(UNTITLED...)

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Alsiony
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(UNTITLED...)

Post by Alsiony »

(Withdrawn for competition)
Last edited by Alsiony on Fri Mar 19, 2010 12:51 am, edited 1 time in total.
Weybridge MBW 11th July 2009

'All I know - and you must listen very carefully to this... All I know - is that I know absolutely nothing' - Frank

'Who ever loved that loved not at first sight?' - Christopher Marlowe

Much misunderstood... was the 'Hippie' with a reality fixation...
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Yorkshire Lad
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Post by Yorkshire Lad »

Alsiony
If you feel your poem is conveying the "simple truth " why not call it that. It's simple really
manchester, london,manchester , a mountain in Wales ,hills in Haiger
Be content with a mistake or two. Perfection holds no compromise. It's a prison for perfect people .Where the flag of insanity flies
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Alsiony
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Post by Alsiony »

Yes Yorkshire Lad - you may be right :)

I wanted to make a title that was a part of the poem- as in really like first line of it, rather than a title - if that makes sense? Maybe it doesn't! hehe.
I was thinking of 'Without you'- but I can't find anything that rolls off the tongue at the moment, so I am just leaving it blank for now.

A
x
Weybridge MBW 11th July 2009

'All I know - and you must listen very carefully to this... All I know - is that I know absolutely nothing' - Frank

'Who ever loved that loved not at first sight?' - Christopher Marlowe

Much misunderstood... was the 'Hippie' with a reality fixation...
Juan Juanders

Re: (UNTITLED...)

Post by Juan Juanders »

I really like this Alisony, I hear you.

If you want a title from the poem itself, 'Perhaps' could work. Simple and central, and ain't it just the truth! Perhaps it should be, could be enough....hope is a wonderful thing when you can grab it.
J x
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Yorkshire Lad
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Post by Yorkshire Lad »

Alsiony wrote: it's not supposed to be complicated or in depth because I wanted it's form to reflect the way that sometimes the simple truth is exactly that- simple. I still don't have a title for it.


Connections and implications
All buzzing round my head
Every angle points the same;
Don't feel like I'm alive -
I simply feel undead

And you know...
As it goes...
Perhaps it should be good enough
That, though I can't touch
I can atleast still feel
Love
The best kind of poetry to my mind is the kind that is simple and without depth . Straight from the the heart ! But this poem must have a title you owe it that much
manchester, london,manchester , a mountain in Wales ,hills in Haiger
Be content with a mistake or two. Perfection holds no compromise. It's a prison for perfect people .Where the flag of insanity flies
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Alsiony
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Post by Alsiony »

Thanks Juan - Thanks Yorkshire Lad -

It'll come - in time. Whenever I look at it, I get a step further.

Reading it just now for instance, it makes me think 'Summer so out of reach, yet just beneath this cold dark window' - which is almost as long as the poem itself! Haha.

(Maybe that's one step forward and two steps back then - same old same old... :lol:)

A
x
Weybridge MBW 11th July 2009

'All I know - and you must listen very carefully to this... All I know - is that I know absolutely nothing' - Frank

'Who ever loved that loved not at first sight?' - Christopher Marlowe

Much misunderstood... was the 'Hippie' with a reality fixation...
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