Lasting Thought

Elemental Rose · Post by **Elemental Rose** » Tue Jun 17, 2003 6:31 am

Hi this is my first time on the forum I am an aspiring poet who would like some critical analysis of my poetry from people I do not yet know. I hope you like my first post. Enjoy

Lasting Thought

The philosophy of tomorrow in yesterdays wind
sweeping across the bestilled sky
watching as all of past and present life goes by
knowing the fate to become of the creatures past.

Keeping the dream of waiting alive
thinking that as a person you can be there
where people try
where people wisper their fears
in beknownst of their courage.

What once was me is but now
a mind of eternal and peaceful bliss
only the bliss that dreams destroy
only the bliss that fears wait in lie for.

lizzytysh · Post by **lizzytysh** » Tue Jun 17, 2003 12:46 pm

Hi Elemental Rose ~

Welcome to the Forum

. I've enjoyed reading your "weighty" first post. As far as critiqueing, I won't be one to be doing that, as I in no way consider myself a critic. I try to stick with relating what I enjoy and why. However, your lines will require my rereading, to understand what you're saying with them and this time being early-morning, pre-work, I don't have that time right now. However, I'm confident that others will give you feedback. I do have time to welcome you.

~ Elizabeth

tom.d.stiller · Post by **tom.d.stiller** » Tue Jun 17, 2003 6:32 pm

Welcome to the forum, Elemental Rose! I hope you will like what you find here, and that you'll try to improve what you don't like.

Maybe I'll come back later to comment on your poem, but I'll have to read it again, when I'm less tired and distracted by the daily chores than I'm right now.

Please feel at home, though. Be assured you're in a region "where people try / where people whisper their fears"...

Tom