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The haikuesq-baiyat of albert khayyam

1)...Punch-drunk apostate
drops to ripple-round in myth
...backward beaconing

2)...humming saffron-dusk
baritone didgeridoo
omni pad-me aum...

3)...an Einstein for an I ?
a billion suns look to me
brahma at-man-I

4)...mind’s muddy waters clear
eclect to clarity
arcs in consciousness

5)...arks in suspension...
this coracle-oracle
kayaks deep waters

6)...why whine while wine’s cup’d ?
as Armageddon autumns
now will still be now

7)...poetic zenith ?
e=mc²
some summ’ry son’s sum

...moonwine Eden dreams
pore I ,lapping cups of You...
...starry lamps unveil...

[img][/img]


cursor click the poll above and vote for the haiku's that make sense to you.
post a response to any that you wish to comment on.

Is this your hairku zenith? I look forward to finding out.
Thank youx1000
JC

omni pad-me aum...

an Einstein for an I ?
a billion suns look to me
brahma at-man-I

I need some help with the first and last line here Mat, please?
Sincerely,
Yada yada yada

Really liked it Mat. Thank you.

It's delightful to watch you play and fancy about with words, Mat . It's as though the facets and glowing colours of the opals have wended their way into your thinking.


~ Lizzy

yes, it's fun
But what do they mean for you.
Any guesssses?

Matj

I don't know why you have ellipses on all of them.
Sure, I'll have a go. What have I to lose?

...Punch-drunk apostate
drops to ripple-round in myth
...backward beaconing


I think this one is about losing religion. The first line supports this quite easily. The second line provides an image - the ripple effect - as though someone has introduced doubt and challenged the faith. The final line, backward beaconing, is best analyzed, well, backwards. A beacon is a signal fire, it gives direction and hope, yet the speaker here says it's backward. Whatever caused the ripple is a backward beacon. Now what caused the ripple? Was it the punch drunk apostate, in other words, a flaming atheist? Or is the punch-drunk apostate what the speaker is becoming? Either interpretation works for me.

Manna,
I suppose I meant "vote for the one that makes the most sense to you."
If you click on the circles (elipse?) the you register a vote.
I will soon find out which make sense only to me

Matj

Manna,
I suppose I meant "vote for the one that makes the most sense to you."
If you click on the circles (ellipse?) then you register a vote.
I will soon find out which make sense only to me !

Matj

I understand about how to vote; I think I'm the only person who has voted.

My question was in regard to your punctuation. This mark "..." is called an ellipsis, plural is ellipses. It's usually used to indicate an omission. For instance, "Leonard went to ... school today." It could mean that Leonard went to elementary school today, or that he went to pretend school, or flirting school. The ellipsis is also used to indicate a kind of "so on and so forth" sentiment. Poets often use it to say something like, "I'll sneak off into this little corner while you ponder that for a sec."

So I was curious why you've used it here. That's all. Sorry if this sounds like a lesson. There's a grammar Nazi living behind my right ear. I've tried to get him with the Q-Tip, but he is quicker than I am.

Manna, I had no idea, so thanks for the info/lesson.
Grammar is is a bit of an issue for me. If I get it right it is not because I know what I am doing. It is just luck!
I put the three dots, ellipses in those verses simply to separate the line from the preceding number.
Sometimes I use three dots, eg ... to create a pause in a poem or to slow it down a bit. Perhaps I should cease doing this as it must be confusing to those who know better.
All grammar nazis are welcome.

I recently re-posted these haiku's and added the poll as an attempt to get some more feedback on them. I am very fond of them.
You were the first on this thread to vote as the option was not there earlier.

Regards, Matj

Yeah, I've noticed this usage a lot in poetry - to slow down for a sec.

You haven't said what you thought of my analysis. Am I anywhere close to your intention?

I think this one is about losing religion. The first line supports this quite easily. The second line provides an image - the ripple effect - as though someone has introduced doubt and challenged the faith. The final line, backward beaconing, is best analyzed, well, backwards. A beacon is a signal fire, it gives direction and hope, yet the speaker here says it's backward. Whatever caused the ripple is a backward beacon. Now what caused the ripple? Was it the punch drunk apostate, in other words, a flaming atheist? Or is the punch-drunk apostate what the speaker is becoming? Either interpretation works for me.

You are on the right track Manna. Very close.

Or is the punch-drunk apostate what the speaker is becoming?

yes!
and like a boxer, he drops to the mat
and the mat is myth
so he re-enters his myth
to come to his own understandings
rather than his inherited ones
he no longer rejects the myth, completely
and never did
but now he ventures forth into that realm
as a free man
to wander around and interpret the stories and meanings
his way
not the "combines" way as McMurphy might put it
in One Flew Over the Cookoo's Nest.

As you suggest, the beacon is a beacon of hope
and it shines from the past
some ancient poets and story tellers
created these stories
and I sense many of those messages are evergreen

so I drop
in
to ripple
round (to become complete)
in my attempt to know myself
and their wisdom
their view
their connections and ways

and to see if their vision
is my view.


I might add, Manna, that my interpretation of an apostate isn't one who rejects their inherited religion, but rather one who rejects the inherited interpretation of his religion/myth. So to me, the position of apostate, that informed yet independent view/perspective is necessary in what Jung might call "the process of individuation"; becoming your own person.

And they say poetry should not be explained by the author!
Never mind. I seep mistakes.

Thanks for the feedback, Manna, Matj

Hey, all right.

I think I understand another one, though this one seems pretty easy to me:

mind’s muddy waters clear
eclect to clarity
arcs in consciousness

I think it's about making that creative leap. Some part of the brain makes a stretch out to another part, and it's the "Oh! I get it!" moment. These moments happen when you least expect them.
I really like the use of arc for this, how you've made use of two meanings at once, at least in my interpretation. You have the shape of an arc or trajectory, a reaching kind of shape, and you also have the electrical arc where we see a spark.

so far so good,
you are reading the same script!
and there is more, if you care to hang in there.

I'll explain later, but I don't want to spoil the fun!

Thanks for your time Manna
and regards, Matj.