THE ROSE OF NIGHT

[peter danielsen]

To B.E.
whom I truly love(d).
I cannot commit myself
have to separate
what I cannot control:
"you who must leave everything that you cannot control, it begins with your family, but soon it comes round to your soul"(L.Cohen)

The rose of night


Your hands in silence squeezing
another glass tonight
in doubt but in a moment
you will be satisfied
This soothing sense of leaving
a world thats torn apart
the rush will swiftly blow out
the flame within the heart

The Rose of night is evil
when bending for your face
the smell of sorrow rousing
the need for his embrace
when radiating memories
beyond the darkest loss
the heart in slush forever
the soul of springtime tossed

And from the ugly shaddows
the god of gone will hiss:
get rid of your desire
oh girl I tell you this
the heresy of longing
is burning in your skin
but faith and true affection
is nothing but a sin

Your love will keep you nervous
thats just the way it goes
the road of never minding
goes through the land of doze
The star has been extinguished
above the desertland
the rose of love is planted
into the burning sand

Now life itself is haunting
his face so very white
and debt is left in darkness
but guilt is shining bright
So how much is a teardrop
against the smile thats been
and must he always carry
the rose of darkness in.

[LaurieAK]

Peter~

Love your poem.

The line rhythms flow. The rhymes are effective for poignancy without being predictable. My favorites:

a world thats torn apart
the rush will swiftly blow out
the flame within the heart

the god of gone will hiss:
get rid of your desire
oh girl I tell you this

Only one line gave me cause for pause:

out in the burning sand

The "out" next to "in" didn't seem right. If you don't mind my suggestion, maybe the word "there" could replace "out".

Thanks for sharing this great poem.
Regards, Laurie

[peter danielsen]

hi laurieAK

Thanks for your kind remark on my text.

There is how ever the problem that a problem with your suggestion, as it is the rose wich is planted out. I chose another idea how do you like that?


Peter

[LaurieAK]

Peter~

I think your change is Perfect.

Thanks again for sharing.
Regards,
Laurie