Story M
Posted: Tue Oct 18, 2005 8:54 pm
STORY M ~~(tied for 2nd place w/story C) almost forgot: Andrew Darby wrote this!
Living Next to Leonard Cohen
Magnificent Mumbai, Beguiling Bombay... yes, this seething Indian metropolis of close to 20 million people became my home for three months in 2003. Incredibly, this urban giant had the same number of human beings within its confines as my whole homeland continent down under! Its streets hummed with life in every exotic, amusing, disturbing or simply peculiar manifestation. So, what was my reason for being there, you may well ask? Quite simply, I was there to do business for ‘big business’.
I was contracted to train staff to answer enquiries via ‘call centres’ that would provide customer service for large telecommunications and other companies that were based in Australia. So my job largely entailed teaching my Indian trainees Basic English, alongside what can best be described as an “Oz enculturation” course that would aid their phone communications with the Australians making service enquiries or complaints. You know, I informed them about the most fundamental Aussie socio-cultural (and spiritual) attributes: the importance of backyard barbecues as weekend shrines; the “sacred cow” of footy in the winter season; the phenomenon of talking with the spirits (ie. with a Bundy Rum in hand); and the essentially spiritual nature of Bondi Beach in the national psyche (being an iconic place of sun, surf, sand – and sex – worship).
While undertaking this work, I was domiciled just off Breach Candy in South Mumbai. My contracting company had taken out a three month lease on a comfortable serviced apartment facing the sea. My daily work routine was perfectly compatible with my ‘night owl’ habits, in that I didn’t start work until 10 am. I usually finished by about 6 pm and after the day’s teaching I would typically start the evening with a drink or two at one of the locally favoured ‘watering holes’. Here I socialised with other staff and sometimes students, then dined out at any one of a number of excellent but affordable restaurants. I often didn’t get in until 10 pm or later at night, so I was very appreciative of the reclusive time I had upon my return home.
I nearly always put on Mr Cohen’s music from say 11 pm until I retired at around 1 am! I loved listening to Leonard at that bewitching time of night (perhaps too loudly – to cater for my impaired hearing). He never failed to put me in the right frame of mind for a good night’s sleep. Weekends were spent doing domestic chores, lazing around, walking and sightseeing. I would also read the local rag, the Mumbai Sun (or simply the Sun, as it was popularly referred to), of a Saturday morning.
I was only half aware of someone moving into the adjacent apartment some weeks after me but wasn’t really curious about this. The only significant moment of awareness of this neighbour, was one occasion when I was reading the Sun on my very open balcony and had the feeling someone was watching me. Upon turning around, I witnessed the curtains in my neighbour’s apartment gently closing, though I was too late to actually see anyone. To say that the life in this half-tenanted apartment block was characterised by a fair degree of boredom (even with poor noise insulation), perhaps reflects badly on both my neighbours and me, but truthfully, nobody seemed to have a social life that was at all remarkable or animated.
Anyway, my first little moment of excitement there occurred on my balcony one Saturday morning, when upon opening the Sun, I discovered none other than Mr Leonard Cohen staring back at me! The accompanying text of this article was about Cohen’s current visit to a local spiritual guru, Ramesh Balsekar. Not surprisingly, I was already aware of a previous extended visit by Leonard to Mr Balsekar in 1999, as I had read about it in the Leonard Cohen Files web-site. So, on an impulse and with high expectations, I headed straight into the city to see if I could spot Mr Cohen in the haunts he was associated with back in 1999 - a man on a mission! I already had a fair idea which hotel accommodated him in 1999. I also knew about his Old Keneseth Eliyahoo Synagogue visit then and his dining at the Khyber Restaurant on at least one occasion. However, I was only to be disappointed, as I saw neither sight nor sound of Mr Cohen and every enquiry I made about his whereabouts was either followed by blank looks or bewildering conversations that left me none the wiser!
Okay, how then had I eventually discovered that my neighbour was none other than Leonard Cohen? My ultimate moment of astonishing revelation, wry amusement (and some embarrassment) came to me via the contents of an innocent little envelope that had been pushed under my door. It contained this simple, but frank and witty, message:
"Dear neighbour,
You know who I am
You’ve stared at the Sun:
I am the one you play without changing
for some time, up to one
Please don’t get me wrong, you’re choice in music is commendable, as is your very evident devotion to its creator, but unfortunately I’m a delicate old insomniac who can’t stand listening to myself at the best of times, let alone late at night! So please, with the greatest of respect, I would ask that you curtail your late listening sessions or perhaps just use headphones.
Your humble but tired musical master,
Leonard Cohen
P.S. It would be nice to share a cup of locally brewed tea with you before I return to LA in two weeks time."
It was over this same cup of tea that I also discovered that Leonard’s other neighbour (in the adjacent apartment to the east) was none other than Ramesh Balsekar himself, the spiritual guru Leonard had come to visit - something I might have figured out earlier, if I had been more observant and also read Kahlid Mohamed’s 1999 Times of India article (posted on Jarkko’s web-site) more carefully!
