Master of The Satin Straps

peter danielsen · Post by **peter danielsen** » Tue May 25, 2004 12:18 pm

I asked: are you a squirter?
she said: Im not like that
I pointed at the puddle
she said: well that's the cat

I asked: is that a metaphor
she said: Im not like that
I said: well surely honey!
she said: It's just the cat

The deepest silence filled the room
I swear I saw her smile
the red-eyed beast from cuddleland
was joining her in style

The two of them were purring
from tail right to the head
their scheme was now to take control
of my side of the bed

But I can be a mystic
I know the secret trick
I handle words of passion
the nice one and the thick

Before the night had ended
the cat was on my lap
again I was the master
of every satin strap

Daniel Petersen · Post by **Daniel Petersen** » Sat Jun 05, 2004 1:31 pm

Is this supposed to be funny?

Everyone knows that animals in the bed can cause serious illness. I once found my daughters 5 year old hamster in my bed, and for days I could not stop coughing.

And you call yourself a master, I call you a disaster. You are in no way funny, and I think that this is only another pointless attempt of provoking. But dont you get it. Nobody care!! You can say tit, and they would call you a kid, you could say horny, and they would reply :"cosmos loves all", you could say "suck my banana" and they would answer :"remember also to drink plenty of water".

I think you should either stop posting, or stop pretending to be another E. murphy, you are out of your league dude. This is a poetry place, not a first-time-drunk-boyscout wanking room

Daniel

peter danielsen · Post by **peter danielsen** » Sat Jun 05, 2004 1:38 pm

Well Daniel

I not so sure why you are that mad if it is only an attempt to provoke. I know I havent got much talent(hardly any) but hey we are all trying to give it our best shot. This is a forum which should have room for different oppinions, and different ways of expressing ourselves.

You say that I am not funny. Well my father also said that, and he drank himself to death, how funny is that? Im only trying to laugh a little before I die. I think that you do many of the members on this forum wrong. They just dont find this poem interessting. That doesnt make them less good people.

Anyhow I think in some respect that you are the wanking guy here, hu dude.

Peter

Omnia · Post by **Omnia** » Sat Jun 05, 2004 8:45 pm

To Peter Danielsen,

Thankyou for sharing your poetry.
I for one enjoy reading your words.

Omnia

peter danielsen · Post by **peter danielsen** » Sat Jun 05, 2004 11:17 pm

Thank you omnia,

and dont be too bothered with daniel, I think he lives in the shadows.

Peter

Daniel Petersen · Post by **Daniel Petersen** » Sat Jun 05, 2004 11:27 pm

...and peter danielsen, lives in the light, perhaps thats why we have to look at his ugly face so often. I've heard certain creames can make ugly skin look nice, maybe peter should fill a bucket with that kinda stuff so that that his rarther disgusting heart could seem less disturbing.

I've rewritten his disgraceful poem butterflies:

"Id really like to kick you on
another day like this
oh may you fall into the sea
and sink to the abyss

Because I cannot kick you in
a cyberspace like this
Im making you an ugly song
my bum now you can kiss

Omnia · Post by **Omnia** » Sat Jun 05, 2004 11:55 pm

To Daniel Peterson,

I'd really like to knee you in the nadgers....yes I would
And if I got the chance to
Then I'm sure I really could

You'd fall and squirm in pain
And your balls would split and splatter
And all for an opinion
Does it really bloody matter?

But because I cannot hurt you
or kick you in the chods
I just hope your ugly words
Are deleted by the Mods.

Hahahahahahah

Daniel Petersen · Post by **Daniel Petersen** » Sun Jun 06, 2004 2:01 pm

to omnia

Oh now you wanna knee me
but try to understand
these little stones I carry
is me, and Im a man

The world would loose
its promise
if I could not produce
the women would be
desperate
and join to cry the blues

Im sorry, but the reason
for them to dress real nice
is that my spear and stones are
their every hope of spice

You say my ugly words are
the once they should
delete
Well how about the boredom
would that be far more sweet

I dance on graves all naked
I loose myself to life
I cut my bleeding heart out
but have to steal the knife

Could you instead please cuddle
my stones so sore and tense
and make the passion grow up
as poetry-suspense

DANIEL

Omnia · Post by **Omnia** » Sun Jun 06, 2004 7:44 pm

Touche' Daniel.

Daniel Petersen · Post by **Daniel Petersen** » Mon Jun 07, 2004 10:40 pm

dear omnia I fear that my posts will be deleted, will you please therefore be friends with me, and perhaps we could buy a small cottage in the country, I could sing for you, listen :"yoddle deedle dum dee di"

Daniel

Omnia · Post by **Omnia** » Tue Jun 08, 2004 12:59 am

Daniel.

dear omnia I fear that my posts will be deleted, will you please therefore be friends with me, and perhaps we could buy a small cottage in the country, I could sing for you, listen :"yoddle deedle dum dee di"

Daniel,
please stop that dreadful noise!

I fear we may both be deleted.

Daniel Petersen · Post by **Daniel Petersen** » Wed Jun 16, 2004 4:26 pm

Omnia, Ive decided to scare the old people in my village by running flat naked round the streats screaming all the time. This is offcourse a metaphor. It doesnt mean something vulgar like Im going to have my penis dangling like some absurd foderal(allthough this might cause interest for certain anthropologists). No no, its more like Im going to display my darkest pornographic sides to everyone, so that they can turn against me and to and for themselves. This could heal the world. I am the new being, kneel my love, kneel!

daniel

Omnia · Post by **Omnia** » Thu Jun 17, 2004 2:56 am

:

No no, its more like Im going to display my darkest pornographic sides to everyone, so that they can turn against me and to and for themselves. This could heal the world. I am the new being, kneel my love, kneel!

Daniel Petersen · Post by **Daniel Petersen** » Thu Jun 17, 2004 11:38 am

Dear Omnia

Your hatred makes me feel so alone. I just like to play with words. Im an artist ya know. After I read your attack on me I went down to the coast where I used to play as a Child. The Oaktrees goes almost all the way down to the beach. There is an old wooden boat there which seems to speak to me about wonderful summerdays, sweet fruit, and the soft waves against the sand. Now its in a way all gone, the boat it falling apart my uncle is dead.
Anyhows my mouth is not fat. Its quite tiny actually. Its a mouth most women prefer to kiss instead of wash. Dont know why that is. Maybe they prefer a stupid boy to a man afraid of loosing himself.

Dear Omnia, people are killing eachother out there, are you aware of your gun.

Peter

Partisan · Post by **Partisan** » Thu Jun 17, 2004 12:20 pm

Peter

That really was careless Daniel. Or is it Peter. Or perhaps Narcissus.

p.