And we thought our lives were original

[vern.silver]

___1035___
here is the dream
the plagiarized moments
our hearts walk us through
the step after step
journey
we all stumble after
some surviving unscathed
others cut to the bone
bloody
unforgiving

___1037___
i have a moment of sleeplessness
before i write this
before i am startled awake

something that strikes me as odd
the illusion of the memory
the wavy hallucination
that is so convincing
so cunning
we think of it as
reality
and then use it
to go on to tarnish
everything else

___1040___
you spoke to me
a whisper at first
and then crescendo
into shout
scream
challenge
as if all hung upon
a certain truth
that you believed

a lie to me

a dressed up doll
a consort
the spitting image
of the clown in the striped
costume
big rubbery feet
large red nose
grease paint smile
fuzzy green hair
pouring out beneath
a black top-hat
top popping open
mad hatter peeking out
needle in hand

___1045___
why don’t we spare ourselves
the pain
spare ourselves the drive towards
anger
vitriol
destruction
lust for revenge
that just makes fools

pardons no one

we cannot discount
the blemish of our trust
that is our emotion
need
to point at in blame
in self defense

___1050___
no one happens
nothing moves
silence slivers beneath it all
painful
festering
building the poison in the heart
until

___1100___
now that we have come this far
without speaking
without moving
without

now that we have placed this blame
played this game
stood this shame
up against ego

what have we gained
left unstained
retained
of self

respect

27 July 2010