A Robin Pays a Visit

[Jimmy O'Connell]

A Robin Pays a Visit.
The ghosts of time have burnt their trails
of blood; what is distilled now is but mud
dried from primordial slime. Time has entered
into a pact with this robin as she, pin-legged,
skips from grub to grub, pecking
into the winter’s evening, while fog frosts
again the moss-ravaged garden with delight.

How passion is hummed, how the wing-bannered
magpie alights the trestle fence and waits!
Time indeed has stilled till nothing is revealed
to him but the simple dignities of laundry-doings
and water-boilings for tea and shortbread treats.

Other ghosts return to renew the patterns of the past,
the anticipated remains of this morning’s promise,
the closing in of night and her attunements to
the central heating clicking on and the rustle of blankets
warming our bodies as we lie together within time,
within an embrace remembered and renewed.

[Cate]

I really enjoyed this Jimmy.
I like the descriptiveness of it and the carefully chosen language from the pin-legged robin to the trestle fence the magpie is perched in.
Very nicely done.

Cate

[Jimmy O'Connell]

Thanks Cate for the appreciation.
This is one of my more convoluted ones but hope it unwound itself okay....

Jimmy

[Diane]

Jimmy, I like the theme of timelessness, and I love the strong images you create (like you usually do). But something about it doesn't 'flow', for me. Now that you have said it is convoluted, I thought I'd mention that. I don't often comment but I always read your pomes. Ta.

[Jimmy O'Connell]

Okay Diane... thanks for commenting...

Not sure about the "flow"... but what I meant by convoluted was the tying together of so many elements into a somewhat coherent piece... anyway glad you liked it more than somewhat!!!
Jimmy

[Sue]

"How passion is hummed.."

This is an intriguing and very curious phrase to have come up with. I'm not sure I understand its meaning, unless it is meant as a sort of soundtrack to your tea-making, but I do like the phrase very much!

[Cate]

I liked this line too Sue. For me it worked with the Magpie.
I imagined this bringer of good luck sitting and waiting humming away softly his quiet song of passion that he has brought to the house. I like the use of time here - time seems to be waiting - the magpie seems to be patiently waiting.
I like the use of the Robin who makes me think of spring and rebirth he seems to be bringing the gift of renewal to the couple of this house. To me fate seems to conspiring to bring this couple together again as lovers.
Jimmy you wondered if the poem unwound itself okay. Interpretation is not my strong point, I often just see what I want to, but to me it seems to unwind itself well. I realize the poem holds more then what I've been able to see but I like that because it means I'll what to come back to it.

Cate

[Diane]

Not sure about the "flow"...

Hi Jimmy. "Primordial slime" seems like a cliche, and the central heating clicking on seems a bit unpoetic. Those phrases break it up for me, but I am nothing of a poetry critic. Like the rest of it, though, anyhow.

[mat james]

enjoyed your poem jimmy, but love your avatar!

are they heading down the road to El Toboso where you can buy chickens cheap?

"golden helmet of Lambrino
there can be no
hat like thee
you and I know
that where e're we go
we make golden history"

A toast to don Q and Sancho P.

[Jimmy O'Connell]

Mat... the avatar comes with a great deal of help from Sue.... she sure knows how to travel around a computerinternetythingy... The Don and Sancho two sides of the one person... (male)...

Cate... I like your interpretation

Diane.... I see what you are at... but... you might be right about primordial slime.... but in this context I was hoping it might work... clicking radiators is very very domestic and ordinary... which is what I was trying to achieve...

Thank you all for comments

Jimmy