Storm Woman

FishHunter · Post by **FishHunter** » Sat Nov 08, 2003 9:31 am

This is my first i would welcome your points of view

Storm Woman

So give me something warm
From the centre of the storm
Where woman look for love
You take out your heart and pull it apart
And you feast on your wisdom till dawn

Your pleasure is near yet you’re so far away
All the men in a row slowly fade away
Life isn’t what it should be but your pleas are drowned out by the rain

The storm has gone
Only love remains
Can your heart endure such pain
You didn’t give me anything warm

Makera · Post by **Makera** » Sat Nov 08, 2003 10:56 am

FishHunter~
Welcome! This is a profoundly compelling poem. A sense of disillusionment at the transient, destructive nature of passion without an enduring reciprocal love, is how it struck me. Beautifully done.
I love the title too.....it has the 'flavour' of a Native American wisdom poem.

~Makera

George.Wright · Post by **George.Wright** » Sat Nov 08, 2003 3:18 pm

The Storm Woman is beautiful and compassionate. The storm woman is avatism. It is very native and does remind me of North American Indian folklore.
Nice Work.
Georges

lizzytysh · Post by **lizzytysh** » Sat Nov 08, 2003 4:34 pm

Dear FishHunter ~

This is a very admirable first attempt at poetry! I particularly like the image and rhythm of your phrasings, "And you feast on your wisdom till dawn;" "All the men in a row slowly fade away;" and "....but your pleas are drowned out by the rain." Very memorable.

In keeping with the reminiscence of Native American Indians [already mentioned by Makera and Georges], I like the way you integrate nature words and concepts with storm, dawn, and rain ~ and, of course, your most-intrigueing title

!

~ Elizabeth

George.Wright · Post by **George.Wright** » Sat Nov 08, 2003 6:14 pm

I posted on this poem this morning and have lost it, maybe in the storm.
Nice work, very avatistic and north American indian feel.
Keep posting FishHunter.
Georges

lizzytysh · Post by **lizzytysh** » Sat Nov 08, 2003 6:38 pm

Maybe you've lost it on yours, Georges, but it's still on mine

! That's how I was able to reference yours in mine

.

Welcome to the Forum, FishHunter

!

~ Lizzytysh

FishHunter · Post by **FishHunter** » Sun Nov 09, 2003 4:05 am

Thanks to all for your comments

lizzytysh · Post by **lizzytysh** » Sun Nov 09, 2003 6:07 pm

You're welcome, FishHunter

. Maybe you'll post another

?

~ Lizzytysh

Makera · Post by **Makera** » Sun Nov 09, 2003 7:28 pm

FishHunter~
So glad you liked our comments; but would you please tell us, was I way off the mark?
Also, are you familiar with, or have a special affinity for, Native American culture? (I sure do)

~Makera