to the man that loves the quiet

This is for your own works!!!
Post Reply
User avatar
Sandra
Posts: 813
Joined: Thu Jun 27, 2002 5:01 pm
Location: al sur del mundo
Contact:

to the man that loves the quiet

Post by Sandra »

One day I will stop coming
And you will wonder
Where I am.
Silence will be all you get from me
Silence of words, silence of sounds
Silence of any possibility.
And then
you will know me completely.
The many sounds that once you heard from me
will turn into sun rays
in the great vasteness of space,
and I will be closer to you than ever.
Midnight
Posts: 297
Joined: Tue Jan 21, 2003 4:29 am

Post by Midnight »

Good!
Arno
Posts: 106
Joined: Fri Dec 05, 2003 7:16 pm
Location: Munich, Germany

Post by Arno »

Even Better!!! ;)

seriously, very very well written and moving.

take care
Arno
User avatar
Sandra
Posts: 813
Joined: Thu Jun 27, 2002 5:01 pm
Location: al sur del mundo
Contact:

Post by Sandra »

I am glad that you like it........thank you...... :)
User avatar
margaret
Posts: 1856
Joined: Thu Nov 07, 2002 1:21 am
Location: UK

Post by margaret »

well done Sandra !
User avatar
Kush
Posts: 3203
Joined: Tue Jul 09, 2002 1:21 am
Location: USA

Post by Kush »

Very nice. I was a little mystified initially how sound would turn into light but I think the symbolic ambiguity of that idea works!! :)
User avatar
lizzytysh
Posts: 25531
Joined: Thu Jun 27, 2002 8:57 pm
Location: Florida, U.S.A.

Post by lizzytysh »

I wanted to comment on your poem when I first read it, but I couldn't formulate the words accurately, and I'm still tring to bring one in particular to mind.

You've poeticized love and loss very beautifully, Sandra. I love the way your poem [intentionally] shifts, with "And then" as the segue. I love the elusiveness of how you've expressed your thoughts. You've created a sense and visual of vitality and action, using the word and concept of silence, their virtual opposite.

And then [the missing word ~ meaning something that's true, although its appearing to be the opposite] with your, "you will know me completely." It's not "ambivalence" or "ambiguity" ~ but it's right in there, somewhere close. Likewise, with these lines:
"in the great vasteness of space,
and I will be closer to you than ever."

I really, really like this, and it hearkens to feelings I've had, as well. You've expressed them incredibly succinctly, despite it's appearing to be otherwise :wink: :D . What is that word!?!

~ Lizzy
User avatar
margaret
Posts: 1856
Joined: Thu Nov 07, 2002 1:21 am
Location: UK

Post by margaret »

one ness ? Time , space, sound, light all being as one ?
User avatar
Sandra
Posts: 813
Joined: Thu Jun 27, 2002 5:01 pm
Location: al sur del mundo
Contact:

Post by Sandra »

There is a universal energy that joins us when someone is able to put into words ideas that touch different and far people in a same emotion.
It is as if we touch the same ring of a melody....thank you for the feedback.... :)
User avatar
Helven
Posts: 300
Joined: Thu Sep 18, 2003 1:29 am
Location: Hellespont

Post by Helven »

Dear Sandra,

I never comment poems but now just can't but say something... won't "comment", though - I'd simply like to thank you for posting this. It's really wonerful! Thank you very much for sharing this amazing poem with everyone.

Yours,
TH.
Post Reply

Return to “Writing, Music and Art by the Forum members”