AfterGlow

LaurieAK · Post by **LaurieAK** » Tue Mar 30, 2004 8:22 pm

This was instigated after reading the Chernobyl site that Byron posted.

AfterGlow

Something shiny in the distance
Drew their eyes in rooftop awe
Sweet breezes from aways, rang the metal chimes…
Hanging in the garden; near the empty swing
Soon, understood, would stay empty for all time.

Complex atoms seduced the masses
No price to pay too high…
Something shiny in the distance
Means many lives will die.

More than just a fire, soaked into the clouds
No heroic, fabled Gods can turn this thing around.
Invisible, invincible, the silent killer, surely waits
But gambling has no merit when no one can win
Wagers of every color die, poison antes mark the date.

Complex atoms seduced the masses
No price to pay too high…
Something shiny in the distance
Means many lives will die.

Even Earth's oldest magic cannot heal this wound
Homes and farms and villages, lonely monuments
Echoes poise abandoned, static as a used up mine.
Now death shadows many, yet that spiral will fall still
But what we did to Mother Earth, is mankind's unending crime.

Complex atoms seduced the masses
No price to pay too high…
Something shiny in the distance
Means many lives will die.

The end,
Laurie

lizzytysh · Post by **lizzytysh** » Tue Mar 30, 2004 8:39 pm

That's a great tribute, Laurie. Very well done. Have you considered sending it to her? I think she'd appreciate seeing how her chronicling has moved and 'inspired' you as a viewer. It appears you may have intentionally written it as a crossover to a song, as well. I'd be interested in hearing someone sing it.

LaurieAK · Post by **LaurieAK** » Tue Mar 30, 2004 9:15 pm

lizz~

Unsolicated poems from strangers has to be about as welcome as old fruitcake.....

As for this being "song" oriented...Nope. I am not a bit musical. The refrain is purely poetical. I am not very pleased with the rhythm and flow of the stanza's, other than the refrain. Repeating it like i did was my way of diluted that bumpy-ness of the rest of the poem. Bit lazy on my part, really. I started this last night and finished this morn. L

lizzytysh · Post by **lizzytysh** » Tue Mar 30, 2004 10:04 pm

I would think the "unwelcome" would depend on how you framed the issue of sending it. It's not as though she's a presenting poet [at least that you're aware of ~ and/or at least not on paper ~ though she certainly has a serious-poet's eye from behind the lens of a camera], so you're likely to be perceived as trying to 'compete' with her in her own craft. Giving her address suggests welcoming hearing from people; and it wouldn't seem that someone like her would be 'offended' by hearing from someone in the mode of expression, in which they were moved to write. I can tell her how deeply her work touches me. You would be showing her. Her work is testimony to how far we've come [and gone]. It has serious implications for all of us.

I think of how I've heard how satisfying it is for Leonard when people 'get it' ~ the meaning of a song, from the perspective from which he wrote it. As his are so complex, that's quite a feat. I think of visual artists who have been inspired to do paintings that were inspired by his songs [Elizabeth Laishley's paintings; Ania with her graphic art et al; the man known for his 'Dali[?]'esque'-type paintings inspired by Leonard's songs; etc.] and they surely don't come across as old fruitcake.

Her country has been as cloaked as ours in revealing the "what's really going on." I think you may be underestimating how she, who obviously cares as much as she does about the plight of people, animals, and nature, may be touched, if not moved, by seeing how her 'documentary' site [bringing to the 'world' what she's seen and continues to experience] has affected someone from so far away [yet, even today, remains in the very same danger]. Your poem is such a real way of showing the impact of her photography and commentary ~ I hope you send it.

Up to you, of course [duh

~ no kidding!], but I hope you'll reconsider your conclusion and send it on [even smoothed out a bit, if that's your choice. I noticed the bumpiness, but in view of the heart and message, it didn't matter.]. That's not much time for 'refinement'/alterations of it, but you certainly have it now......

~ Lizzy

P.S. Did I mention feel/think you ought to send it

?

Kush · Post by **Kush** » Wed Mar 31, 2004 5:34 pm

Laurie...this has a Witty_Owlish feel to it. I'm saying this as a compliment to both and hope it will be taken as such

George.Wright · Post by **George.Wright** » Wed Mar 31, 2004 6:16 pm

Laurie, Kush is right. It has an Owl feel about it, but it is a damn good poem.
Georges

LaurieAK · Post by **LaurieAK** » Wed Mar 31, 2004 7:27 pm

Georges & Kush~

this has a Witty_Owlish feel to it....Kush is right. It has an Owl feel about it

You Bastards!! Haha...Just kidding.

Actually the irony of this occured to me before you mentioned it. Writing about something like this is out of character for me. In my defense

(as opposed to witty's wide sweeping critical views) this is a factual event that has no antidote. Truly Hopeless. We did it. Our great science did it. The same science that has saved so many lives. For this i do not condemn mankind. I condemn the incident and lament the aftermath.

Actually since Witty is really good at this sort of genre and Georges is good at historic/epic stuff...I'd love to see something from them on this subject, if they are so inspired.

Thanks for your kind remarks.

Regards, Laurie

LaurieAK · Post by **LaurieAK** » Wed Mar 31, 2004 7:43 pm

Lizz~

I really appreciate your comments and arguments regarding my sharing this poem with the owner of that site.

Maybe I will share the link to this site and she can view it that way(?) Or maybe not.

