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Poem F
Posted: Tue Mar 07, 2006 7:45 am
by LaurieAK
Poem F:
'To Read Or Not To Read'
To seize on times lost
to seasons lost for ever,
let us, remember?
Posted: Wed Mar 08, 2006 12:57 am
by Byron
F was mine. Thanks Laurie for a very difficult task that you volunteered for. Well done. Thanks to lizzie for getting the bundles ready to send to laurie. There is so much hard work goes in to organising and presenting competions like this and you two have come up trumps. Well done and take a bow. I wrote C as well.
Posted: Wed Mar 08, 2006 5:20 am
by LaurieAK
Mr. B~
You're welcome. No problemo.
My comments on what I now know is your Haiku...
I liked the sentiments. It said alot in a little space. The one problem I had with it was the use of the word "lost," twice. With only 17 syllables, re-running that word should have been avoided (imho)
L
Posted: Wed Mar 08, 2006 1:24 pm
by Byron
I agree. I was so hung up on 'lost' that it ruled me, instead of the other way round. It acted like a headlight to this rabbit. I was mesmorised by it. I was getting mental images of all that had gone before. Now why the hell didn't I use 'gone'??? Slapped wrists administered.
I am an idiot
I am an idiot
I am an idiot
This isn't a haiku
I am an idiot
No way is it
I am an idiot
Posted: Wed Mar 08, 2006 6:39 pm
by LaurieAK
No way is it
I am an idiot
Okay. With this I will agree.
The word "lost" will do that to a person. Consider yourself Warned!
Posted: Wed Mar 08, 2006 9:47 pm
by Nightstalker
Short, pithy but full.
Replace the 2d 'lost' with 'gone'? Absolutely
Think I'd write more?
..........
yeahyah I liked it too.