Break the Lyric Vessel at Your Peril

This is for your own works!!!
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normanball
Posts: 66
Joined: Mon Jul 21, 2008 4:52 am

Break the Lyric Vessel at Your Peril

Post by normanball »

The broken hill's in for repair.
Its promontory had a dodgy lever.
The hallelujah's harder still--
repairing praise and joy's no small endeavor
Marisha
Posts: 218
Joined: Fri May 02, 2008 8:26 pm

Re: Break the Lyric Vessel at Your Peril

Post by Marisha »

normanball wrote:The broken hill's in for repair.
Its promontory had a dodgy lever.
The hallelujah's harder still--
repairing praise and joy's no small endeavor

Goodness, Norman- you do have a lot to say, don't you! sometimes I miss this forum for a day or two and I have 5 or 6 little Ball presents awaiting me on my return. You are such a busy dear that you even forget to respond to other peoples' comments on your lovely poetry. Naughty, naughty boy!

This treasure here is a bit of a mystery to me but I just know it's lovely anyway! I feel so silly sometimes, worrying about how a promontory can have a lever, but that's the beauty of nonsense rhyme - it mustn't make sense!! so, well done indeed!

As a Leonard fan for more than 30 years I feel bad that I don't understand how a hallelujah repairs praise but as long as you are having fun, Dear!

Actually none of your poem makes any sense at all but I am so glad you shared it with us and I look forward to the next 30 you post

love

Marisha
normanball
Posts: 66
Joined: Mon Jul 21, 2008 4:52 am

Re: Break the Lyric Vessel at Your Peril

Post by normanball »

Thanks Marisha, I've been a very busy engine if not a very productive one. The only way I can come close to your achievement of thirty years of fandom is that I've been breathing for over forty.

--norm
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lizzytysh
Posts: 25531
Joined: Thu Jun 27, 2002 8:57 pm
Location: Florida, U.S.A.

Re: Break the Lyric Vessel at Your Peril

Post by lizzytysh »

Hi Norman ~

I really like the ideas in your poem. With the last line, however, it seems I have to speed up my mental voice to get it all in, so as to align with what preceded it. I feel rushed when I do it, so much so that I'm more focused on how quickly and deftly I'm able to 'speak' it, with all those syllables, to just make it happen, than I am with absorbing its meaning... with final lines tending to have a way of summing up or driving it home. I also find that when I try to 'speak' "praise and joy's" [something in the combining of those particular words] in that intended, efficient manner, that that is what becomes "no small endeavor" ;-) . Rather than rolling off the tongue, it gets hung up, at least on mine :) .


~ Lizzy
"Be yourself. Everyone else is already taken."
~ Oscar Wilde
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