Unrequited Love

[vern.silver]

Code: Select all

Unrequited Love


written into posterity
                   grief forgiven


written into prosperity


looking aged
                  crumpled
covered in the must of regret


covered in the rust
                  kisses leave


unrequited angst
                  unquieted


the plain
            brown paper bagged
anonymous
                  delivery


the heartless
           trustless
           restless


need

          for touching


the slivers it leaves

[Joe Way]

Hi Vern,

Very nice poem. I thought the closeness of the words and subtle meaning changes brought a complexity to the poem that helped enhance the meaning and atmosphere. One question though about using "leaves" again in the last line-was that meant to echo. I wonder if another word choice would have more impact.

Keep posting-all the best.

Joe

[Joe Way]

Also, one other question-was the "sliver"-"Silver" intentional-must have been-how could I even ask?!!

Glad to see you didn't feel fractioned the last time we spoke.

Joe

[vern.silver]

Hi Joe,

Thanks for the comments. As far as 'leaves' is concerned, I'm open to suggestions. As the line is, I think it works well. The line is meant not only to stand alone ie that unrequited love leaves slivers of loss in our emotions, but also in conjunction with the lines that come before it. The need to touch these wounds; either to try to dig them out, or to enjoy/wallow in the sorrow they bring to us. Thus this poem even being written!

Vern

[iveta]

the fractions are great

the great fractionist robert creeley was such a wise poet

...when he died I though poetry has lost all its poignant bleeding fractions, glad it is not so