Passage

greta · Post by **greta** » Sat Jul 26, 2003 11:56 am

Passage

Bloody red is the ground
you cannot wait no more.
For freedom and peace you cry
but He won't need you yet.

The Death took your sister,
he made your brother bend.
And when it was your turn to go
He reached for someone else.

So bad you wanted to join
their journey down the river Death
You was ready for the last breath
but the heart wasn't willing.

Do try to move on now.
please try be brave.
the world has it's ways
And there is noone to blame

Go live for the future.
for your unborn children
so,when it's time to go
they'll have someone to remember.

co-written with byron... a great title from him!!!

magneticcry · Post by **magneticcry** » Sat Jul 26, 2003 12:12 pm

oh,you managed to at least send THIS one here

but where is muahhahhahaa? sorry...
ok,i rather try not to push you with this muahhahhahaa all the time,but i tell you one thing-it is good ,almost as good as this untitled one

well,what should i suggest then?hmmm,have no idea,,

sorry again...
but it sounds great,even without a title!!!

lizzytysh · Post by **lizzytysh** » Sat Jul 26, 2003 5:26 pm

"For Your Unborn Children"

greta · Post by **greta** » Sat Jul 26, 2003 6:26 pm

thanks for the idea

lizzytysh · Post by **lizzytysh** » Sat Jul 26, 2003 6:36 pm

So much of it has to do with interesting perspectives of death, that a title with Death in it would be good, too.

greta · Post by **greta** » Sat Jul 26, 2003 6:39 pm

tho only idea i had was something like Moving on...
but i can't say i like it

lizzytysh · Post by **lizzytysh** » Sat Jul 26, 2003 6:51 pm

I am just particularly struck by your last verse! There are so many sad ones who lack in those memories. Iubita came immediately to mind with that....not necessarily that she is sad, but that is certainly a source of the sadness she does have.

Moving On is a primary theme of your poem, but that phrase just doesn't seem to do the depth of your poem justice.

Byron · Post by **Byron** » Sat Jul 26, 2003 8:53 pm

"Passage" ?

The passage of life.
The passing of age.
The passage of prose you have presented to us.
The passage we all have to travel through in our veil of tears.
Passing on our experiences of life.
Passing our shared love between each other and through our lineages.
The passing of time which can help to heal.

lizzytysh · Post by **lizzytysh** » Sat Jul 26, 2003 9:28 pm

"Passage" has the passive dynamic that I like for a title for your poem, and incorporates the "pass" elements that Byron has cited. Of course, in the end, you already know that it's your poem and for you to name. It may be you're rightfully resisting "containing" it with a title. It wouldn't be the first creation that proudly wore "Untitled."

George.Wright · Post by **George.Wright** » Sun Jul 27, 2003 2:46 am

passage is a good title but so is moving on................
A very nice poem, Greta
Based on experience?
Georges

greta · Post by **greta** » Sun Jul 27, 2003 6:09 pm

Byron
i have to agree with Lizzytysh and Georges that I like "Passage" because it is simple but it describes the poem...
Moving on is a little bit tooo simpe it is "dry" and boring while "passage" is interesting and maybe even a bit mysterious?

Georges...
When I started with a poem it was supposed to be a translation of a poem in estonian.. describing war..
Somehow after the second verse the words didn't suit English any ore and i began thinking new lines..Somehow i got to death...
While writing it i began thinking on my grandmother. I wasn't very depressed after she died because she was very sick and i was glad that her sufferings ended. But i was a little bit sad about her death...

Acctually in this poem has two meanings daying and change.
This poem might be about someone's grief but it might as well be about some other tragic event(breakup, losing a job, etc.). About you have to leave it behind you and move on.

George.Wright · Post by **George.Wright** » Sun Jul 27, 2003 9:47 pm

Thanks for taking my suggestion and using it for your title, Greta.
I am honoured.
Best Regards...............Georges

lizzytysh · Post by **lizzytysh** » Sun Jul 27, 2003 9:54 pm

Georges

It was Byron's suggestion

and your affirmation, but then your affirmation was a 50/50 split between his and hers

. So, if she went with her own, you'd be thanking her for taking your suggestion, as well

!

Love ya, Georges, just can't pass this up

,
Elizabeth

magneticcry · Post by **magneticcry** » Mon Jul 28, 2003 8:01 am

so,you found a title after all

and a really good one,i have to admit...
best regards to you greta,i have to leave the board for about a week,so i hope you`ll be just fine without me

bye....

George.Wright · Post by **George.Wright** » Mon Jul 28, 2003 10:59 am

You are right as usual Liz, my mistake..........It was Byron's title.
Apologies to Byron but this Board was buzzing and full of life at the weekend and dynamics, it was so good to see...............I got carried away.Nice title, Byron and nice poem, Greta...........
Georges