Nature

Toothy · Post by **Toothy** » Sun Dec 07, 2003 4:24 am

I am a tree
I am a leaf
I am a flower

but you could always....
bring on the naked dancing girl
get her to shake her ass
and pirouette and whirl

You are a chainsaw
You are a caterpillar
you are glyphosate

and then again....
Praise Santa for all of the children
Be happy at there mere existence
Help and old person. love the children....love the babies
oh the babies .... the poor babies ..... who will love them
they are dealing with the polarised
Help the children.... the poor.... poor children
save the babies..... save the babies!
they need our love!
unconditionally

They are ugly demons of mortality
Indifferent monsters of complacency
Broken backed foundlings on a lawn

But they sure taste nice with syrup on top
With a bit of granola
a little bit of ice craem
tasty.... tasty demons of mortality
scrumptious monsters of complacency
delicious foundlings on a lawn..

Save the babies
Save the babies
help them you must .. it is your duty
they need you... they need you
be sensitive and caring
decent and kind

for the babies.... the poor poor babies

Makera · Post by **Makera** » Sun Dec 07, 2003 5:53 am

Hi Toothy~
I like your 'green' poem very much.

Is the "caterpillar" you mean the mechanized vehicle with Caterpillar tracks, or a butterfly/moth larva? If it is the former, it would be better to capitalize it (being a proprietary name) to differentiate. Or, is the ambiguity intentional? Effective either way, really.

~Makera
---<--<-@

Toothy · Post by **Toothy** » Mon Dec 08, 2003 2:45 am

caterpillar = leaf munching bug

Makera · Post by **Makera** » Mon Dec 08, 2003 1:18 pm

Toothy~
Well it worked better, for me, as an ambiguity (i.e. let the reader's perception decide). Now it no longer seems such an ecologically 'green' poem on "Nature". What've you got against caterpillars?

~Makera

P.S. Check out the poem, "Caterpillar's Lament" at: http://www.can.to/Poem/208455

Kush · Post by **Kush** » Mon Dec 08, 2003 4:28 pm

The trouble with such poems is that one instantly takes a polarized position implicitly passing judgment on what is good and what is bad. It may work better if it had some humor. Else it is self-righteous and sanctimonious bordering on arrogance.

Toothy · Post by **Toothy** » Mon Dec 08, 2003 11:00 pm

I think you are right Kush so I modified it

Makera · Post by **Makera** » Tue Dec 09, 2003 12:32 am

Excellent example of ambiguity you have provided Kush!

Interesting, ask some reasonable questions... and some people go nuts!

I guess this settles who's got the "bug" up where, huh?

lizzytysh · Post by **lizzytysh** » Tue Dec 09, 2003 7:24 pm

Welcome to the Forum, Toothy

~

I enjoyed this poem on behalf of the green in nature, that is so oft exploited by man, his machinery, his chemicals, as well as creatures just trying to survive. Unfortunately, caterpillars can destroy, whereas butterflies delight. It's one of those dilemmas of wanting the caterpillars to host elsewhere whilst they become butterflies. Who do you root for? The caterpillars must eat. If only they would chew on the grass and leave the beautiful foliage alone.

I'm not sure what prompted your other ditties here ~ just another side of you, or as a reaction to what you perceived as criticism of your pro-nature poem. I would love to see some more poetry of the latter nature. I'm concerned, however, in that if your other line of writing continues, I'll stop reading your poems; and if you have reverted to these caring ones, I won't know it, as the baby will have been thrown out with the bath water

.

Sincerely,
Elizabeth

George.Wright · Post by **George.Wright** » Tue Dec 09, 2003 7:41 pm

Liz, in the modified "poem", the baby was eaten in the bath water.
UUUUGGGGHHHH! Toothy is a cannibal.
Georges

lizzytysh · Post by **lizzytysh** » Tue Dec 09, 2003 9:19 pm

The poem that I like is the poem Nature in its original version.