Living Next to Leonard Cohen
Magnificent Mumbai, Beguiling Bombay... yes, this seething Indian metropolis of close to 20 million people became my home for three months in 2003. Incredibly, this urban giant had the same number of human beings within its confines as my whole homeland continent down under! Its streets hummed with life in every exotic, amusing, disturbing or simply peculiar manifestation. So, what was my reason for being there, you may well ask? Quite simply, I was there to do business for ‘big business’.
I was contracted to train staff to answer enquiries via ‘call centres’ that would provide customer service for large telecommunications and other companies that were based in Australia. So my job largely entailed teaching my Indian trainees Basic English, alongside what can best be described as an “Oz enculturation” course that would aid their phone communications with the Australians making service enquiries or complaints. You know, I informed them about the most fundamental Aussie socio-cultural (and spiritual) attributes: the importance of backyard barbecues as weekend shrines; the “sacred cow” of footy in the winter season; the phenomenon of talking with the spirits (ie. with a Bundy Rum in hand); and the essentially spiritual nature of Bondi Beach in the national psyche (being an iconic place of sun, surf, sand – and sex – worship).
While undertaking this work, I was domiciled just off Breach Candy in South Mumbai. My contracting company had taken out a three month lease on a comfortable serviced apartment facing the sea. My daily work routine was perfectly compatible with my ‘night owl’ habits, in that I didn’t start work until 10 am. I usually finished by about 6 pm and after the day’s teaching I would typically start the evening with a drink or two at one of the locally favoured ‘watering holes’. Here I socialised with other staff and sometimes students, then dined out at any one of a number of excellent but affordable restaurants. I often didn’t get in until 10 pm or later at night, so I was very appreciative of the reclusive time I had upon my return home.
I nearly always put on Mr Cohen’s music from say 11 pm until I retired at around 1 am! I loved listening to Leonard at that bewitching time of night (perhaps too loudly – to cater for my impaired hearing). He never failed to put me in the right frame of mind for a good night’s sleep. Weekends were spent doing domestic chores, lazing around, walking and sightseeing. I would also read the local rag, the Mumbai Sun (or simply the Sun, as it was popularly referred to), of a Saturday morning.
I was only half aware of someone moving into the adjacent apartment some weeks after me but wasn’t really curious about this. The only significant moment of awareness of this neighbour, was one occasion when I was reading the Sun on my very open balcony and had the feeling someone was watching me. Upon turning around, I witnessed the curtains in my neighbour’s apartment gently closing, though I was too late to actually see anyone. To say that the life in this half-tenanted apartment block was characterised by a fair degree of boredom (even with poor noise insulation), perhaps reflects badly on both my neighbours and me, but truthfully, nobody seemed to have a social life that was at all remarkable or animated.
Anyway, my first little moment of excitement there occurred on my balcony one Saturday morning, when upon opening the Sun, I discovered none other than Mr Leonard Cohen staring back at me! The accompanying text of this article was about Cohen’s current visit to a local spiritual guru, Ramesh Balsekar. Not surprisingly, I was already aware of a previous extended visit by Leonard to Mr Balsekar in 1999, as I had read about it in the Leonard Cohen Files web-site. So, on an impulse and with high expectations, I headed straight into the city to see if I could spot Mr Cohen in the haunts he was associated with back in 1999 - a man on a mission! I already had a fair idea which hotel accommodated him in 1999. I also knew about his Old Keneseth Eliyahoo Synagogue visit then and his dining at the Khyber Restaurant on at least one occasion. However, I was only to be disappointed, as I saw neither sight nor sound of Mr Cohen and every enquiry I made about his whereabouts was either followed by blank looks or bewildering conversations that left me none the wiser!
Okay, how then had I eventually discovered that my neighbour was none other than Leonard Cohen? My ultimate moment of astonishing revelation, wry amusement (and some embarrassment) came to me via the contents of an innocent little envelope that had been pushed under my door. It contained this simple, but frank and witty, message:
"Dear neighbour,
You know who I am
You’ve stared at the Sun:
I am the one you play without changing
for some time, up to one
Please don’t get me wrong, you’re choice in music is commendable, as is your very evident devotion to its creator, but unfortunately I’m a delicate old insomniac who can’t stand listening to myself at the best of times, let alone late at night! So please, with the greatest of respect, I would ask that you curtail your late listening sessions or perhaps just use headphones.
Your humble but tired musical master,
Leonard Cohen
P.S. It would be nice to share a cup of locally brewed tea with you before I return to LA in two weeks time."
It was over this same cup of tea that I also discovered that Leonard’s other neighbour (in the adjacent apartment to the east) was none other than Ramesh Balsekar himself, the spiritual guru Leonard had come to visit - something I might have figured out earlier, if I had been more observant and also read Kahlid Mohamed’s 1999 Times of India article (posted on Jarkko’s web-site) more carefully!
The nice (mis)quote of the lyric was excellent!
