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One by one, the bills arrive
The bills are coming through
The debts, they are so many
The assets are so few

And no-one knows where the cash is going
And no-one knows why Kelly is glowing
Oh Lynch, I need you
I need you
I need you
Oh…I need you now

And those who cry, begin to cry
Those who hurt begin
And “hands up, hands up” cries a voice
“let all my guns come in”

And no-one knows where the cash is going
And no-one knows why Kelly is glowing
Oh Lynch, I need you
I need you
I need you
Oh…I need you now


And Len goes stumbling through that shop
In lonely secrecy
Saying “just the money please”
Or “I’ll blow your fucking head off, you bastard, don’t you see I’m desperate, I’m quite old and realistically I won’t be doing any more touring although I don’t mind selling my drawings and the occasional conversation
With Phillip Glass
So, shift your ass”

And no-one knows where the cash is going
And no-one knows why Kelly is glowing
Oh Lynch, I need you
I need you
I need you
Oh…I need you now

All at once his nostrils flare
His trouser zip flies open
Note by note he steals it all
Like it’s going out of fashion

And no-one knows where the cash is going
And no-one knows why Kelly is glowing
Oh Lynch, I need you
I need you
I need you
Oh…I need you now

And here he eats his sweet potato
Whilst shop and gun dissolve
And one by one his teeth fall out
Beyond the guardian’s wail

And no-one knows where the cash is going
And no-one knows why Kelly is glowing
Oh Lynch, I need you
I need you
I need you
Oh…I need you now


Those who shout, begin to shout
Those who die begin
Those whose honesty is lost
Are lost and lost again

And no-one knows where the cash is going
And no-one knows why Kelly is glowing
Oh Lynch, I need you
I need you
I need you
Oh…I need you now

One by one, the bills arrive
The bills are coming through
The debts, they are so many
The assets are so few

And no-one knows where the cash is going
And no-one knows why Kelly is glowing
Oh Lynch, I need you
I need you
I need you
Oh…I need you now

What a Fun alternative to "The Guests" !

It reads really well with the mental tune playing in the background. (Mental: the only kind of music I can play.)

Enjoyed this a lot.

Laurie

I was shocked, just plain shocked , to see Kelley's name misspelled, again... and NOW, knowing the writer ... shocked even more !

I love the first stanza:

One by one, the bills arrive
The bills are coming through
The debts, they are so many
The assets are so few

and these lines:

And no-one knows where the cash is going
And no-one knows why Kelly is glowing

This had a Spector and gangland feel to it:

And “hands up, hands up” cries a voice
“let all my guns come in”

I laughed at the off-the-wall, extended 'running off at the mouth' version here :

Saying “just the money please”
Or “I’ll blow your fucking head off, you bastard, don’t you see I’m desperate, I’m quite old and realistically I won’t be doing any more touring although I don’t mind selling my drawings and the occasional conversation
With Phillip Glass
So, shift your ass”

More funny lines:

All at once his nostrils flare
His trouser zip flies open
Note by note he steals it all
Like it’s going out of fashion

This verse I didn't get, unless it's a depiction of him in prison:

And here he eats his sweet potato
Whilst shop and gun dissolve
And one by one his teeth fall out
Beyond the guardian’s wail

A little self-promotion never hurt anyone, but who'd'uh thunk his business card would come embedded in a poem ?

And no-one knows where the cash is going
And no-one knows why Kelly is glowing
Oh Lynch, I need you
I need you
I need you
Oh…I need you nowmickey_one

Just couldn't help yourself, could you mickey_one?


~ Lizzy

lizzytysh wrote:I was shocked, just plain shocked , to see Kelley's name misspelled, again... and NOW, knowing the writer ... shocked even more !

I love the first stanza:

One by one, the bills arrive
The bills are coming through
The debts, they are so many
The assets are so few

and these lines:

And no-one knows where the cash is going
"And no-one knows why Kelly is glowing

This had a Spector and gangland feel to it:

And “hands up, hands up” cries a voice
“let all my guns come in”

I laughed at the off-the-wall, extended 'running off at the mouth' version here :

Saying “just the money please”
Or “I’ll blow your fucking head off, you bastard, don’t you see I’m desperate, I’m quite old and realistically I won’t be doing any more touring although I don’t mind selling my drawings and the occasional conversation
With Phillip Glass
So, shift your ass”

More funny lines:

All at once his nostrils flare
His trouser zip flies open
Note by note he steals it all
Like it’s going out of fashion

This verse I didn't get, unless it's a depiction of him in prison:

And here he eats his sweet potato
Whilst shop and gun dissolve
And one by one his teeth fall out
Beyond the guardian’s wail

A little self-promotion never hurt anyone, but who'd'uh thunk his business card would come embedded in a poem ?

And no-one knows where the cash is going
And no-one knows why Kelly is glowing
Oh Lynch, I need you
I need you
I need you
Oh…I need you nowmickey_one

Just couldn't help yourself, could you mickey_one?


~ Lizzy

good heavens, why has my name been added at the end of the last verse. . I am not sure the writer will approve althoguh he/she will doubtless enjoy your compliments.

you wondered about the following verse


"And here he eats his sweet potato
Whilst shop and gun dissolve
And one by one his teeth fall out
Beyond the guardian’s wail"

I expect that the somewhat precise writer was doing his best to pastiche the real verse

"And here they take their sweet repast
While house and grounds dissolve
And one by one the guests are cast
Beyond the garden wall"

Not only is it very well done, but it carries a lovely surreality as well.

Not only is it very well done, but it carries a lovely surreality as well.

I'm sure the writer will appreciate your comments, as well


~ Lizzy

This is the funniest.

Diane wrote:This is the funniest.

I absolutely agree. but I didn't win, so I am going to cry.

Don't cry Mickey, I didn't win either but I just took to my bed for 3 days to recover from my disappointment. I'm getting there, but I'm not sure if I'll ever truly recover. I have been emotionally maimed by the competition.

Joney wrote:Don't cry Mickey, I didn't win either but I just took to my bed for 3 days to recover from my disappointment. I'm getting there, but I'm not sure if I'll ever truly recover. I have been emotionally maimed by the competition.

sworry to hear that.

btw have I mentioned recently how excellent this parody was, especially the ranty middle bit with the fab ass and Glass rhyme and the even betterer touring and drawing tinkle?

mickey_one wrote:

Diane wrote:This is the funniest.

I absolutely agree. but I didn't win, so I am going to cry.

Michael, sometimes you are funny, and sometimes you are a complete arse.

Diane wrote:

mickey_one wrote:

Diane wrote:This is the funniest.

I absolutely agree. but I didn't win, so I am going to cry.

Michael, sometimes you are funny, and sometimes you are a complete arse.

which do you prefer?