Thing is, her site with its pictures and comments is a monument. It is a reflection of her personality, her art, her science. I think my poem is a very "pale reflection" (to sort of quote zabka) of what she has accomplished. I am just a safe and sound Alaskan, reading about her travels through a radiation infested area and her rides through ghost towns on her (very cool!) motorcycle.

I know nothing about the Chernobyl incident other than a pathetic American's view of what happens outside its' borders. I did no research.
I merely used what she presented and created something from myself...I guess besides it being a fairly quick write, I think that I/it is not really worthy, compared to her great online 'monument.' Kind of like a fingerpainting as opposed to a Signac, or such..."Look what i did" and then let's hang it on the fridge...you know?

regards,
Laurie

lizzytysh · Post by **lizzytysh** » Wed Mar 31, 2004 7:50 pm

~ You got me with your last analogy. However [using the most immediate as an example], imagine if everyone who appreciated Leonard's work waited until they 'rose to the level of,' prior to expressing their appreciation. People are still people. Heart is still heart. Appreciation is appreciation. Your poem has both. She and her 'monument' [and I agree with that] have it. However, you could still 'qualify' it [since you seem determined to do so, anyway] with exactly what you've said here....and she would certainly see it in both its context and its beauty. Just because someone does something highly meritable doesn't mean they don't appreciate others acknowledging it ~ in their own and unique ways. Your poem wouldn't go on her site, anyway. It would arrive in her mailbox and be held in her hands, from someone in a country with equally-deluded citizenry, who understands the magnitude of what she's done and continues to do. In fact, I'd venture a healthy guess that she'd appreciate your liking her bike

.

Would you find it acceptable if I wrote her [which I'm going to anyway ~ after consulting with my friend, from that region, as to how to most properly lay that address out on the envelope] and included a copy of it, as something someone on a site [naming it, of course], where I regularly visit, wrote after viewing her site? I plan to send her a copy of The Future cd with my own letter. Your poem is most welcome to come along.

~ Lizzy

Epurcelly · Post by **Epurcelly** » Wed Mar 31, 2004 10:32 pm

LaurieAK wrote:

Something shiny in the distance
Drew their eyes in rooftop awe
Sweet breezes from aways, rang the metal chimes…
Hanging in the garden; near the empty swing
Soon, understood, would stay empty for all time.

Laurie- You had me after that stanza, the rest followed suit. There is no redemption for that place, not even by the fabled heros of the thin paper books. Excellent...

LaurieAK · Post by **LaurieAK** » Wed Mar 31, 2004 11:49 pm

Lizz~

When i read that there was an address, i assumed (since i did not see it) that is was an email address.

I take it from what you have written that it is a physical address, not email, si?

If this is the case (and since you asked sooo nicely((haha)) Convincingly is more like it) it would be fine with me if you included the poem in your already planned package.

Sending 'The Future' is a really nice gesture on your part. Maybe a Cohen fan will be born

If you do send the poem please add my name & place:

Laurie Eckhout
Juneau, Alaska

Also, if you do send it, would you mind also sending her an old fruitcake to make the poem not seem so bad?

Thanks,
Laurie

LaurieAK · Post by **LaurieAK** » Wed Mar 31, 2004 11:56 pm

ep~

Thanks. Glad you liked it.
The gravity of the situation seems like science-fiction, not something that really DID happen.

L

Zabka · Post by **Zabka** » Thu Apr 01, 2004 2:36 am

Lizzie, the address is as Elena laid out on her site. It is care of a post box and will get there

ZZ

lizzytysh · Post by **lizzytysh** » Thu Apr 01, 2004 3:39 am

Starting 'from the bottom up' ~ thank you so much, Zabka, for the clarification on the address. I can now address it with confidence that it'll actually arrive

!

I agree, Laurie, on the science-fiction energy of it all.

THANK YOU, Big time, Laurie, for your permission to allow your most-deserving poem to make the trip. My pressure has been of the highest order of intention. That's exactly right, it's a physical address ~ not e-mail ~ and I didn't see it my first time out, either.

If anyone is predisposed to becoming a Cohen fan, it is one with the sensibilities of this young woman, who calls herself Elena.

I will most definitely include your location. If you care to PM me privately with your mailing address, I will include that, as well. Alaska is not so very far from her [relatively speaking, with regard to the remainder of the world]. One never knows. You could one day meet and spend some real time together. If not to be included, that's fine, too.

I'm just so pleased that she will see the impact of her photographic study on you. I was returning, anticipating saying something to the effect of, "It seems to me [I could be wrong

] that from the feedback you're getting, your poem has a very substantive effect on its readers, and you are underestimating its power." I'm glad that I won't be having to try more convincing. Your poem will ride in the front seat, alongside The Future, and won't have to contribute toward gas. Thanks for your permission

.

I'm not sure how to age fruitcake quickly [are there old-oxygen outlets anywhere?] ~ or, really, how to make one. How about a crumpled picture of one from a Christmastime issue of a dead magazine? I'll give it my best

.

Thanks again. Truly.

~ Lizz [a very appealing spelling

]

LaurieAK · Post by **LaurieAK** » Thu Apr 01, 2004 4:07 am

Well Thanks Lizz~

Your enthusiasm is charming.

Hmmm, if you don't have an old fruitcake...what can you send that would definately be crappier than my poem?

?

Are you up to doing a fingerpainting?
That might work.....
Or maybe you could chain some rubber bands together (just a few) and tell her doing this is your hobby. That would Definately be crappier than my poem

I really do appreciate the giantic nudge and that you are going to include it in with your 'stuff.'

Regards,
Laurie

AfterGlow

AfterGlow

Re: AfterGlow