I Did Not Choose

[J Hillenburg]

I Did Not Choose



I did not choose

this life.

I was merely a child

when I came into this

situation,

and now it is all I know.

I committed myself to a life

outside of experiences

you are aware of.

I did not choose

this life.

It chose me.


Give me no more of

this weak world

of possessions.

They never impressed me

anyway.

I’ve seen many naked women,

flesh bear to my eyes,

and have partaken

of them.

I’ve seen money, expensive trifles,

the sum total of meaningless

tinsel. You can

have it all, shove it up your ass.

I did not choose

your world.

And even if I die besotted

in gutters of rejection,

your world I will still

keep

at a distance.


Fuck it, I might as well

drink, maybe

offer some sort of

toast to your world,

maybe some peace offering.

I did not choose this life.

I coulda been many other

things.

Ah, this life

chose me.


Okay, guess what?

I lied.

I did choose

this life.

I drank every bottle

they sat down

in front of me.

I smoked every joint.

I felt guilty

for every day.

Draw whatever conclusions

you will.


The fact of the matter

is I lied.

I was full of shit, I

slandered my own

honesty, you name it,

I did it.

And I bought my

own line of shit,

tried to convince myself,

everyone,

it was true,

but


never could

believe it myself.

[lizzytysh]

A number of places this could be posted in real life.