to the Scot in everyone

[Harry S]

Following yesterday's succesful parody challenge, here is a topical first verse from One of Us Can Not Be Wrong.

I wore some thin green sandals, to make you jealous of me.
But the room just filled up with my stink-foot,
my body was so damn dirteeeeee
Then I took the thrust of a tall handsome Knight
he lanced me whilst I was pissed
And then I confess that I slept in Loch Ness
with the Monster that doesn’t exist

[Violet]

.. I'm sorry, Harry, but being half Scot myself, I have it on very good authority that the monster is real.. I'd think twice before bathing there at that lake.. or at least wear some rubber

[thought I'd leave a dangler] [which is, actually, apropos to said problem]


.. much later edit: just passing through here, and saw this post needed some further truncating.

[Cate]

Have you ever done Night Comes On? (I didn't pick it because of the pun - I was just listening to it)

[Harry S]

Have you ever done Night Comes On? (I didn't pick it because of the pun - I was just listening to it)

not tried, looks too easy. if back ache shuts up I will do it for you later and time it as that is the real challenge, the parodies themselves are too parasitically easy.

hareeeeeeeeeeeeee

[Cate]

Sorry your back hurts Harry - I wish I could help. I hope it doesn't last to long and that you can get yourself for a proper massage or whatever it is that helps you when it's bothering you... tiger balm maybe...

xx
cate

[Harry S]

Sorry your back hurts Harry - I wish I could help. I hope it doesn't last to long and that you can get yourself for a proper massage or whatever it is that helps you when it's bothering you... tiger balm maybe...

xx
cate

Thanks! here's your request, a mangled middle section of NIght Comes On

you need to read it alongside the original to "enjoy" it, otherwise the plays will be missed. I got bored by the song really easily but this is the product of 7 wasted minutes of my life


We were fleeing from Egypt
When Pharaoh got seriously pissed off
He said “why did the first-born have to die ?”
There was this terrible sound
Of Leonard Cohen playing Jazz Police
With an awful side-salad, so that made it worse really
Pharaoh said, “Try to go on to the TV
Don’t just write books, watch Spector with that gun”
Remember, Lennie, how Marianne lied
Next to you in the bed
And the night comes on
And you can either fuck her
Or get on with your career
It's very nice in the palm
I'd like to pretend that my father was wrong
But self-love was truly better for the young
Than actual sex
With my cock in this kitchen


what do you say, Cate? If you are happy with it then pop over for a quick massage on my back please

Harry

[Cate]

7 minutes - not bad, you've even got some nice word play there ... you don't like that song? I listened to it about three times in the car today.

Okay - get undressed and lie face down on the bed, I'll be over in few to massage your back - make sure you put a towel over your bottom.


edit note - thought I better specify face down

[Harry S]

7 minutes - not bad, you've even got some nice word play there ... you don't like that song? I listened to it about three times in the car today.

Okay - get undressed and lie on the bed, I'll be over in few to massage your back - make sure you put a towel over your bottom.

why, have you got something against my bottom? then I will have something against your bottom?

[Cate]

I always like my bottom covered during a massage - it's a comfort thing - the towel or blanket might move but it wouldn't seem proper without it.

ohhh wait - what exactly do you mean by something against my bottom - naughty, I thought your back hurt

[Alsiony]

Hang on, what was it that caused your backache again Harry?
Because, seeing as I am of Scottish descent, I unquestionably know, that the biggest reason for backache in Scotland is ofcourse - Caber Tossing.

Has 'You Know Who I Am' been suggested yet?

A
x

[kwills]

Alsiony,forgive me,but what kind of caber were you suggesting Harry had been tossing?

[Harry S]

The Caber Tossing Event has been indefinitely postponed.

[Harry S]

Hang on, what was it that caused your backache again Harry?
Because, seeing as I am of Scottish descent, I unquestionably know, that the biggest reason for backache in Scotland is ofcourse - Caber Tossing.

Has 'You Know Who I Am' been suggested yet?

A
x

Claire, I have written you a version of You Know Who I Am. It was a little too easy although there is one line where I may be a wee bit out with my scanning but I don't think anyone wil notice. You will see immediately on reading that I have reversed the current trend on this Forum towards peurile obscenity.

I come to massage you, my love,
then you will massage me.
let’s put a towel between your thighs
to protect your modesty

You know who I am,
you've massaged my bum,
well I am the masseur who loves
bending you over and giving you one.

Sometimes I do you naked,
sometimes I do you wild,
I need you to carry my long sports-bag full of massage equipment and accessories
and I need you to toss my caber

You know who I am,
you've massaged my bum,
well I am the masseur who loves
bending you over and giving you one

If you ever want to go down
I will surrender there
and I will leave with you one tired mouth
watch out for pubic hair

You know who I am,
you've massaged my bum,
well I am the masseur who loves
bending you over and giving you one

I come to massage you, my love,
then you will massage me.
let’s put a towel between your thighs
To protect your modesty

You know who I am,
you've massaged my bum,
well I am the masseur who loves
bending you over and giving you one

[Alsiony]

Well done indeed! - and not a trace of puerile obscenity anywhere, very good

Though I am afraid I didn't manage to spot the line where you were a wee bit out with your scanning... (how uncharacteristically superficial of me) perhaps I need to delve further into these lyrics...
However, with regards to this particular line

I need you to carry my long sports-bag full of massage equipment and accessories

... well you don't know what a potentially sore prospect this may now prove to be now. Dear Harry you are not alone in suffering some form of pain at this moment - for yesterday I managed to break one of my toes on a big wooden trunk that I have in my bedroom, thus rendering me incapable of doing very much in terms of walking too easily, nevermind the prospect of carrying anything around. Excruciating pain - perhaps, enormous inconvenience - definitely. Many may be forgiven for thinking that I am prone to having accidents - not so, given the multitude of activities that I undertake, so that - I believe, is what you would refer to as a blessing.

Now... I have no idea what LC song could be transformed into a Lament for the Victim of Broken-Toe-Ness, nor one about The Trials of the Bad Back of Life for that matter Either of which I would request, if they were possible...

I bought my son's a Replica 2010 world cup football - which I won't be kicking round for a while...(even though I am a rubbish footballer) - that almost hurts the most.

WOE IS ME! hehe

A
x

[Harry S]

oh no! speedy recovery, Claire. send me bulleteins becasue I now departeth from this place and will nae more return until 2011 the earliest. I will not be creating any new troll identites like Geoffrey has done with Ren and Drthingy.

those who are close will have my email addy

great fun, see you all

Harry