Space

[philrose]

Space

I rest beneath the streetlight
My feet surrounded by the shadows that fall
I wait behind the stage lights
Waiting for my name to be called
I stand between darkness and daylight
And hide in the alleyways that seem so small
I’m strangled by the fear of stage fright
That’s moving into the searchlight
As it shines on me
I stumble toward a flash light
I cannot move or speak
My words are always a curse

I stride down the sidewalks
And stop at every 4 way street
Staring into the eyes of strangers
As life just passes them by
And hard as I try to make sense
Of all the thoughts that I don’t understand
From a life I’ve tried to make better
As I look back at a life gone by
Every day just seems to get worse

I am not strong
I am not weak
When I speak
Whether it be a day
Or a week
Or a month
Or a year
My voice is never heard
I sense no danger
I show no fear
Yet I cry at the gossip and rumors
Causing tears to fall down my cheek

I do not pray at any altar
I kneel in front of an ancient mirror
That hangs with the silence of a graveyard
That offers no shelter from age
The mirror reflects back an image
Worn so hard through the years
I want to tell my stories
But can’t find the stairs to the stage

I keep looking into the jaws of history
That hides behind a solitary curtain
Always concealing its mystery
It only opens to reveal my secrets
Of this I’m positively certain
And I hear all the whispers
That my friends try to hide
The ones that breathe
Life into enemies
And echo from tongue to tongue
Forcing me to chase a life on the run

I cannot sleep in the same room
That my heartbeat wants to share
My aching bones a constant reminder
Of the days of wine, women and strangers
When I had a view that I just didn’t care
About the jealous opinions of others
Who turned up their noses
At all the things I did while I could
And showed their fragile backs to a man
Who always had something to say
A man could show them how to live
Without the boundaries they dare not cross
To get over to the side that is open
To whatever comes their way

So a life has gone by (almost)
I’ve travelled from sidewalk to sidewalk
Worn my shoes from coast to coast
Stepped on the cracks of the byways
The stretch from mile to mile
Journeyed the veins of the highways
Going from place to place
Always shaking hands
And saying goodbye face to face
To people I ran into by the roadside
Life has kicked them down so many times
And sometimes with just a simple smile
Has picked them up once in a while

Time is escaping from most of my dreams
Closing the door against my chest
I’m ready now for the reflection that memories unfold
Knowing that my ghosts will come dancing
And waltz hand in hand with me
On the dance floor where I used to be

I’m ready now for the rest of the struggle
That only my eyes can see
For my name time can now call
And I know I’ll deliver time an answer
With the strength of wisdom
That sits on my weary shoulders
As lonely and still as a statue
By my side as I rise from a fall
I’m not ready to obey time’s command
I’m a man who knows how to stand
Without needing friend or a crutch
I’m running against time
With so many stories untold

I know I’m as condemned now
As a life gone by
I stand accused of wasting time
In a life that should have got much further
Than the places I passed through
Far beyond the distant horizons
That put space between me and you