leonardcohenforum.com

Axle (with apologies to Leila from rec.arts.poems)

The axle reclines upon the lawn,
Bronzed by a freckle of dew from the dawn:
Heroic, feining lassitude as the grass shades its loins.

Downtrodden, it sits in a shroud of its skin:
Now orange and frayed by the rut he was in.
Hands pocketed and fond of treasure, I jiggle my keys.

Once dreaming of travel, or invading the night,
I think of the someone who left him to rust
And wait for a signal to harness a laugh.

Now casting a look to the lot straight ahead,
Sedans in full splendor, embarking for night,
Designed by succubi with spoilers for wings.

OK, Greebie. You can stop with the, "I think I have something that rhymes for you since you're into "nice"."
I liked the images in this one too and posted responding to both of your poems now because I like them. Don't think I'm giving you a Readers Digest audience response here...you could be understanding me too quickly also.
Perhaps others will post more in-depth comments.
As for me...I just like them. Good for me. Good for you.

Ooops Dar,

I see how the way I posted that previous message could seem like a slight or an insult. I did not mean it that way. Apologies.

I was taught early in my life that the most appropriate response to a compliment is always "thank you."

So, thank you.

Ok. I can't shut up. Leonard Cohen rhymes and I wouldn't say he's into "nice" either. I honestly respect your feedback and was merely trying to discuss process, which is always a big mistake -- but I just can't help myself. I'm a process person! I can't just say I like a porsche, I gotta see what's inside the engine. It's a curse, because it makes other people mad.

Ok. So NOW thank you. And again. I really appreciate the feedback.

Ryan. . .

dar wrote:OK, Greebie. You can stop with the, "I think I have something that rhymes for you since you're into "nice"."
I liked the images in this one too and posted responding to both of your poems now because I like them. Don't think I'm giving you a Readers Digest audience response here...you could be understanding me too quickly also.
Perhaps others will post more in-depth comments.
As for me...I just like them. Good for me. Good for you.

No sweat, really Greebie. I was just teasing you honestly. It's hard when you "put yourself out there" and post your poetry. Wish I could take the time to really check out the engine of your stuff because it's got Porche written all over it to me. Nice!