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Pilgrim Clay V, VI, VII

Posted: Fri Apr 06, 2007 2:30 am
by Jimmy O'Connell
Pilgrim Clay

V


In this heat hangs that throaty tang only
Cow-dung heaviness gives; tractors are out
Ranging the fields with manure. Swallows have

Just flown in, all swoop and dash; this, all this
Is elemental: breaking open the sod,
The harrowing, the preparing of clay

For the seed. Farming is this tending clay,
Plumbing the smells and stirrings in the earth,
Where brow-sweat precedes an awakening;

A time for what Rilke calls ‘heart-work’:
When our sensings become clay; when swallows
Return to build again precarious nests.


VI

The stars and/or whatever did conspire
In the Institute lobby, an awkward
Gawky youth to be spellbound by beauty

And fragility. Little did I guess
The strength in your grace; your gift to me:
You allowed me to (say it) love you; a first

Intimacy of the heart - a talisman
From which to bless. In the Municipal
We stood, once, gazing at a Leech painting:

A woman, on a parasol afternoon,
Summer green and lilac; you caught me
Attending you, and knew you were beloved.


VII


She took my scout’s hat, looking for a chase;
I pursued with giggling, feigned annoyance
Around the monastery guest house, until

A monk called a halt to our capering;
It was ‘68, ‘The Long Hot Summer’:
Kennedy, King. Terms like: ‘racial violence’,

‘Civil rights’ were new to me. I was learning
The difference between ‘black’ and ‘white’. It was
before Burntollet: ‘Papist’ and ‘Loyalist’,

‘North’ and ‘South’. Perhaps some old innocence
In me hasn’t learned yet that opposites
Can’t be celebrated like ‘boy’ and ‘girl’.

Posted: Mon Apr 09, 2007 5:55 pm
by Christopher T. George
Hello Jimmy

Poem V seems the strongest of these three pieces although all three have much interest.

In VI, I very much dislike "The stars and/or whatever" and feel you could do better there... other parts of the same poem are stronger but "and/or whatever" seems weak and teenagerish (sorry!!!!!).

I like the the ranging between conflicts in VII and the incident with the monk. Nicely done. "capering" might be a bit too whimsical, I'm not sure.

A good series, Jimmy. Keep up the good work.

Chris

Posted: Mon Apr 16, 2007 7:53 pm
by Jimmy O'Connell
Point taken about the "whatever"... but I am sticking to it. In fact your "criticism" of it confirms my choice of phrase... it is teenagerish... I was that teenager!!!!
Thanks for the rest of the comments... always good to get feedback...