Every Tuesday
up against the wall
I cry
cos I want it all
every here is used to mean each time
Tuesday is to distinguish it from Monday (although when it is just after midnight and I have been out partying, is it really early Tuesday or late Monday?? A real conundrum!)
"up against" has a double meaning of physical placement and in combat with contrary forces
"the wall" means of course that my struggle for freedom is like the one faced by Germans when Berlin was separated.
I cry is the writer's attempt to show mood, but wait! Are those tears of protest, pain, pleasure, joy!?
"all" this is a simple rhyme that matches "wall" and is in the best traditions of poetry
I was trying to convey the helplessness of a 58 year old woman who has no longer got men interested in her and feels up against it but never feels it up against her (oh, my! I may have gone too far!!)
Marisha
Poem of Lust (in the official format)
Re: Poem of Lust (in the official format)
I suspect that this does not happen on Tuesdays, at all. With your heavy use of w's (well, two) I think it happens on Wednesdays. Fess up.
Otherwise, excellent poem with layered meanings that were only enhanced by your indepth explanation.
cheers,
L
Otherwise, excellent poem with layered meanings that were only enhanced by your indepth explanation.
cheers,
L
I simply cannot see where there is to get to. Plath
Even despots have access to 'Welcome' mats. Me
Desperation is easily confused with enthusiasm. Me
Even despots have access to 'Welcome' mats. Me
Desperation is easily confused with enthusiasm. Me
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normanball
- Posts: 66
- Joined: Mon Jul 21, 2008 4:52 am
Re: Poem of Lust (in the official format)
"I was trying to convey the helplessness of a 58 year old woman who has no longer got men interested in her and feels up against it but never feels it up against her (oh, my! I may have gone too far!!)"
Dear Marisha:
When you say you were 'trying to convey', you imply a lack of confidence or conviction in your own poem. This is further reinforced by the fact that your explication exceeds the length of the poem many times over. Let it stand. Or let it fall. The poem will only resent you for patronizing it. I understood it well enough without the anxious commentary.
take care
norm
Dear Marisha:
When you say you were 'trying to convey', you imply a lack of confidence or conviction in your own poem. This is further reinforced by the fact that your explication exceeds the length of the poem many times over. Let it stand. Or let it fall. The poem will only resent you for patronizing it. I understood it well enough without the anxious commentary.
take care
norm
Re: Poem of Lust (in the official format)
thank you Norman, yes I am anxious indeed. Posting my works of yearning is not easy. what if horrid critics tear me down, does that mean there never was a tree falling in the forest or that it made no sound!!!
I have anxiety in all my lives, as mother, as former wife, as mistress, as casual one night stand, as aunt, as sister, as neighbor, as athlete (retired), as potter, as actuary, as lay preacher, as pilot, as semi-professional swimmer, as Samaritan, as painter, as poet, as Masseuse, as vegan, as hunter, as Goddess. I was trying to convey that uncertainty and utter lack of confidence in a life devoid of achievement.
Now I feel better for your encouragement and next Tuesday when I feel up against the wall I will simply think of normanballs.
It's very hot tonight isn't it or is that just me?
Marisha
I have anxiety in all my lives, as mother, as former wife, as mistress, as casual one night stand, as aunt, as sister, as neighbor, as athlete (retired), as potter, as actuary, as lay preacher, as pilot, as semi-professional swimmer, as Samaritan, as painter, as poet, as Masseuse, as vegan, as hunter, as Goddess. I was trying to convey that uncertainty and utter lack of confidence in a life devoid of achievement.
Now I feel better for your encouragement and next Tuesday when I feel up against the wall I will simply think of normanballs.
It's very hot tonight isn't it or is that just me?
Marisha
Re: Poem of Lust (in the official format)
Hi Marsha - I like the detailed explanation of your poem.
The analogy of up against the wall representing freedom I feel is a little vague. I remember the Berlin wall, but a lot of younger people wouldn't.
May I suggest add something more universal.
What about being blond to the wall? ... just an idea.
The analogy of up against the wall representing freedom I feel is a little vague. I remember the Berlin wall, but a lot of younger people wouldn't.
May I suggest add something more universal.
What about being blond to the wall? ... just an idea.
Last edited by Cate on Sun Aug 03, 2008 3:47 am, edited 1 time in total.
