WRITE YOUR OWN EPITAPH

[Violet]

.. well, Cate.. as per some of the other threads I’ve spent some time on recently, it seems that romantic love has eluded me.. and looking for signs from God in the Unrequited Land of Unloved-dom has also seemed just beyond my mortal grasp..

.. and so it seems appropriate somehow that I’d wind up here with you in this old graveyard.. sniffing around for some lost souls (or do I mean “like” some lost souls?), which might well be found behind the dryer, of all places.. (maybe it’s time to designate an old appliance section of this graveyard, come to think of it)..

Actually, since you brought up those socks.. I was reminded of some early Seinfeld stand-up material about socks, and their uncanny ability to escape notice when we go to take our clothes out of the dryer.. As I recall Jerry saying, they really like to hide around that rim, it seems.. or lay very very flat against the rounded walls of the machine, just as we’re reaching inside.. they’re actually very clever that way..

.. anyway, I looked to see if I could find this Seinfeld “sock” material, but so far that too has eluded me.. I did like his Superman Halloween stuff though, and thought I’d post it instead.. I mean, graveyards and Halloween sort of go together, at any rate.. and it really made me laugh, and I haven’t had a good laugh in quite some time, I’m afraid..

Actually, before you watch it, I wanted to mention my great admiration for gifted stand up comics, given how truly difficult it is to pull off this sort of thing.. And the better these comedians are, the easier it all looks..

.. okay, well.. in a time of massive layoffs, and chaotic uncertainty, that’s my New Year’s resolution.. to watch more good stand-up on youtube..

LATER (GARBLED) NOTE AND WARNING: It seems the wizardry at youtube has seen it in its best interest to pull the plug on this oh-so-risky SEGMENT of Jerry’s standup routine (I emphasize "segment," as one would think they'd pull the entire routine.. but that turns out not to be the case).. Anyway, Superman, it seems, is suing them (no doubt).. or.. well, I’m actually just speculating, as I don’t want to be caught in this whole Superman's suit situation (or.. wait a minute.. maybe I do.. though that would probably implicate Clark Kent, then, as he's the one that wore the suits, if you recall).. oh, anyway.. if that were to happen -- my being implicated in the suit, I mean -- then, quite possibly, his noble lordship might see fit to save me, and in the process, put on all those wigs ‘n robes ‘n things he likes to wear (with the red lace bikini panties underneath) (all of which are beginning to tur—oh.. never mind.. that too has just gotten me into all kinds of trouble in Threadlands Past)..

ANYHOO… I thought to be on the safe side, I’d post Jerry’s AIRPORT material, instead.. as, God knows, airports are just the bastion of safety these days.. Oh, and this material is I believe from the very same routine.. (hmm.. maybe the folks at youtube overlooked this particular segment, so if you journey there, try to keep a low profile, if you don't mind).. Okay, so, you’ll find this link below, and the Superman one below that, as I’m hoping the Big “S” will save the day, and somehow allow Jerry's Big S material to wind up back on youtube, although my scenario now makes no sense from a legal standpoint (since the Big S's the one who's supposed to be doing the suing), but who’s even noticing (I figure), let alone cares.. [I sound like I too am imbibing too much caffeine, I know.. maybe it's that Irish Breakfast variety, which is a mite bit stronger than the British variety, as it happens].. Okay, I'll keep quiet now..

Jerry’s Airport material..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RzE7xN65E7Q
FULL SCREEN..

Jerry's Superman Halloween stuff.. (if available)..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M523VCKvCVo
FULL SCREEN..

.. oh, I like these classic American musical dance routines too.. this one especially in its non-stop zaniness..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2oWk4ZiuSHE
FULL SCREEN..

Hey, maybe there should be a comedy section of the graveyard as well.. it would certainly add new meaning to “The Last Comic Standing”.. (methinks).. (just saying)..

