.

[smccallon]

A Neil Young Beginning:

On a Thursday night. I listen to Neil Young. Not the Neil Young you hear on classic rock radio station. The Neil Young of Sleeps With Angels. Yes. That Neil Young. The same Neil Young. The Neil Young of today, tomorrow, and always…

A drink in my hand. Rushes into my mind. That perfection is an acquired taste I cannot get used to. I feel the chills. I feel the dizziness accompanying. I’m not looking for a sad song. No link to any additional reminders of what time entailed. My sheer enemy. For time is given all I give to it and I gave plenty. The grunge is written on my face. I’ve scared myself in that detail. My politics. Man. My millions of settlements. Man. What are we still going to put with?

Jesus. I’ve taken the Lord’s name in vain too many times. And I’ve not paid a dime for that crime. Yet. Anyways. With all the crap. All the shit going on. A rocket signals the end of the year. I’m climbing out the window to give my resolutions. A better world to set my feet on. What can I do? What can’t I do?

I set myself into the boxes I’ve created around me. Putting up walls. Tearing down walls. I’m weaker than ever but the strength is coming back to rival even the worst in me. I just listen to everything. I just keep on needing to look towards the one I love. And the changes take place inside. And the changes take place outside. It’s certainly something out of somewhere I cannot describe.

I can’t play a role. I must be the role. It has to be Me. The inward feelings. They are coming out. Honesty is my name. I’ve got a million miles to go. I’ve got a million traveled. Life is just at the start.

[Teratogen]

"I found myself singin'
Like a long-lost friend
The same thing that makes you live
Can kill you in the end.

Can we get it together
Can we still stand side by side
Can we make it last
Like a musical ride?

Sometime it's distorted
Not clear to you
Sometimes the beauty of love
Just comes ringin' through."

--Neil Young, "From Hank to Hendrix"