FLEETING

[Alsiony]

(Withdrawn for competition)

[imaginary friend]

I have goosebumps from your poem Alisony.

I liked the unexpected point of view/voice – from the trees by the water – they've witnessed it before, are powerless to halt her succumbing to pain, even though they know '... Anything can heal - given license... given time'

And I like how you presented nature as implacable (almost indifferent) to human suffering.

[Alsiony]

Thankyou for taking the time to comment imaginary friend. It's very much appreciated.

I thoroughly enjoyed writing this. I was inspired by a mixture of things.
The finished piece as posted here is a collaboration of sorts - a process that is completely new to me. A best friend of mine helped me with some important parts of it and that itself was a really lovely experience

A
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[Byron]

As I read the piece I was seeing the image of 'Ophelia' in Millais' painting, as she waits patiently in cold water to drown. The model for his painting nearly died from pneumonia after lying in a tin tub of cold water for hours, in his studio.


The trees are huge, old, full of wisdom, yet powerless to influence anyone's future. They have seen it before and are resigned to seeing it again. To students of history, the same can be claimed for them as they watch societies from the past renewing the mistakes of previous societies. Modern mistakes repeat those of yore. It is the utter impotence of the bystanders in this piece, the trees, followed by the utter impotence of the reader too, which makes this imagery so haunting, and I use that word deliberately.
Any words which conjure up images so realistic, are worthy of recognition, for what they are; subconscious dream sequences. Once again I use my words carefully. The state of mind of the character is no longer a part of this world. The mind is on another plain where a 'personal logic' has superimposed itself and replaced normalcy. The act to be performed is now totally at one with the character's emotional state. They are working in accord. In fact, if asked why, the character would respond by saying it is 'common sense.'
I don't know whether it was sympathy or empathy which fed this piece, but it certainly carries some form of 'history' or a deep level of understanding of the 'condition.'

[Alsiony]

Deep sincere thanks Byron
You have - for me - hit some proverbial nails on the head with your response. I don't like to go on - but your reply has made me want to respond! (apologies in advance from me then!)

Firstly – I know the water and the trees that I write of. I have been there.
With regards to me speaking on a deeply personal and individual level – yes inspiration is drawn from there as well.

Ophelia is definitely very much present too, (I am so glad that came through), as is Desdemona. I don’t think that either character was part of my inspiration in writing this though, but the further I got through writing drafts, the more I was ‘aware of their presence’ so to speak. (So maybe sub-consciously they were. but only really as it went along- I did not really know of them so well when I first started writing this). Ophelia is perhaps more obvious than Desdemona in some ways. At some points during stages, I couldn’t get Desdemona’s willow song out of my head, for example.
On one level, the woman represents much of what you could say is wrong in our world. Current mistakes that I feel are being made, together with their consequences are represented and all at the same time, in the shape of this woman. There is a deliberate irony too - when remembering the ability to give birth to new life.
And, yes, the trees are powerless. A representation of the potentially AMAZING value of history / experience, of lessons never learnt that are still on the bookshelf of life, all dusty and waiting to be referred to. Perhaps waiting in vain. The in-justice and the ridiculousness of it all is so frustrating. All of this I meant to mirror on the level of an individual too. A catalyst is missing or something. As you say - the trees are impotent. In a way - the whole scene could be compared as a contrast to ‘how we used to live’. Our own ancestors, the genuine sharing and passing down of knowledge for the real benefit of all in the future. Ok, so no trees alive on earth are that old I know – but the idea is there.
Further – yes, the woman is all consumed by the time she has reached this point. She is already in another place. A kind of unity (something that most would naturally assume to be a positive event) – has definitely been achieved. At this point- Desdemona pops back into my head. The lies and the deceit - the egos and self-interest - all the lack of straight forward and sincere communication that led to her murder. Numerous missed chances to set things right. Maybe Desdemona would have done this had her life not been taken by Othello?

It operates, in another very real way for me, on face value too. For it is also quite simply about the tragedy of a broken heart.

To me, basically everything, is either a greater or smaller reflection - circles within circles within circles. Does that make sense?
Anyhows, there are just a few things that are behind it all. I won’t go on anymore just now!
It’s a bit of a mixture in terms of inspiration. A bit like different coloured bits of play-doh that have been all squished together into one lump! If that makes any sense either!?

A
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