The Trap

[George.Wright]

The fields were green and coloured more
While the reds and purple, teared with the score
Why fight your eternity, it's no more?
As your soul is imperfect and is never to soar
Back to the source and the primeval dream
That lasted so long it allowed you to scheme
And tasted of love, so incredibally impure....
It takes a trigger, a forbidden to make you feel sure
And a prompter to make sure you are anyway pure
To sit and even get a glimpse of the manure
That causes your ankles to feel trapped and chained
And your soul to feel, to feel so much drained
Past the Doppler realms of madness and the playgrounds of the deranged

You are arisen with the realms of the mist
Watch the waterfalls of blood around your clenched fist
Stamp your feet with the involuntary movement of sound
As you realise you are now lost and are never to be found....

Travel through time with the paintings of the masters
Laugh at every soul that is caught in the unfolding of disasters
You are like an astral bird in a very infinate silvered cage
All the world is full of fools and you are the bloody stage....

Caught in a trap and there is now the howling and the rage
You never listened to any of the wisdoms of the teachings of the sage
Too worried to see the tentacles begin to grasp around your waist
Pulled to the leviathian of the deep with the utter horror on your face....

Georges.

[Marisha]

The fields were green and coloured more
the reds and purple teared with the score
why fight your forever no more?
and your soul is imperfect and never to soar
back to the source and the primeval dream
that lasted so long it allowed you to scheme
and tasted of love, so incredibally impure....................
it takes a trigger, a trigger to make you feel sure
and a prompter to make sure you anyway pure
to sit and even get a glimpse of the huer
that causes your ankles to feel trapped and chained
and your soul to feel, to feel so much drained
georges


Hello, I have a few questions about this lovely poem. what does fight you "forever no more" mean, I am so confused!! Does that mean never or always! Also I have looked up "huer" and can't find it in my dictionary, but I did find "hew". This means to "cut down or up". Finally when the writer talks about "so much drained georges", what does that mean. I think it may be a spelling mistake for "so much drained gorges" but I am not certain.A gorge is a valley and I think the poem is about fields, and maybe trees being hewed into the valley?

Anyway, I really love it

Marisha

[Marisha]

Hello, I am sorry to be a fussy one! I was wondering if any of you have had time to think about my post and this poem, particularly about "gorges", I am now wondering if he meant "gorgeous"!!!

Marisha

[William]

Much of this poem appears to me to make no sense at all. Sorry!

God bless,
William

[Marisha]

thank you for being so kind, William. I was beginning to think I was all alone here. I don't know what makes good poetry but I felt this one was from the heart becuase it talks of the taste of love, although the chaining of the ankles!!! Oh, my!! I don't think I want to discuss that in public!!

Marisha

[George.Wright]

Marisha,
Thanks for the kind comments and feedback. I wrote this whilst stoned and drunk on early Sunday morning. I had been to see Leonard in Dublin on Friday the 13th and did not realise I had posted here. Tidied up the poem now. William, you were right, it was nonsense.

Best Wishes.

Georges.

[Kush]

Past the Doppler realms of madness and the playgrounds of the deranged

How about "Past the Doppler shifts into madness and the playgrounds of the deranged"??

Too much sense in poetry gets banal sometimes....I like the madness (and the streak of method) in your poems.

[George.Wright]

Kush,
Thanks for taking time to make a constructive comment, I think your wording is better and you are right about sense in poems, they are intense feelings of emotions. A moment in time.

Best Wishes.

Georges.

[Gullivor]

George,
You've seemed to of missed 'IT' by a fraction.

[George.Wright]

Gullivor,
Mathematics were never my strong point although it always infatuates the Masons, all that complicated Geometry and things. Life is so much simpler, as Roy Walker often said on Catchphrase, "Say what you see."

Best Wishes.

Georges.

[~greg]

You've edited it 4 times and still haven't corrected 'incredibally'.
Instead, you've added 'infinate', and 'leviathian'.

So how do we know you're not still drunk?
Or always drunk?

How can you ever be trusted again?

[William]

Greg
Is your Avatar a phallic symbol?

God bless
William

[~greg]

na.
it's the nautical semaphore for "cease fire". or something like that.

what you want would be more like this -

[George.Wright]

Hic Hic,
Sorry Greg. Glasgow is spinning around.

Georges.

[~greg]

Glasgow is spinning around

then repeat this until you see how silly it is: ...

"The firth of Forth, the firth of Forth, the firth of Forth, ..."

~~~~

wrt the peace sign - i was wrong.
it's really the semaphores for 'N' and 'D' ...
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peace_symbol

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/magazine/7292252.stm