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normanball
- Posts: 66
- Joined: Mon Jul 21, 2008 4:52 am
Re: Poem of Lust (in the official format)
You wear a lot of hats for a life 'devoid of achievement' Marisha. I've been workshopping writing and music for years. The first few are like your babies. And there's the occasional nasty critter. But if it's decent art, it'll suffer the indignities and endure.
take care
norm
take care
norm
Re: Poem of Lust (in the official format)
Marisha,
You failed to explain the because I want it part of your poem, and this leaves me confused. Why is the word because there at all? excellent use of the word want however, I cannot think of a better word to so perfectly combine desire and wantonness in one, as you are wont to do in this piece. Overall, well done!!
You failed to explain the because I want it part of your poem, and this leaves me confused. Why is the word because there at all? excellent use of the word want however, I cannot think of a better word to so perfectly combine desire and wantonness in one, as you are wont to do in this piece. Overall, well done!!
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Casey Butler
- Posts: 635
- Joined: Sat Jan 26, 2008 1:53 pm
Re: Poem of Lust (in the official format)
Aha, I shan't dare to make suggestions here again. I apologize for being an individual. Can't change however, 'cause this is more fun.
Casey
Casey
Re: Poem of Lust (in the official format)
Hello lovely Cate, the Berlin "wall" was an allegory for the divide between man and woman, God-fearing man and atheist, pupil and teacher.Cate wrote:Hi Marsha - I like the detailed explanation of your poem.
The analogy of up against the wall representing freedom I feel is a little vague. I remember the Berlin wall, but a lot of younger people wouldn't.
May I suggest add something more universal.
What about being blond to the wall? ... just an idea.
Thank you for your suggestion for revision but I am a redhead (with lovely freckles, if I may say so!) so "blond to the wall" would not be truthful and a poet, above anything else, must speak the truth!
It would be lovely to chat again Cate- perhaps when you have something a bit more helpful and better researched to share (I won't hold my breath. but let's hope that's ever so soon, Dear.
Marisha (looking for a man, not a woman however blond and free with her revision suggestions she may be)
Last edited by Marisha on Sat Aug 02, 2008 5:58 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Re: Poem of Lust (in the official format)
How very kind of you to interfere, Manna. I see from your photo that whilst you are hardly in the first flush of youth and are no spring chicken, nor obviously have you reached any apparent level of grace or maturity. Perhaps it would be better to run your posts past your husband next time before exposing them to the innocent public. I offer that advice in a sisterly way!Manna wrote:Marisha,
You failed to explain the because I want it part of your poem, and this leaves me confused. Why is the word because there at all? excellent use of the word want however, I cannot think of a better word to so perfectly combine desire and wantonness in one, as you are wont to do in this piece. Overall, well done!!
Oh yes, I too was once your age, and like you I was struggling to express myself, painfully shy and full of neuroses. But I never, NEVER, accused a fellow Human Being, of "wantonness" . As I read your insult it was like a stab to my sexual organs with a large and sharp baseball bat. I hope you are happy now
Marisha
Re: Poem of Lust (in the official format)
A slightly flirtatious woman with red hair and freckles huh?Marisha wrote:Hello lovely Cate, the Berlin "wall" was an allegory for the divide between man and woman, God-fearing man and atheist, pupil and teacher.Cate wrote:Hi Marsha - I like the detailed explanation of your poem.
The analogy of up against the wall representing freedom I feel is a little vague. I remember the Berlin wall, but a lot of younger people wouldn't.
May I suggest add something more universal.
What about being blond to the wall? ... just an idea.
Thank you for your suggestion for revision but I am a redhead (with lovely freckles, if I may say so!) so "blond to the wall" would not be truthful and a poet, above anything else, must speak the truth!
It would be lovely to chat again Cate- perhaps when you have something a bit more helpful and better researched to share (I won't hold my breath. but let's hope that's ever so soon, Dear.
Marisha (looking for a man, not a woman however blond and free with her revision suggestions she may be)
Hummm.....
(no,no dear I don't mean to be wrinkling my nose and squinting my eyes at you, you just sound a bit like someone I met once)
Thank you for clarifying what you meant by Berlin wall - that's very profound - I'm embarrassed to say I thought you were speaking of panties and legs
I'm not sure what you're implying in your last line - but I've never been partial to red heads - perhaps I'd be slightly interest if you were blond but really I've always preferred brunettes.
All the best to you and good luck with your hunt for a man.
love, hugs and kisses
Cate
Re: Poem of Lust (in the official format)
psss... Manna - If you take one of Marisha's legs and one of her arms and I take one of her arms and one of her legs, I bet we could give her a good swing and toss her right into the lake!!!
Last edited by Cate on Sun Aug 03, 2008 12:13 am, edited 1 time in total.
