new moon ramble

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Cate
Posts: 3469
Joined: Tue Nov 06, 2007 4:27 am

new moon ramble

Post by Cate »

That damn moon is gone again.

a poet once argued
that the moon was a man
maybe,
men always leave.

In someway or another they leave
it's just what they do.

(A grandfather dies
soon after my father, his son.
Another grandfather, another son,
another uncle; all left,
all died.)

My husband torments me
at our holiday dinner
pouring clotted gravy
onto his piece of roast beef.
My stomach tightens.
After
the women go to the kitchen
leaving <just> two to stare
(suspiciously) at each other
wondering
who will be next.

(the water is running in the bathroom
as a husband clips his nails
short and round
before walking past his bedroom door
and leaving for work
an hour early.)

sure he'll be home tonight,
but what about tomorrow?


(revision 1)
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mat james
Posts: 1847
Joined: Sat May 27, 2006 8:06 am
Location: Australia

Re: new moon ramble

Post by mat james »

Quentin Tarantino could do something with this Cate.
It's all set for ....anything! 8)

Mat.
"Without light or guide, save that which burned in my heart." San Juan de la Cruz.
imaginary friend
Posts: 1371
Joined: Fri Jun 22, 2007 5:09 am
Location: Vancouver, Canada

Re: new moon ramble

Post by imaginary friend »

Hi Cate (Hi Mat),

I have come back to read New Moon Ramble several times, and attempted to comment more than once but held back. Mat's comment has said it best, I think.

The title suggested a certain lightheartedness, but each time I read it, I felt mounting uneasiness, especially the last stanza (the man clipping his nails thoughtfully – different explanations for his thoughtfulness spring to mind – none of them comforting). The poem has a deliberateness (is that a word?) to it, a cautionary seed.

PS: You and Mat always come to mind when I look up at the moon, especially when she's full.
Cate
Posts: 3469
Joined: Tue Nov 06, 2007 4:27 am

Re: new moon ramble

Post by Cate »

Quentin Tarantino could do something with this Cate.
Hi Mat - He'd probably have some good ideas. Maybe a crazed distraught woman could stalk greasy burger eating men at fast food places - played by Geena Davis cause she's tough!
I felt mounting uneasiness
that's good Sheila - I was aiming for anxiousness/irrational fear/paranoia. I work shopped this a couple of weeks ago at a poetry forum (hence the proper spelling and reasonable grammar :D) but I still am fiddling.

Thoughtfully - ahhh... I'm going back a forth on that word.


Thanks for your comments guys,
x
Cate
Harry S
Posts: 255
Joined: Sat May 02, 2009 1:58 pm

Re: new moon ramble

Post by Harry S »

Cate wrote:
Thanks for your comments guys,
x
Cate
you're very welcome Geoffrey.
Cate
Posts: 3469
Joined: Tue Nov 06, 2007 4:27 am

Re: new moon ramble

Post by Cate »

You did not comment Harry therefore I do not thank you

on your knees and apologize for your faux pas!!!!
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