.. by the way, Happy New Year, Cate.. sorry I’m late with this, I’m sort of laying low for now.. looking for some early signs of spring.. which, come to think of it, is a bit like looking for signs from -- Oh, never mind.. something bad always happens the minute I say stuff like that..

oh, wait.. seeing as how this is the Turning Ugly Losers Poetry by Forum Members Section.. I thought I’d post this last little number.. It could be viewed as a kind of curriculum for this section of the forum, actually.. Oh, and it may help a bit with some of the broken hearts in this here region, providing as it does some very good tips for pleasing the ladies, as it were.. at least those of us who get all tingly at the mere sound of anything seemingly of the ilk termed "High Litra-chure"..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XJIpp2Jj8AQ
FULL SCREEN..


ARTIST: Cole Porter
TITLE: Brush Up Your Shakespeare
Lyrics and chords

Kiss Me Kate

The girls today in society go for classical poetry
So to win their hearts one must quote with ease
Aeschylus and Euripides
One must know Homer, and believe me, Beau
Sophocles, also Sappho-ho
Unless you know Shelley and Keats and Pope
Dainty Debbies will call you a dope

/ D - - A / - - / - D / - - / - A / - - / - D /

But the poet of them all
Who will start 'em simply ravin'
Is the poet people call
The Bard of Stratford on Avon

/ AD A / / / E A /

{Refrain}
Brush up your Shakespeare
Start quoting him now
Brush up your Shakespeare
And the women you will wow

/ DB7 E7 / A7 D / G D / E7 A7 /

Just declaim a few lines from Othella
And they'll think you're a hell of a fella
If your blonde won't respond when you flatter 'er
Tell her what Tony told Cleopatterer

If she fights when her clothes you are mussing
What are clothes? Much ado about nussing
Brush up your Shakespeare
And they'll all kow-tow

/ " / " / DB7 E7 / A D /

{Refrain}

With the wife of the British ambessida
Try a crack out of Troilus and Cressida
If she says she won't buy it or tike it
Make her tike it, what's more As You Like It

If she says your behavior is heinous
Kick her right in the Coriolanus
Brush up your Shakespeare
And they'll all kow-tow

{Refrain}

If you can't be a ham and do Hamlet
They will not give a damn or a damlet
Just recite an occasional sonnet
And your lap'll have honey upon it

When your baby is pleading for pleasure
Let her sample your Measure for Measure
Brush up your Shakespeare
And they'll all kow-tow - Forsooth
And they'll all kow-tow - I' faith
And they'll all kow-tow

... / A D / DA D / /

{Refrain}

Better mention "The Merchant Of Venice"
When her sweet pound o' flesh you would menace
If her virtue, at first, she defends---well
Just remind her that "All's Well That Ends Well"

And if still she won't give you a bonus
You know what Venus got from Adonis
Brush up your Shakespeare
And they'll all kow-tow - Thinkst thou?
And they'll all kow-tow - Odds bodkins
And they'll all kow-tow

{Refrain}

If your goil is a Washington Heights dream
Treat the kid to "A Midsummer Night's Dream"
If she then wants an all-by-herself night
Let her rest ev'ry 'leventh or "Twelfth Night"

If because of your heat she gets huffy
Simply play on and "Lay on, Macduffy!"
Brush up your Shakespeare
And they'll all kow-tow - Forsooth
And they'll all kow-tow - Thinkst thou?
And they'll all kow-tow - We trou'
And they'll all kow-tow


.. oh, and as you may have noticed, Cate.. this number's from the Cole Porter musical, Kiss Me Kate..

.. chords are included too, by the way.. for those who want to go a bit further with this.. (good luck)..

..okay.. well.. all’s well that ends well, I guess.. (an appropriate line for our little graveyard here)..

v i o l e t

.. wait, what am I saying.. that line's a doggone epitaph..


ALL'S WELL THAT ENDS WELL
R.I.P., ETC., ETC., BLAH BLAH BLAH..

[Cate]

Violet you must have some type of psychic ability.
How very appropriate that should send me a note in this old graveyard when I was so sick. The kids brought home some Norwalk virus from school this week!!! Yesterday I was literally just lying on my living room floor dosing in and out while my kids, who had been sick the night before lied like rag dolls on couches watching cartoons. I was very happy to see my husband come home early, but he made a bee line to the bathroom and vomited (secretly that felt good as he had made fun of me before – big turkey) The plus is I went 2 days without any caffeine so today I tried very very hard to limit my intake … but there’s a Starbuck soooo close to my house…. Café mocha, no fat, no whip just a little peppermint and some chocolate sprinkles (the real ones – no powder) ….. Mmmmm
Thank you for the Seinfeld video (he’s so funny) and two song and dance routines – I watched them all last night – but wasn’t feeling talkative.

