The Stripper

[Cate]

.
The stripper – a romantic vignette

They had met at a bookstore café at 2,
were strolling the beach by 3, hand in hand by 5
She was a beauty with striking sky blue eyes;
he invited her to dinner, she invited him for drinks.

I would love to see you, as god made you – he had said.

In the powder room she carefully removed her make up,
her false eyelashes, her fake fingernails and contacts.
She placed her wig on it’s holder and her bottom teeth
in a denture cup. She slipped out of hurtful heals,
squiggled out of her extra control top tights
and removed her heavy jell filled push up bra.
Shocked to see her completely nude he removed
his hair piece and put on his glasses.
As god made her, he loved her – brown eyes and all.

[Alsiony]

Fantastic!

A
x

[Cate]

Thank you Alsiony

[Karren B]

Nice thought!
Even though everything fake about a person is stripped away, some one will still love them.

Karren B xx

[Cate]

thanks Karren - it wasn't really a nice thought though. I was amused with idea of going home with one person and a totally different person emerging from the bathroom. Originally I was going to go with a time theme and have him leaving quickly but then when I started to write it, I realized the imaginary person in my head wouldn't have done that.

[mat james]

Originally I was going to go with a time theme and have him leaving quickly but then when I started to write it, I realized the imaginary person in my head wouldn't have done that.

Yes I would have!

[lizzytysh]

Though the circumstances were extreme, I love how you played off the idea of "Stripper," which set up a whole different set of images than the way it played out. The sweet, vulnerable irony of the whole 'affair' was really capped by the surprize ending. I like it a lot.

The way you presented the quick progression of their situation in the first stanza is VERY effective.


~ Lizzy

[Cate]

Hi Lizzy, thanks for taking the time to read and comment.
I'm glad the first stanza worked for you, because it was faced paced it could have ended up sounding sterile (not the right word)

Mat - how did you know this was you!?
perhaps I should do another version where you cunningly distract her and slip out the back - it shouldn't be to hard, remember she took out her contacts so she won't be able to spot you very easily.