To Rosie and the Summer of '98

This is for your own works!!!
aaronblack
Posts: 48
Joined: Wed Mar 11, 2009 12:36 am

Re: To Rosie and the Summer of '98

Post by aaronblack »

Congratulations, Alice - you've invented a new sub-genre!

Poetic dialogues - or maybe we should call it epistolary poetry.

I really, really liked Rosie's Retort and not only because I'm a moody, cynical bastard!

I think what I liked most was the refreshing viewpoint - poetry from the Alice viewpoint of this conversation is quite common - from Rosie's viewpoint, not so much.

I was most impressed by your adeptness at changing voice to express that novel viewpoint. Not that easy to do - I can think of several enormously commercially successful writers who've never learned the trick, to the point that if there are 5 or 6 unattributed dialogue exchanges, you have no clue who is saying what to whom...

But I digress...

Nice work.

-Aaron
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lizzytysh
Posts: 25531
Joined: Thu Jun 27, 2002 8:57 pm
Location: Florida, U.S.A.

Re: To Rosie and the Summer of '98

Post by lizzytysh »

I think what I liked most was the refreshing viewpoint - poetry from the Alice viewpoint of this conversation is quite common - from Rosie's viewpoint, not so much.

I was most impressed by your adeptness at changing voice to express that novel viewpoint.
I had those two, exact thoughts, as well, Aaron. Thanks for putting them into words so well... or, in this particular case, into words, at all.


~ Lizzy
"Be yourself. Everyone else is already taken."
~ Oscar Wilde
3010530027
Posts: 26
Joined: Fri Mar 13, 2009 11:05 pm

Re: To Rosie and the Summer of '98

Post by 3010530027 »

Hello again. Here is a revised version, mainly to mine, a tiny change to "Rosie's".

Rosie loved me for a whole summer

we had borrowed someone else's cottage
by someone else's lake

each day we sat silently
at the edge of our relationship

when we looked down,
innocent water seemed to say
that we were perpetual

when we looked up
a blameless horizon told us
there was no limit to our love

but Nature doesn't always know best
and our love ended with the summer



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Alice, a lake is just a lake
it's water not magic,
and the sky is there for everyone
Monday lovers and Friday friends alike

I shared all with you that week
except your plans for our future
and now I must softly share
that only you
will ever write poems about that summer


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It maybe that Alice will reply to Rosie's "provocation" but she is on retreat this weekend


Alice

"I am not a number"
"I am not a number"
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