feet
triumph is a bloody Beast
Tame me, Tame Me
the Beauty and the Boast
I AM IN VINCE
the sepulchre of solitude
a confession box of chocolates

.. well.. I've taken my version of this back to Santa's workshop.. maybe I'll work on it a bit more.. I do like a lot of your lines, Ren1, and thought to take it in another direction, even if you didn't like that direction very much (as per the following post).. but that's not why I'm removing it.. I just thought I might be able to make what I originally had here a bit better maybe, though I'm not sure if I can.. it's always tricky working with existing lines, and yet sometimes it can yield something rather interesting..

[Ren1]

YOU HAVE REMOVED THE WHOLE GAY THEME, THE WHOLE POINT OF THE POEM, THE WHOLE POINT OF MY EXISTENCE

IT IS NOT

"I AM INVINCIBLE"


IT IS

"I AM IN VINCE"

VINCE AND I HAVE BEEN TOGETHER FOR 25 YEARS AND NO AMOUNT OF HOMOPHOBIA WILL EVER STOP US. I WILL NEVER POST HERE AGAIN

[Violet]

.. gee, Ren1.. I thought I had come up with something rather lovely, in fact.. could not the two poems survive side by side, then?

.. later note: well, as per above, I will perhaps re-work what I did, and re-post something..