Kiss me Kate is playing this year at Stratford (Ontario that is).

Now, my dearest Violet, if you find either God or Romantic love, which I suspect are both better found on the dryer or perhaps the on washing machine as it hits it’s spin cycle, please let me know.
I don’t know if I’ve ever experienced romantic love – maybe when I was 17 or 18, or maybe when I was 37 .. maybe. I think I like a friendly type of love, a let me make you a tea while you tell stories type of love. Mind you, I think that you’re braver then me in such things.

[Violet]

Hi again, Cate,

I hope all of you are right as rain very soon.. it sounds just awful.. I'm still stuck with this chest cold, and last night I suffered an asthma attack, something I haven't had happen since childhood, so things are a bit off around here as well..

If you look back at my last post, there was a youtube abduction, and Jerry's Halloween Superman material is no longer linkable.. alas.. but, well, I posted a link to another segment of this routine -- also very good, I think.. and timely..

Okay.. hmm.. 'twould be nice to end with an epitaph of some sort..

.. well, speaking of Shakespeare, though not of a romantic, as I hardly feel Hamlet to fall into that category, especially given how hard hearted he'd been to poor Ophelia.. and yet, we love him for his mind, his words.. So why not make of some of Hamlet's very last words an epitaph, for all that?..

.. "There is special providence in the fall of a sparrow.
If it be now, 'tis not to come. If it be not to come, it will be now.
If it be not now, yet it will come. The readiness is all"..

v i o l e t (flower)..

[Cate]

ohhh an asthma attack. Have you had the flu or is it a particularly bad cold?
I hope that it's your last one, it must have been frightening as it was happening especially not having had one in so long.

that's to bad that clip disappeared, it was very funny.

He had a great line in it ~ 'cause when your little your life is up, the future is up, everything you want is up…'

- - -

Came back as I thought of an Epitaph that you might like, but then I couldn't find the youTube clip.

first though Dangerous Nan McGrew by Helen Kane - "I'm so bad I scare myself" - the entire movie is on youtube.

Here's the clip that I was looking for - I had thought that this was also Helen Kane, but I was wrong.


Epitaph for Betty

. . . . YOU HAVE BOOPED
. . . . YOUR LAST BOOP

[Violet]

.. sometimes I feel like I'm booping my last boop.. but then I boop again, when I least expect it.. It's actually a perfect epitaph, methinks.. especially when you factor in Bela Lagosi..

I hope you're all feeling better now, Cate.. I've had no flu, but a chest cold.. which is hesitant to leave me for some reason..

Anyway, your two film clips are a revelation.. I've never heard of Dangerous Ann McGrew.. she's just wild.. And who knew that the cartoon Betty Boop had a "live" character predecessor?.. Once upon a time I found a lovely Betty Boop watch.. an antique.. and even though it was affordable, I didn't have the cash to buy it.. I still think about it though.. I guess it told Betty Boop time.. (until it was to boop it's last boop, that is)..

Oh, I probably wrote a better reply to you yesterday, only my browser's been schitzy lately, and so when I hit the submit button I wound up losing it.. so today I'm feeling I can't quite get back to what I'd written, I'm afraid..

.. well, I'm feeling rather sad again, it seems.. (oy).. so here's my sad little epitaph for now.. (it's a well known line by Keats that's probably become something of a cliche, so try to read it anew).. (if at all possible, that is)..

A THING OF BEAUTY
IS A JOY FOREVER
Its loveliness increases; it will never
Pass into nothingness..
R.I.P., ETC., ETC.

v i o l e t (flower)..
..(oh, and my last.. boop boop bee-doop)..

[Cate]

passing on a flower seed that was left by the loveliest little bird on the wire.


Winter Song Sara Bareilles/Ingrid Michaelson

I don't know what the epitaph is ... I was going to put 'Is love alive' - but that's not an epitaph

[Violet]

Hi Cate.. such a sweet music video animation.. I thought this might capture it, while being epitaphie..


FLOWER IN WINTER