A Talk With My Ex

This is for your own works!!!
Post Reply
j6ppc
Posts: 75
Joined: Sat Mar 07, 2009 8:50 am

A Talk With My Ex

Post by j6ppc »

A Talk With My Ex



I called you this morning

we spoke of many things.



Your Children.

Your fear of rattlesnakes.

Life in the high desert.



Foxes, Mountain Lions and Coyotes.

How when we first saw Leonard Cohen

he was about the age we are now.



We are almost 50,

and Leonard, well,

has become an old man.



How the very first cat we got had

died at the ripe old age of 21.

A breast cancer scare you'd just had.



I called her this morning

we didn’t speak of many things.



Talking with her is a bit like throwing a stray

ember back into the fire with bare fingers.

That usually works out OK.



Sometimes, well, you get burned.

Talk of her children kills me -

her abortion, our abortion, still pains me.



The strange love/hate/fear relationship

she has with nature never

did sit well with me.



Her need to constantly reinforce

how long we've known each other,

as if I couldn't do the math.



Our cat's death reminding me of

how very young and hopeful we

were for each other, and generally.



Reminded too, of her breasts,

and of feelings forever lost.

Her breasts, at least, remain unscarred.
Bests

Jon
User avatar
Violet
Posts: 3197
Joined: Thu May 24, 2007 11:07 pm
Location: New York

Re: A Talk With My Ex

Post by Violet »

.. this made me rather sad, Jon.. I like how it goes from the wish for.. to the reality of the call..

oh..

"The strange love/hate/fear relationship

she has with nature never

did sit well with me."

.. maybe a comma after the word nature?.. I got tripped up, it's the only place.. or move the word never to the next line?.. (this is where I have trouble too.. word placement..

.. anyway, thanks for posting your poem..
v i o l e t
Violet
imaginary friend
Posts: 1371
Joined: Fri Jun 22, 2007 5:09 am
Location: Vancouver, Canada

Re: A Talk With My Ex

Post by imaginary friend »

Your poem's double-angled POV works really well (for me) Jon;
each half dependent on the other for clarity. Thank you.
Cate
Posts: 3469
Joined: Tue Nov 06, 2007 4:27 am

Re: A Talk With My Ex

Post by Cate »

I agree, I really liked the point of view shift - very effective.

I enjoyed this piece, thank you for posting it.

Cate
j6ppc
Posts: 75
Joined: Sat Mar 07, 2009 8:50 am

Re: A Talk With My Ex

Post by j6ppc »

Thanks for reading it and also for you comments.

The comma is definately needed Violet.

It was kind of fun to write - the first part of course was the actual call, the second an unspoken
dialogue. I think, at least in my case, there are always unspoken layers to a conversation one has
with someone who was once central to one's life. She and I spoke about that yesterday and feels the same way to her.

Oh- my ex read the poem and liked it.
Bests

Jon
Post Reply

Return to “Writing, Music and Art by the Forum members”