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Words come easy, silence talks (to Gordon)

The words had never had more sense than now,
we play the ping pong game so well,
we never fail a single stroke
you throw, I get
I propose, you accept
you insinuate, I guess
Sparks crossing the space
always touch the right place,
silence has never been so meaningful as now
my friend.

HI Sandra~

Your poems always have such a quiet, sweet voice. (a good thing)

I like this, but have a suggestion: since you used the metaphor of 'ping pong' I think this piece is ripe for the use of the word "serve" or a form of it.

I think it could easily be worked into your next to last line if you are so inclined to consider my opinion.

It is lovely as is...you know how it is with poetry...detailsdetails.

You capture the 'back n forth' aspect very well. Thanks for sharing.

regards,
Laurie

thank you Laurie.....I appreciate very much your comment!!

I like it, too. It paints a picture in the mind.

Hi Sandra ~

This is very powerful in its subtleties of exchanges.

Since we're apparently invoking the 'Sunshine Law' regarding suggestions on the mechanics of your poem, mine is this:

silence has never been so meaningful than now

My suggestion [for consistency's sake] would be, either:

"silence has never been more meaningful than now"

or

"silence has never been so meaningful as it is now"

or

"silence has never been so meaningful as now"

Of those three, I prefer the first. But, again, that's just me. I love, really love, this poem you've written, Sandra.

~ Lizzy

I like proofreading thank you , thank you , thank you......both of you.

My pleasure, Sandra . I hope it's helpful. This is a truly lovely poem .
One I can relate to, as well.