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she didn’t stay. you can breathe easy. she didn’t stay. she stayed put and didn’t breathe too much or breathe too little. she didn’t move or smile too much or smile too little. like the good girl everyone insists she is. 3am. an arm wrestle on the coffee table. taxi. few moments on the sidewalk. holding each other. she breathed in his skin. kissed his neck. he said ‘i never want to let you go’. then let her go. her life rushed through her head. best not kiss him. best not ask anything. best not linger. she didn’t know this but she knew this would be the last time. and she knew it wasn't the kilometers. it’s not the kilometers alone. and she hated them and she hated herself and she hated him and loved him and didn’t want to get into the car with the stranger behind the wheel when her love was standing right there so close she could taste him. but she didn’t stay. and now she sings him blue valentines. each st valentines day. and the ghost of his memory always stays with her. like a half forgotten dream. and she sees him every time she turns her back. and now he’s always on the run and he’s changed his name. and it takes a lot of whiskey to make her nightmares go away.* if only she’d stayed. but she didn’t. she didn’t stay.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

you can breathe easy.

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*TW

3am. an arm wrestle on the coffee table. taxi

Such vivid images and sad transition, Ania. Will you please PM me with this man's name, so I can Google and White Pages him until I track him down and save your pride or whatever it is that allows you to regret, mourn, and feel remorse, but not take action to set things right, or at least try?

< * these thoughts come to you with love ~ it's only a minor matter that, until we experience otherwise, we have only one life to live ~ I'm glad someone's breathing easy, because it sure isn't me * >


Love,
Lizzy

lizzytysh wrote: < * these thoughts come to you with love ~ it's only a minor matter that, until we experience otherwise, we have only one life to live ~ I'm glad someone's breathing easy, because it sure isn't me * >


Love,
Lizzy

nor me lizzy

Well, I was hoping you'd say, "This was Assignment #92... 'Imagine that you...'" ~ but, no .

When love is so difficult to discover, losing it is all the more sad and in some cases, incomprehensible. A goodbye at a taxi door, when it should've and could've been otherwise... what a devastatingly lonely ride that had to have been.

lizzytysh wrote:what a devastatingly lonely ride that had to have been.

the reality of which was not realised at that moment in time

So, it's been a long, lonely ride since... even worse.

Whiskey, of course, will never make it better . In fact, worse .

< * Leave your mind at home. Follow your heart. * >


Goodnight, Ania.


Love,
Lizzy

ania wrote:he said ‘i never want to let you go’. then let her go.

is there a way that he doesn't let her go if she wants so? (generally speaking, not the case in this piece...) life is one thing, after that, you have only songs and art like this to make you believe someone can't let someone go. everyone says "it's life" and "it will pass", but i'm afraid exactly of this what ania write: what if the ghost remains forever there, and one day you look backward and see it all the way following you? not to mention *each blue valentine". that horrifies. but also, if you foget, that horrifies even more. and it's only two weeks until valentine now. horrifying.

btw, this is too beautiful, and too sad. well, again it seems that all beautiful is actually sad. tom waits' "blue valentine" goes well with this. btw, lizz, i learned only one thing: you forget the pride. man never got a woman back, not by begging on his knees, that doesn't work.

Yes ~ Pride ~ Killer of relationships. Good lesson to learn, Tom. The sooner, the better.

~ Lizzy

Hi Ania...

speed and truth: excelent coctel.
You're going to be the next Samuel Beckett.

Congratulations.

Tom Sakic wrote:

ania wrote:he said ‘i never want to let you go’. then let her go.

[...]

btw, this is too beautiful, and too sad. well, again it seems that all beautiful is actually sad. [...] "blue valentine" goes well with this.

thank you...

and his birthday is on st valentines day.

muddy wrote:Hi Ania...

speed and truth: excelent coctel.
You're going to be the next Samuel Beckett.

Congratulations.

do you read ray carver?

yes. What do you read?

muddy wrote:yes. What do you read?

caver, stachura, cohen, kafka, yadayadayada

and his birthday is on st valentines day

Major complication .


Love,
Lizzy

ha!