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Take me down
take me down
take me down
to the night of the chords
to the lounging of verse
to the sirens above
no better, no worse
from the boat to the stalls
to the shelter and threat
from a nothing, a no-one
idling his bet
from the journey on high
racing hikers and strays
from the comforts and wise
to the platforms and haze
from the green and the blues
to the brick and the spires
the duplicate cars
the terraced male choirs

take me down
take me down
take me down
to the girl and the grey
the court and the dance
to the folk and the stage
the gradient romance
from the top of the deck
a petticoat held low
to the chef and his feast
to the hall and the quo
to my room, to my room
with an idol insane
scars on a portrait
one eye on the cane
the matchbox verandahs
counting their screams
of passion and music
of teachers in dreams

take me down from this mount
take me down from this view
take me down to the edge
of a life I once knew

pete

Delicious! Definitely satisfies that
hunger I've been speaking of.
And it gets richer with each reading.

Love
B

Peter, what picture are you looking at? Is it before you now, or something which you recall "in pensive mood" as the great walker once wrote?

Babz
thankyou for those comments

Byron
These are memories of events from 1971/72 of when I started college life.

Pete

Your final stanza creates feelings and images of nourishment from a metaphorical water's edge, related to a time of particular closeness and loving in my life. It's the culmination of your entire poem, and very incisive for me.

Elizabeth
It's interesting to read your comments about the culmination of the poem.
I started writing this quite a few months ago and, up until last week, it finished at the line ;
'of teachers in dreams'
I had previously tried to keep it going beyond this and have many scraps of paper to testify my attempts but I had exhausted all my prominent memories, it started to ruin what I already had and the cryptic flow didn't want to flow anymore.
I was going to finish it with 3 more 'take me downs' but inspiration took over and, in a flash, the last stanza appeared. I immediately knew it was thus finished ....... I think

Pete

"to the hall and the quo"

- is that a reference to the Quo, as in you were a Quo fan? Can't think what else it could mean!

Sue

Halls of residence and Status Quo ?

In danger of incurring Babz's wrath I will offer my explanation...

every Saturday there was a student disco or concert in the main hall.
We saw many groups there...some before they were famous.
Barclay James Harvest
Genesis (with Peter Gabriel)
Roxy Music
to name a few

but the one which I remember vividly was the Status Quo concert.
It was many, many decibels higher than our ears could take so my wife to be and I walked out before our ear drums exploded.
As we walked away we looked back at the corregated roof of the hall and we could swear that it was moving with the force of the music.

we should have asked for our ticket money back....2 x 75p !!

Pete

Ha! Ha! Pete.

My wrath is frozen solid; it's 10 below zero here.
As you well know, my comment about 'explaining'
poems applied to explaining them 'before' they
were disclosed. And my opinion remains that
to do so robs the reader of a sense of discovery.
To reply to an honest question is both acceptable
and polite. Witness my response to you about
Donovan.

Now I'm back to bed.

Will someone else please post? My name shows
six out of the last seven posts in this section.

Love
Babz

Hi Babz
Thankyou for putting me straight
I am indebted to your patience and understanding with me, your pupil.

Sorry to hear about your frozen wrath but at least you can save it for a sunny day when it thaws.

keep posting
Love Pete