Ickle tickle

[Virginia]

Ickle tickle he said.
Always that
just before his performance began.
Ickle tickle little
girl. But hey
who's laughing, now that you're gone?

[mickey_one]

Ickle tickle he said.
Always that
just before his performance began.
Ickle tickle little
girl. But hey
who's laughing now that you're gone?

Virginia, I am not sure the switch from 3rd person to 2nd person in the last line works.

Michael

[Virginia]

I think you may have missed the point on both fronts Mickey but I'm loathe to explain. The change in person reflects the change in his status - from the living "he" to the dead "you" whom I can now address!
Your reference to the other mickle muckle means nothing to me and is irrelevant to the subject of this piece.

[madflowers]

Virginia - I am wondering if this piece is a follow on to two other pieces posted earlier -
Going down and You.
I find this one a bit scary

[Virginia]

Hi Madflowers
yes it is!
So do I to be truthful.

[madflowers]

Virginia
I hope this is something that you are writing about and not something that you have been through