Re: Poem of Lust (in the official format)
if I ever needed absolute proof, Dear, of the dottiness of Blonds like you it would be in your repeated misspelling of my name
sincerely
M A R I S H A
is it difficult for you to see the I. perhaps if you stopped flirting with Manna, you would be able to concentrate, write poetry, and not try to revise mine with your inappropriate suggestions. I make this post in a spirit of Sisterly Union, (but not if I see a hunky man first who is interested in a Woman with experience not a little slip of a girl as I presume you are from the style of your writing).
Also why would I ever speak to you of "panties and legs"- the very notion is almost perverse and I ask you to apologize.
sincerely
M A R I S H A
is it difficult for you to see the I. perhaps if you stopped flirting with Manna, you would be able to concentrate, write poetry, and not try to revise mine with your inappropriate suggestions. I make this post in a spirit of Sisterly Union, (but not if I see a hunky man first who is interested in a Woman with experience not a little slip of a girl as I presume you are from the style of your writing).
Also why would I ever speak to you of "panties and legs"- the very notion is almost perverse and I ask you to apologize.
Re: Poem of Lust (in the official format)
I stuck your I in my whispered message to Manna - which by the was very rude of you to read. I think your a bit naughty ms. MarIsha ( I feel I can say that as I've seen you say it to others).Marisha wrote:if I ever needed absolute proof, Dear, of the dottiness of Blonds like you it would be in your repeated misspelling of my name
sincerely
M A R I S H A
is it difficult for you to see the I. perhaps if you stopped flirting with Manna, you would be able to concentrate, write poetry, and not try to revise mine with your inappropriate suggestions. I make this post in a spirit of Sisterly Union (nodge nodge wink wink) , (but not if I see a hunky man first who is interested in a Woman with experience not a little slip of a girl as I presume you are from the style of your writing).
Also why would I ever speak to you of "panties and legs"- the very notion is almost perverse and I ask you to apologize.
I should point out that I am not at all a slip of a girl and that I find your suggestion of 'sisterly union' very presumptuous as you've never even baked me a pie or even made me a macramé plant hanger or anything - I'm not sure what kind of girl you take me for.
Re: Poem of Lust (in the official format)
My husband is inspiring, generous, thoughtful, confident, sexy, playful, smart, considerate, beautiful, funny, and that's enough for now. Do you see how good he is? How can I have any fun if I run everything by him? I assert my freedom to play and play badly as I wish.Marisha wrote: How very kind of you to interfere, Manna. I see from your photo that whilst you are hardly in the first flush of youth and are no spring chicken, nor obviously have you reached any apparent level of grace or maturity. Perhaps it would be better to run your posts past your husband next time before exposing them to the innocent public. I offer that advice in a sisterly way!
Oh yes, I too was once your age, and like you I was struggling to express myself, painfully shy and full of neuroses. But I never, NEVER, accused a fellow Human Being, of "wantonness" . As I read your insult it was like a stab to my sexual organs with a large and sharp baseball bat. I hope you are happy now
Marisha
Grace? Why, you should see me balance a book on my head and walk down the stairs on my tippy-toes.
You claim to outrank me in years, yet you also allege your innocence. One thing I know is that as we age we get less and less innocent. Another thing is that I get to tack on 15 years to my age because of a certain whim of reasoning, bringing me to age 47, while you are only 46 and a half with no 15 year free add-on. Yes, anyway, the point is that in a most younger-sisterly way, I hereby punch you in the schnozzola.
Oh, wanton, wanton, what can I say about the word wanton? A fabulous, multifaceted word. The meanings range thusly: deliberately cruel; promiscuous; profuse and luxuriant; playful. I promise I didn't intend the "deliberately cruel" meaning for you, for you seem to me to be quite the little, old, sweetie-pie.
When I read the word "it" in your poem, I assumed it had something to do with a stab to your sexual organs with a large and sharp baseball bat. If this were a misconception, then please accept my most humblestest apologies. I shall give you nine:
Marisha, I'm sorry. Marisha, I'm sorry. Marisha, I'm sorry.
Marisha, I'm sorry. Marisha, I'm sorry. Marisha, I'm sorry.
Marisha, I'm sorry. Marisha, I'm sorry. Marisha, I'm sorry.
Yes, I am happy, thank you for expressing such concern. I hope you too are happy now.
Marisha, stop reading here.
============================********************
This next part's for Cate.
I think if you take the leg & arm on one side and I take the leg & arm on the other side, we can give Marisha a proper toss into a cold shower, eh? I'm sure a lake would be much too small.